Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, May 17th, 2010 (USA Network)
Location: The Air Canada Centre in Toronto, Ontario (Canada)
"Yes, sir, we promised you a great main eventů"
Here we go...
We start things off with the opening Raw video package. Pyro follows.
Cole and Lawler introduce us, and here comes Bret Hart.
Bret's got a mic. He talks about how Miz had the nerve to challenge him to a title match tonight. He called up WWE headquarters and told them to book it. He says he's had about a week to think about things, and it's important for him to be remembered the right way. He doesn't want to be remembered as being old and hanging on too long. He's not going to be wrestling anybody tonight. Loud boos from the crowd. He's sorry. BREAK THE WALLS!!!
Here comes Y2J. He asks Bret why. Bret says he explained himself. Jericho asks why he came back to the WWE in the first place. He can try to fool the fans, but he doesn't fool him. He knows the truth. Bret's a shell of his former self. He used to be one of the greatest, but now, he's nothing more than a pathetic has-been, tarnishing his legendary status. He's been around too long. The worst thing of all is that he's become the ultimate hypocrite. Bret doesn't care about closure. He came back for the same reason he left, he's a egodriven phony. That's the same reason he was screwed in Montreal, and he deserved it. Bret can't believe Jericho is calling him a phony, and tells him to look at himself. He remembers Jericho in the dungeon always slacking. Jericho says he looked in the mirror earlier today, and he says he's better than Bret will ever be. He has now become the best there is, was and ever will be. He asks Bret why he came out here tonight. He just had to come out here one last time to stand in the spotlight, to hear all these parasites chant his name one last time, hoping to feel like he still matters. The only person that matters is Chris Jericho. It's must be a terrible feeling for all the fans to be sickened to see what Bret has become. No one wants to see him anymore. Loud "We want Bret" chant. Bret's legacy rests on what happens tonight. Everyone will remember him as the man who went back on his word and was too scared to face Miz. His name means nothing anymore. The Hart name means nothing. His father would be so ashamed. Jericho starts to leave. Bret tells Jericho to tell Miz to get ready to face him. Jericho says he can't fool him. He knows he's going to come to the ring and get disqualified so he can say he at least tried. On behalf of The Miz, he'll make this match No Disqualifications. Bret agrees. He called him a hypocrite. After tonight, he'll be walking around with the United States Championship. This Sunday, Hart Dynasty is going to wipe out Jericho and Miz. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Tonight, Orton and Edge have Pick Your Poison matches. Sponsor time, and there's a WWE Shop.com package. Does the Great Khali hate rental cars? Khali is in a rental car. Hornswaggle rolls up in a Hummer and starts laughing. Khali looks pissed.
YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME!! Edge comes out and has a mic. Wayne Brady, Meat Loaf, Vickie Guerrero. Randy Orton thinks he can RKO people at will. He thinks he can ride into town and RKO him. That's not gonna happen. At Over the Limit... GO!!!
Match 1 : Edge vs Christian
Tie up to start. Edge gets to the ropes. Another tie up, and Edge locks in a rear waist lock. Takedown by Christian, and we're at another stand still. Another tie up, and Edge works the arm. Headlock by Edge. Christian pushes him off, jumps over, ducks under and hits a flying forearm. Pin but only two. Edge slaps Christian. Edge then runs as Christian chases him around the ring. Back in and Edge cuts Christian off. Christian slides through the legs and slaps Edge. He ducks a clothesline and hits a huge right. Edge is set up in the ropes and Christian is standing on him. Christian jumps to the outside but Edge reverses a right. Edge gets nothing on the baseball slide and Christian hits one of his own. Springboard on the inside as Christian takes out Edge with a crossbody on the outside. Christian charges Edge but Edge sidesteps him and sends him into the barricade. Edge is back in the ring and the ref is at 8. He gets back in just in time. Edge starts stomping Christian now. He poses to the crowd. He drives a knee into the gut and starts working on the arm. Christian fights out with the rights but runs into a huge shoulder block. Edge stomps Christian again. He picks him up and wrenches the arm. He drops an elbow to the arm and locks in a keylock armbar. He switches it up to a modified juji gatame. Christian tries to fight