Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, September 7th, 2009 (USA Network)
Location: The Allstate Arena in Chicago, IL
Results by 411Mania.com
"Yes, sir, we promised you a great main eventů"
-Live from Allstate Arena in Rosemont, IL
-Hosted by Michael Cole & Jerry "The King" Lawler
-Raw starts with Howard Finkel playing the role of Rod Roddy introducing the guest host of "The Price is Raw" Bob Barker. Barker comes out complete with skinny mic. Barker gets the best face reaction I've heard in years, and after Bob thanks the audience he tells them we're going to party tonight. Tonight Bob says we're going to play a pricing game, but to play a pricing game we have to have contestants. He asks Howard to introduce the contestants. The first of which is Santino who comes sprinting through the crowd, Jillian Hall, IRWIN R. FREAKING SCHYSTER, and finally Chris Jericho who doesn't come out. Jericho finally comes out through the entrance in full wrestling gear with his name tag stuck to his chest. We start the bidding on the "Best of Smackdown" DVD. Santino starts the bidding, but he doesn't quite get the game and wants to buy a vowel. Finally Santino bids $1465 for the DVD. Jillian is next to bid, but before she bids she wants to sing. After her wretched singing she finally bids $75. IRS wants to know if this bid includes taxes, and Bob tells him no. IRS will have none of that, and insists that his bid of $50 includes tax. Jericho's turn is next, but he's had enough of these shenanigans and gets up in Bob's face. Jericho says no one calls him Chris, and demands that Barker shows him some respect. Barker completely no-sells Jericho's threat, but Jericho demands that he be called Mr. Jericho and says that he needs to be pandering to him. Jericho says he is 1 half, but Barker cuts him off and says he heard 1 and that will be Chris's bid. He threatens to turn Jericho over his knee if he doesn't get down to the stage. Jericho's $1 bid is the winner since the DVD costs $18.99, and Barker then orders Jericho to the ring where can earn another prize. Jericho wins a trip to Hawaii if he beats his next opponent.
Chris Jericho vs. Montel Vontavious Porter
Chain wrestling sequence starts things with Jericho getting the better of it grabbing a hammerlock. MVP reverses into a chinlock, and they get back to their feet. Jericho hits a shoulderblock, but runs into a clothesline. Drop toehold from MVP connects, and he follows that up with a lowdropkick. MVP gets backdropped to the apron, but an attempted crossbody from Jericho misses as he goes crashing to the floor as we head to break.
Back from commercial Jericho is back in control. MVP makes a quick comeback charging with the big boot, but Jericho dodges and MVP goes crashing back to the floor. Jericho goes out after him, and fires him back inside. Jericho whips MVP into the corner, and then drops an elbow. Jericho boots an oncoming MVP, but gets caught with an inside cradle for two. Jericho answers with a clothesline for two of his own which he follows up by grabbing a reverse chinlock. MVP elbows out, and then rolls up Jericho for a two count. Enzaguri attempt by Jericho misses, and MVP is back with a series of clotheslines. MVP connects with a back elbow, and then delivers a flying clothesline for two. Jericho stops a backdrop attempt, and then hits a bulldog. Lionsault attempt misses, and MVP then connects with a facebuster. Jericho counters the Ballin elbow drop into the Walls of Jericho, but MVP is able to counter into a small package for two. Jericho runs into a big boot for two, as the crowd is now smoking hot for these nearfalls. Jericho counters the playmaker, and goes for the codebreaker. MVP grabs the ropes to stop the codebreaker, and then grabs a jackknife rollup to pick up the victory at 10:58. No Hawaii trip for Jericho. Phenomenal opening match. Sadly no loser horn for Jericho.
Winner: Montel Vontavious Porter (Pinfall-Jackknife Rollup ***1/4)
-Bob Barker is with Kelly Kelly to shill is book a bit. DX shows up for shenanigans, and let him know what huge fans they are. HBK wants to know how one spays or neuters someone as a way to get Legacy. Barker invites them to spin the wheel. Whatever two superstars come up on the big wheel will be their opponents. The first spin comes up Chris Masters, and HHH comments that even with the hair plugs that's a bad spin. HHH's spin turns up Randy Orton. How convenient. HBK thinks they can make this work, and HHH says they'll be back later for the showcase showdown.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Evan Bourne
Chavo takes control early with a clothesline, and then drives Bourne into the corner. European uppercut connects from Chavo, and then he sets Bourne up on the top rope for a kick to the ribs. Chavo locks in a modified abdominal stretch, but an attempt to slam fails as Bourne counters into a pinning combo for two. Bourne delivers a series of kicks to the hamstrings, and then hits a hurracanrana. Bourne hits a springboard kick to the back of the neck for two. Chavo comes back, but gets hit with a knee to the mouth while seated on the top rope. Bourne goes for a top rope hurracanrana, but Chavo dodges it and Bourne comes crashing to the mat for a two count. Chavo delivers the three amigos, and goes up top for the frog splash. Hornswoggle appears from under the ring with a super soaker to distract Chavo, and Chavo goes after him. That allows Bourne to rollup Chavo for the win at 4:21 to cost Chavo the Corvette. Well it was better than Chavo-Swoggle part 10, but I'm not sure why Bourne needed to win by a fluke rollup to a guy that has went 8 weeks losing to a midget every night. Also, no losing horn.
