WWE RAW Results (8/30) - 900th RAW, Bret Hart & More!
-Did You Know, Jersey Shore will reach it's 900th episode in 2083, and Snooki will be 83 years old at that time. I'm actually more curious as to who in the f--k thought that was interesting.
-We're shown highlights of the January 4th episode of Raw, where Shawn and Bret made amends.
Match 4: Bret Hart vs Undertaker
Both guys get ready to go, but here comes Wade Barrett. He says this match is not going to happen. People don't want to talk about two legends, they want to talk about the future, and the future is Nexus. He said he was going to do something unforgettable. And he's going to do that by taking out Taker. He runs in and attacks Taker. Big mistake. Big boot by Taker. Taker clotheslines him over the top. Lights out. They come back on and Kane is in the ring. Both guys trade rights now. Kane with the upper hand. Goozle by Taker, and the lights have gone back out. They're back on, and Kane is gone. And here comes the Nexus. They surround the ring. Taker goes after Tarver and the rest of them. Taker's in control. He goozles Barrett, but the lights have gone back out again. They turn back on, and Barrett has Taker on his shoulders. Wasteland by Barrett. Kane stands on the ramp watching on. They position Taker in the corner. Gabriel to the top. 450! Taker tries to sit up, but can't. Kane laughs at the top of the ramp as we head to commercial.
-We get a recap of the events that just occurred.
-And here comes Jack Swagger. All hail a returning, conquering, all American hero. When he left Raw, he was an all American American. Now he returns a former world champion. He can understand why Johnny Damon wouldn't want to come back to Boston, but he has no problem being a little swagger back to Raw. And here comes Evan Bourne.
Match 4: Jack Swagger vs Evan Bourne
Kick by Swagger, and he goes on the attack with clubbing blows. Swagger throws Bourne into the turnbuckle. Kick to the leg by Bourne, and some more. But here comes Albert Del Rio. In the limo. He's beeping the horn like crazy. His announcer introduces him. The match is still going on though. Old school Randy Orton like pyro goes off on the stage. Swagger shoulder blocking Bourne in the corner. Bourne goes for the running powerslam, but Bourne slides out the back. Spin kick by Bourne. He heads up to the top. AIR BOURNE MISSES! Swagger chop blocks the leg. Ankle Lock applied. Bourne has no choice but to tap.
Winner: Jack Swagger (Really unncessary, but it did give Swagger a win while getting Rio some on screen air time on Raw, so it did accomplish some stuff. Still, there was literally nothing to the match other than the angle)
Alberto Del Rio introduces himself. He says next to me, the little kiwaya Rey Mysterio isn't going to be here tonight. In fact, the only place you can see Rey is in the hospital. What he did to Rey last weekk as phenomenal. Incredible. He's going to be honest though, he's not completely happy. The audience from Raw didn't see it though. So this is what he's going to do. He's going to recreate that magic moment, just for us. Right here, right now, but with a different kiwaya. He grabs a chair and runs into the ring. He puts Bourne in the juji gatame. Bourne starts tapping like a mad man. Rio releases the hold and kicks Bourne in the back. He brings the chair to the outside with Bourne. He locks Bourne's arm in the chair, and here comes Mark Henry to the rescue. Rio goes to hit Henry with the chair, but Henry runs right through it. Rio runs back up the ramp.