out but can't. He counters into a headlock. Edge counters that into a hammerlock. Christian with the elbows now. Edge counters a reverse DDT by charging Christian into the corner. Christian goes for that overhead hanging kick in the corner, but Edge counters it by slamming Christian into the mat. Pin but only two. Edge starts working on the arm in the corner. Christian with a right. And another. And another. He goes to the top now. Edge cuts him off with a right. Superplex coming up. Christian pushes Edge down. TORNADO DDT!! Pin. 1...2...2.94353! Right hands by Christian. Flying forearm smash. Edge hits him with a back elbow in the corner but runs into a huge flapjack. Christian to the middle rope. Missile dropkick connects. Pin but only two. The crowd's getting into it. Edge hits a kick to the gut. Edgeomatic countered into a Killswitch attempt. Edge counters that but Christian flips out of the back suplex. Edgomatic on the ring ropes. Top rope Christian. He misses the diving headbutt. EDECUTION!!! Pin. 1...2...2.90965!!! Christian ducks a boot. Roll up but Edge kicks out at two. Edge ducks a right hand and sends Christian into the turnbuckle. Edge thinking spear. Christian with a boot. Springboard sunset flip. Edge kicks out at two. Edge takes the arm and wrenches it into the mat. Edge thinking spear again. Christian avoids and hits the overhead hanging kick. Christian to the middle rope. Diving back elbow connects. Killswitch coming. Edge counters and slams Christian's arm into the ring post. SPEAR!!! This one's over.
Winner : Edge
-Orton's on the big screen. He tells Edge congradulations. Only, the thing he doens't get is why is Christian out there. Because that is not who he's facing tonight. Undertaker!!!
Match 2 : Edge vs Undertaker
Edge bails out to the apron. The ref starts the count. Edge doesn't get back in the ring, and this one's gonna end via countout.
Winner : Undertaker (DUD)
Christian comes back and throws Edge into the ring. CHOKESLAM!!!
-We get a recap of the Cena/Batista rivalry.
-We're in the back and Maryse is holding a magazine with Trish Stratus on the cover. She doesn't understand why Canadian's think they're celebrities. Maryse is French Canadian. She says Eve is a fake champ. Eve is standing right behind here. Eve pours some stuff on here head. Eve then slaps Maryse and starts slamming her head into a table.
-We're in the back with Buzz Aldrin and his wife. Buzz says the office is very comfortable. Vickie interrupts him, saying it's a pleasure to meet him. Vickie says there's a mistake and that this is their office. Buzz says it's his office. He walks on the moon, and Vickie walks out on GM of Raw. Vickie says it was a mistake. Buzz says he double checked with WW...E................Headquarters. Long pauses in there. Buzz says her replacement will be here next week. She's welcome to stay in his office. Vickie cares about this being here office and her job. Buzz then gets the Bella's to escort Vickie out. Buzz and his wife wave bye.
Match 3 : Mark Henry vs ?
Henry comes out with taped ribs. Batista comes out and hits Henry on the back with a two by four. He then throws him into the ring post. He then charges him into the ringpost. Baw gawd!! Batista takes Henry and whips him into the steel steps. Batista then walks over Mark Henry and gets in the ring. He's yelling for the spotlight. He poses on the ropes. We get a recap of what just happened.
-Cole and Lawler hype the I Quit match this Sunday. They segue to the match between Cena and Sheamus. We get a recap of TLC when Cena jumped fell through a table and Sheamus won the WWE Title.
-Another word from our sponsors. We get a Ted Dibiase mastercard like spoof commercial.
Match 3 : Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil) vs Yoshi Tatsu
Virigil's with him. At Over the Limit, it will be Ted Dibiase vs R-Truth.
Dibiase takes down Tatsu and locks in a front face lock. Tatsu counters with a hammerlock, and Dibiase pushes him into the corner. Elbows by Dibiase. Tatsu counters a hipstoss and flips over, then hitting the hiptoss. Flipping arm drag followed by another. Pin but only two. Dibiase rushes Tatsu into the corner. Tatsu tries to float over Dibiase in the corner, but Dibiase catches him and hits him with a gutbuster. Front suplex onto the ropes by Dibiase. Pin but only two. He now locks in a sleeper hold. Tatsu fights out with the rights but it's not enough. Tatsu with an elbow in the corner, then a boot. Spinning leg kick by Tatsu connects. Tatsu ducks a clothesline and hits the kicks to the ribs. Knees in the corner. Running snapmare and follows up with a kick to the chest. Pin but only two. Dibiase ducks a kick and Dream Street connects. That's all folks.