Winner: Evan Bourne (Pinfall-Rollup **1/2)
Cody Rhodes vs. John Cena
Cody lets us know that first and foremost he is a member of Legacy. He says it doesn't mean that he agree with what Orton did, but Dusty didn't make him a main eventer. Randy Orton did. Main eventer my ass, Cody. Rhodes says he could sit here and tell us what a terrible dad Dusty was, but its not true. He does say however that his dad always put business first, and that's what he's going to do tonight. He's going to make John Cena tap out tonight. Dusty said there is nothing a father wouldn't do for his son, but Cody says there's nothing this son wouldn't do for his career. Cody grabs a side headlock, but walks into an Attitude Adjustment attempt. Cody counters into a DDT attempt, but Cena throws him to the outside as we hit an early break.
Back from commercial with Cena getting a two count, and Cody bailing to the corner for cover. Cena delivers a running bulldog for two, and again Cody heads to the ropes for a breather. Cena delivers a backdrop, and Cody bails to the floor with Cena out after him. Cody sidesteps a charging Cena sending him into the announce table to gain control. Back inside Cody puts the boots to Cena, but gets caught with a belly to belly suplex. Cena charges at Cody and runs into a big boot, and that is followed up by a clothesline from Cody for two. Cody charges into the boot of Cena, but comes back with a rollup. Cody goes for a spinning toehold, but gets kicked off by Cena. Cena goes for the STF, but Cody gets free and delivers a side Russian Legsweep for two. Cody delivers a clothesline which picks up a one count, so he then grabs a modified camel clutch with one of Cena's arms pinned behind his back. Cena powers his way out of that, but Rhodes sidesteps a charge and takes him down with an armbar submission. Cena stands up and now has Rhodes in position for the Attitude Adjustment. Cody slides out and goes for a dropkick which misses. Flying shoulderblocks from Cena sets up a blockbuster. Cena goes to the top for the flying Fame-Asser but that misses, and Cody goes for a figure four. Cena is able to block it, and turn it into the STF. Orton runs in drawing the DQ at 10:36, and after he slides out of an STF attempt Cena turns to Cody and delivers an Attitude Adjustment to send a message to Orton. Didn't care for the finish as there was nothing for Orton to gain by saving Cody from tapping, but all in all nothing terrible.
Winner: John Cena (Disqualification-Ortonference **1/4)
-Hide the divas, Batista is back next week.
-Bob Barker is out for another pricing game, but he needs another player. Fink (complete with Rod Roddy suit) introduces AJ Pierzynski of the Chicago White Sox. Hey, it's a TNA defection! Mixed reaction for AJ as for some reason people in Chicago seem to gravitate towards that horrible North Side team. The prize up for grabs this time is a Wrestlemania Travel Package. AJ bids $1000. IRS bids $2000. Jillian bids $5000. Finally Santino is out, and he's very confused as he looks to the crowd. He finally bids $1200. The actual retail price is $1247.00, so Santino wins. Bob tells Santino he has a chance to win another prize next. It's a new spa, and Santino wants to know if the Bellas come with it. Bob tells him absolutely not, and lets him know that his challenge is a bodyslam match. Santino's opponent in the bodyslam match is of course The Big Show. Who didn't see that coming?
Bodyslam Challenge: Santino Marella vs. The Big Show
Santino's facial expressions absolutely make this worthwhile. Santino goes for a bodyslam which of course fails miserably, and then Show bodyslams him to pick up the win at :14. We finally get the losing horn, and after Barker appears to trip over his lines a bit he announces that Show has another opponent in another bodyslam match, and its of course Mark Henry
Winner: The Big Show (Bodyslam N/R)
Bodyslam Challenge: The Big Show vs. Mark Henry
Henry attacks early sending Show to the floor, but Show is quickly back inside. Show goes for a bodyslam but can't get Henry up. Mark hits a headbutt and then goes for a slam which also fails. Show delivers a series of bodyshots, and then sticks a boot to the kidneys of Henry. Show goes for a slam again, but again can't get him up as Henry fights back. Show delivers a boot, and goes for another slam getting nothing. Henry goes for a slam of his own, but again nothing. Show delivers a shot to the back, and goes for the slam again this time with Henry collapsing on top of him. Henry goes a slam but gets a forearm from Show who then whips Henry into the corner. Show charges into a boot, but comes back with a back elbow. Show again goes for the slam to no avail as Henry delivers a forearm to the back. That allows Henry to hit the bodyslam which mercifully ends this suckfest at 3:21. Andre vs. Studd this wasn't.