Winner : Ted Dibiase (This was more to put over Virgil as Dibiase's new manager. Still, not bad as Tatsu looks decent while Ted continues to look strong)
-Dibiase's got a mic. He says the original Virigil isn't ashamed to be the new Virigil. He'll be in his corner at Over the Limit. Now that his trust fund has kicked in, he has no limits and can buy whatever he wants. If he can't buy it, he'll beat it. That's what she said, I guess.
-We get a recap of the Mysterio/Punk rivalry. I like how this one is getting a lot of exposure.
-Cole and King run down the Over the Limit card. We now see Jericho and Miz in the back. Miz is walking and Matthews tries to get a word. Miz grabs the mic and keeps walking. People ask Miz why he want's to face Bret Hart. How many times can people beat a national hero. You think it'd be a national holiday up there. People are excited about Bret wrestling. But do you know who's most excited. Me (meaning Miz, not actually me). And here comes Miz to the ring. Bret Hart cost him the Unified Tag Team Championships. Tonight, it's going to cost him so much more. He's not only going to beat him, he's going to humiliate him to the point where he irradicates his family name and spits on the Hart heritage. In a few moments, there's going to be a match in here. Bret's going to be screaming in pain. He's going to be calling for help from his very own family. He's going to make him tap out to the Sharpshooter. "BECAUSE I'M THE MIZ. AND I'M AWESOME"!!
Match 4 : The Miz(C) vs Bret Hart - No Disqualifications match - United States Championship
And here comes Bret to a huge reaction.
The bell rings and Miz bails out. He grabs a mic. He forgot to tell Bret, he doesn't trust him. He knows the Hart Dynasty is going to be coming out, so he payed a couple guys to take care of them if they come out. If it's the APA I'll mark out. No, it's Vladimir Kozlov and William Regal. HERE COME THE HARTS!! Kozlov and Regal meet them though and take it to them as they go up the ramp. Here comes Jericho. Miz and Jericho are in the ring now. Bret's cornered. Natalya gets in the ring.
Natalya slaps Jericho. Bret hits Miz with a right. Jericho then hits him from behind. David Hart Smith is back and starts taking out Jericho. He clotheslines him over the top. Miz hits David with a forearm. We're now down to Miz/Hart. Miz goes to lock Bret in the Sharpshooter. Tyson Kidd hits Miz with a springboard dropkick. David's back in the ring. HART ATTACK!! Bret's locking in the Sharpshooter. It's in!! MIZ TAPS!! WTF!!!
Winner : Bret Hart (If someone told me a decade ago that Scott Hall, Kevin Nash and Bret Hart would all be champions in the year 2010, I never would've believed it. Mainly because it's f--king stupid)
-The Hart Dynasty celebrates in the middle of the ring.
-Wrestlemania promo follows.
-Cole and Lawler hype up the Money in the Bank PPV. They then hype up the Cena/Sheamus match. We get a recap of Cena/Barrett in the Beat the Clock match.
-Word from our sponsers highlights Santino Marella. Austin Beer Bath FTW. He's the most entertaining man in the world. He doesn't always watch sport's entertainment, but when he does, he makes sure it's Monday Night Raw. Awesome.
-Wait, Smackdown diva's? Where am I? Both Michelle and Layla have Women's Championship's around their waists. What's going on here? This is madness.
Match 5 : Team Laycool (Michelle McCool and Women's Champion Layla) and Maryse vs The Bella's and Diva's Champion Eve Torres
The crowd is going bonkers for Maryse. At Over the Limit, it'll be Maryse vs Eve for the title.
Eve and Maryse go at it. Their partners pull them apart. Layla and Eve start things off. Headlock by Layla. Eve counters out but gets shoulderblocked. Takedown by Layla and hits the jacknife cover. ANGLE SLAM BY EVE!!! Pin but only two. Knee by Layla but Eve hits the neckbreaker. Pin but only two. Tag to one of the Bella's, I'm gonna call her Brie. Pin by Layla. Brie tries to float over but gets tossed on the apron. Michelle hits her with a boot. Michelle gets the tag and throws her into the barricade. Back in the ring now as Michelle is dropping the knees. Layla gets the tag but misses a leg drop. Michelle gets the tag and kncoks Eve of the apron. Nikki gets the tag but thrown into the ring by Michelle. Modifired spear by Nikki. Multiple dropkicks follow. Monkey flip. Basement dropkick. Neckbreaker. How many moves can you hit in under 30 seconds? Pin but only two. Nikki misses a crossbody off the second rope. Here comes Maryse. French Kiss. Pin and that's all. Crowd loves it. I don't.