Winner: Mark Henry (Bodyslam DUD)
-Josh Mathews is with Bob Barker for more book shilling. Josh asks what the most memorable moment on Price is Right was. He mentions some lady who lost her top on Price is Right and we even get the censored footage. We go through more of his favorite Price is Right moments, as this is basically an interview you'd see on the Today Show or something.
-Trish Stratus will be here next week to Guest Host.
-Cole and Lawler run down the Breaking Point card.
-Chavo comes in to complain about his match to Bob Barker. He tells him he's not leaving here tonight without car. Chavo continues his b---hing, and asks if Bob thinks he's tough because he trained with Chuck Norris. Eventually Chavo plays the Happy Gilmore as he gets a couple weak looking karate chops. That's right, instead of jobbing to the midget, he jobbed to the senior citizen.
D-Generation X vs. "The Masterpiece" Chris Masters & Randy Orton
If this was 1989 it would be like Hogan and Warrior facing Savage and Ron Bass. One of the guys here just doesn't belong. Masters kicks things off with Shawn, and takes control early. Shawn goes for an early sweet chin music, but Masters bails to the floor and we head for break.
We return and Orton is hammering away at Triple H. HHH clotheslines Orton down and tags in HBK. HBK with a neckbreaker on Orton. He slams Orton's head into HHH's big boot and tags HHH back in. HHH tries the pedigree on Orton but Orton escaped. Orton tries the RKO but HHH counters. Big suplex by HHH followed by a knee drop. HHH slams Orton down and tags HBK back in. Orton manages to make the tag to a fresh Chris Masters. Masters immediately goes to work on HBK with punches. Masters with a big back-breaker on HBK. Masters putting the boots to HBK now. Masters tags Orton back in. Orton with a flying knee drop onto HBK's face on the ground. Orton quickly tags Masters back in.
Orton has HBK on the floor as Masters distracts the ref. Orton gets a bunch of cheap shots in and throws HBK back in the ring. Masters tries a pinfall but HBK kicks out at two. Masters working some kicks to the body to HBK in his corner. HHH has the ref busy as he complains, allowing Orton to sneak in some offense behind his back from the apron. Ref turns around and Masters tags Orton back in. Orton gets in HBK's face and watches as he slowly makes it back to his feet. HBK finally gets up and Orton nails him with a dropkick to the face. Orton with a chin-lock on HBK as the crowd cheers him on to escape. HBK firing up now trying to escape. He finally works his way out and is hitting Orton with chops now. Both guys knock each other down and we have a double-count going as the crowd cheers each guy to make the tag. Orton makes the tag to Masters. HBK nips up and makes the tag to HHH. HHH is in like a ball of fire now, cleaning house. HHH hits a spinebuster on Masters and tags HBK in. HBK hits the top rope and comes crashing down with his big flying elbow smash. HBK tuning up for Sweet Chin Music now. Orton tries to distract HBK but HHH comes running after him and they brawl on the floor. HBK turns around in the ring and Masters slaps the Masterlock on him. HBK is fading. HHH hits Masters from behind, which breaks the hold. HBK quickly hits Masters with Sweet Chin Music. Orton tries to interfere. HHH puts Orton in the sharpshooter. HBK puts Masters in the figure-four leg lock. Masters taps out and D-X wins.
Winners: D-Generation X
After The Match:
Legacy hits the ring. D-X brawls with them on the floor. They're brawling all over the arena as Cole reminds us this is what we're going to see at Breaking Point in their submissions count anywhere match. Orton is shown sneaking around trying to hide and avoid D-X. Backstage, we see D-X and Legacy brawling all throughout the halls. Legacy fights their way to the parking lot. DiBiase says he'll get a car. Rhodes guards the outside door with a chair. HBK and HHH come busting out the door, Rhodes throws the chair at them and runs. We see someone yelling "that's my car" as DiBiase and Rhodes take off. Back in the arena, Orton is in the ring by himself. He asks the fans if they saw that - the look of disappointment on the faces of D-X. He tells us to get used to it because this Sunday at Breaking Point, Legacy is going to make D-X submit. He says in the main event, he is going to retain the WWE Championship. He says the name "John Cena" and Cena's music hits immediately. Cena comes out with a dead-serious look on his face. He takes his hat off and hits the ring like a bat out of hell. Cena and Orton brawl to the floor immediately and Cena throws Orton into one of the announce tables. Coming back in the ring, Orton hits Cena with the RKO. Orton goes to the floor and grabs a chair. Orton goes back into the ring and opens the chair. Orton has a sick look in his face as he picks Cena's lifeless body up. He sets up an RKO and runs towards the chair. He RKOs Cena across an unfolded chair. He stands up and looks at him with the crazy eyes. He yells at Cena "this Sunday, you will say I quit!"
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