Winners : Maryse and Team Laycool (Silly diva's, thinking they can wrestle a good match. This was better than most diva's matches, but not by much)
-Maryse and Eve try to brawl after. The ref holds Maryse back.
-Josh Matthews is with John Cena in the back. Cena's decisions have been called into question as of late. Cena says the critics job is to criticize. He respects their rights but won't give them his time. He wants to talk to his fans. The CENATION. They have tasted victory and felt the agony of defeat. He has never made a promise and not delivered. Believe me, we know. Why the match against Sheamus? So he can make sure he's not an obstacle at Over the Limit. He'll take him out tonight. Why the I Quit match? This is the last time they will meet. He wants no dispute on who the best man really is. If Batista can get John to say I Quit, he doesn't deserve to be champion. The champ doesn't deserve to be a quitter. He doesn't underestimate Batista. The scar on his neck reminds him of his viciousness. Through all he has done, Batista has failed to get Cena to quit. He promises he will not quit. At Over the Limit, Batista will be the quiter, and the champ will be here.
Match 6 : Randy Orton vs Jack Swagger
Take down by Swagger to start. He lets Orton go. Tie up and Swagger goes for another take down. Orton counters into one of his own, then swiping a knee into the side of Swagger's head. Swagger with a kick to the gut and he charges Orton into the corner. Orton counters an irish whip into the inverted back to back backbreaker. Orton now stomping Swagger all over. Orton misses a huge knee drop and that gives Swagger the opening to kill Orton with a clothesline. Sleeper hold locked in by Swagger now. Orton fights out with the rights, but it's not enough. Elbow in the corner by Orton. Huge clothesline follows and another. Swagger bails out. Orton follows, but gets his head slammed into the table. Back in the ring as Orton's looking for that rope hung DDT. Swagger counters into a huge slam. Running Vader Bomb connects. And another. Swagger=Awesomeness. Orton's on the outside getting counted out. He gets on the apron but Swagger knocks him into the announce table. Swagger now stomping Orton on the outside. Swagger rolls Orton back into the ring. Pin but only two. Another sleeper by Swagger locked in. Orton fights out with the rights but it's not enough as he gets planted with a belly to belly suplex. Running Vader Bomb coming up, but Orton gets up and hits Swagger with a kick on the way down. Huge clothesline by Orton, another. Vintage scoop slam. Orton looking for that rope hung DDT now. It connects. VINTAGE! Orton's going crazy. Edge comes out, but Orton meets him with the rights.
Winner : Randy Orton via disqualification (Not bad. Their other two matches were better, but there was nothing wrong with this. Other than Swagger eating that totally unnecessary RKO in the end, but he can regain his heat at Over the Limit, so I'll let it fly)
Edge counters an RKO but Orton hits one on Swagger instead. SPEAR TO ORTON!!!
-Promo for NXT, and who will be the next one eliminated.
Over the Limit card
The Hart Dynasty(C) vs Chris Jericho and The Miz - Unified Tag Team Championships
CM Punk vs Rey Mysterio - Hair vs Mask match
Jack Swagger(C) vs Big Show - World Heavyweight Championship
Edge vs Randy Orton
John Cena(C) vs Batista - I Quit match - WWE Championship
-And the announcer guy (I forget his name) introduces Buzz Aldrin.
Buzz comes out and says what a great night it is. He's been having a wonderful time. Randy and Jack on the mat, what's better than that. He's been working on making the space program much better. Orbits between Earth and Mars. The president has a new program. We need new rockets and spacecrafts. Canada has done some wonderful things. Canada built the landing gear on the spacecraft that landed on the moon. How bout that? Monday Night Raw! (I'm saying a lot of this word for word mind you).
Here comes Zack Ryder with Alica Fox. He tells Buzz that the Canadian's science peaked when the invented Mapple Syrup. He said the radio told him that he didn't land on the moon. Zack says some other stuff that I didn't catch. Buzz says the last guy who said they staged the moon landing, he punched him in the face. We now see a video of some guy getting in Buzz's face, only to eat a right hand. I'm pretty sure that was real too. Buzz says he's not going to pounce him. Lawler can't stop laughing.
And here comes Evan Bourne with Gail Kim. Buzz says he's made a match, and just starts rambling on. Whatever.
Match 7 : Evan Bourne and Gail Kim vs Zack Ryder and Alicia Fox
Ryder and Bourne with a tie up to start. Huge dropkick by Bourne and he kicks Ryder in the legs. Knee by Ryder. Bourne with a sunset flip, but Ryder kicks out. Swinging neckbreaker by Ryder. Bourne fights back. He counters the Rough Rider into a roll up. Alice runs in but Gail takes her down. Gail with that crossbody in the corner. Knee in the corner by Bourne. Gail hits Alicia with a missile dropkick. Gail knocks Ryder off the apron. Ryder pulls down the ropes, sending Gail to the outside. Pin on the inside, but Gail kicks out. Northern lights suplex by Alicia, and Gail kicks out of the pin at two. Jawbreaker by Gail and here coems Ryder. Bourne with a huge kick and follows up with a hurricanrana. Spinning kick by Bourne. Knee to the face. To the top goes Bourne, but Alicia pushes Ryder to the outside. Crossbody by Bourne to Ryder. Gail hits Alicia with the Eat Defeat, and this one's over.
Winners : Evan Bourne and Alicia Fox (Too short to be anything great, but it was still good for what it was. Bourne hit a lot of cool moves, Ryder kept up, and the Diva's were just sort of there. Not that there's anything wrong with that)
Bourne, Gail and Buzz celebrate in the ring afterwards. Buzz does the moonwalk. Take that for what you will.
-Recap of the Swagger/Big Show rivalry.
-Next week, Jon Lovitz hosts.
-Can going to WWE shop.com get you great deals on DVD's. Does Goldust make an awkward blind date? Goldust is on a date with some random girl, asking if he can call her. She says no. He asks if he can breathe on her. She says no. Too late. Uh...weird.
Match 8 : Sheamus vs WWE Champion John Cena
We go to the ring for tonight's main event and out comes Sheamus. Out next comes the WWE Champion John Cena, to a mixed reaction from the crowd. The bell rings and here we go. They go at it and Sheamus takes it to the corner. Sheamus beats Cena down and stomps away. Cena comes right back with right hands in the corner and a running elbow. They go to the floor and Cena rams Sheamus into the steps twice.
Sheamus reverses this time and sends Cena into the fan barrier. Sheamus brings Cena back in the ring and covers him for a 2 count. Sheamus throws Cena into the corner and hits him in the back for another 2 count. Cena comes back with a suplex and a clothesline. Cena throws Sheamus into the corner and the ringpost. Sheamus falls out to the floor. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment but Sheamus blocks it and drops Cena. 2 count by Sheamus. Cena catches Sheamus with a big sideslam now. Rights and lefts by Cena, knocking Sheamus down. Another big right from Cena. Cena runs into an elbow by Sheamus in the corner and goes down. Sheamus with a big knee to the jaw that sends Cena off the apron and to the floor.
Cena tries coming back in the ring but Sheamus hits another knee to the head, sending Cena back out to the floor. Sheamus misses the knee this time and Cena comes back in swinging. Cena goes for the bulldog but Sheamus counters and pushes Cena off. Sheamus kicks Cena back out to the floor. Sheamus comes out and slams Cena's head into the announcers table. Sheamus with a 2 count in the ring. Sheamus drops another knee for another 2 count. Sheamus poses and taunts the fans now while Cena tries to recover. Sheamus with a big shot to Cena's chest on the apron. Cena counters a move and hits several flying shoulderblocks. Cena with the big slam and the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment but Sheamus grabs the ropes and holds on. Cena dumps Sheamus over the top rope and to the floor. Cena turns right around to a spinebuster from Batista and the ref calls for the match.
Winner by DQ: John Cena
- Batista continues the attack on Cena with another spinebuster. The referee tries to stop Batista but he doesn't listen. Batista hits a third spinebuster on Cena. Batista goes for the Batista Bomb but stops and puts on a submission move similar to Cena's STF. Batista yells at Cena to say he quits. Cena screams but won't quit. RAW goes off the air with Cena still in the hold and Batista yelling at him.
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