TNA iMPACT! Recap
Eric Bischoff Backstage with Dixie's Attorney
Short and sweet to have Eric basically explain to Dixie's attorney Guy Blade without addressing it publicly why Dixie can't fire him or Hogan following them revealing to be the "they" due to he and Hogan control the majority share of TNA.
Hulk Hogan & Eric Bischoff in-ring promo
Hogan came out miming the guitar on his crutches which was funny, there were boo's around the iMPACT! Zone but big "Hogan" chants. Eric introduced us to him mentor, his brother and the man who made this industry famous - Hulk Hogan. Finally, Hogan sucks chants. It's working so far. Hogan asked where's "the no good Dixie Carter" and said they took what is rightfully theirs. He said there was a method to their madness and that Dixie conned Hogan to come down to TNA. Way to put over the company by basically saying he didn't want to come of his own accord.
Bischoff got on the mic and said nobody saw it coming and proceeded to walk us through the master plan. Saying it started with Abyss, when people couldn't understand why Abyss would turn on Hogan after the Hulkster took Abyss under his ring he then introduced Abyss as a member of Team Hogan. Abyss came out carrying his beloved Janice. Abyss told Hogan and Bischoff and said he was their soldier and he will knock down anyone who stands their way. Hogan told him it was their destiny and he would live forever as he was immortal. Bischoff introduced Jeff Jarrett claiming to have utter respect for this man. Jarrett walked to the ring as Mike Tenay said seeing Jarrett join this group was the most disappointed part of the entire thing. Jarrett blamed Dixie for stealing TNA from him using her Daddy's money and now that he's with Hogan everybody has to play by their rules.
He was cut off by Ric Flair's music who came out with the other members of Fortune. Flair told Hogan that in his absence that TNA was run by Fortune and huge Fortune chants broke out in the iMPACT! Zone. He told Hogan he hated his guts and wanted him one on one, Flair approached Hogan and as it looked like they would brawl, the two hugged and said that both joined with a common goal of taking out Dixie Carter.
Bischoff got on the mic and introduced the new TNA Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy. Hardy came out without face paint and without his dancing, complete opposite of his usual self. He told the world that he didn't sell out he sold in and he blames the fans for his pain and anger after destroying his body for them and that the New Regime are immortal and will live forever. At this point Kevin Nash & Sting were shown backstage watching the show, Hogan & Bischoff persuaded them to come to the ring and "join the party".
We go to break and when we come back Sting & Nash are out and Bischoff says they need both of them on the team. Nash says its the perfect fit for him as his whole career had been about money and he didn't care about anybody, however as he got older he got wiser, he claims that everybody in the back who he would of taken every dollar from in the past they are now his friends and he'll pass and that if they want to run the company into the ground they can do it without him. Sting took over and said he came here 5 years ago because he loves TNA and said he's not gonna let history repeat itself and that his answer was no. Both Sting and Nash left the ring as Bischoff called them nuts and said its always going to be about money and power and if they realize that they know where to find them.
It was a strong opening segment that probably should have ended after Hardy finished talking. The Nash & Sting part seems irrelevant, but we'll see. Tenay and Tazz called the group "Immortal".
Pope backstage with Sting & Nash
Pope gave out to Sting & Nash for walking away from money and said he's still making money and will continue to fight for this company. Dixie approached Nash & Sting and asked them to stay but both men just walked out.
Dixie with Hogan & Bischoff
Dixie wanted Hogan to tell her he screwed her and Hogan confirmed this because from Day 1 he'd be the happiest he'd ever been and that they changed the wrestling business but that didn't happen so he took the company back. He had her security team escort her away. We then saw a shot of JWoWW arriving at the iMPACT! Zone.
TNA Knockouts Championship
Tara © vs. Madison Raye
Madison said she had a plan to become a 3 time Knockouts Champion but because of Tara that didn't happen even though Tara has Madison to thank for having a job and told her to come out and give her a title shot. Tara came out as the new TNA Knockouts Champion. Tara agreed to a title match and lay down and Madison pinned her for the title win.
Madison ran around the ring celebrating as Tara looked on. Mickie James interrupted and told Madison she was coming for the Knockouts Championship and there is no better time than right now. Madison backed off and threw Tara to Mickie who kicked her out of the ring, Madison and Tara headed for the back.
No idea why they didn't just put the belt on Madison on Sunday and have Tara lay down for her then? Pretty bad segment when at one time the Knockouts division used to be the highest rated in TNA its now just a mirror image of the WWE Diva's. It wasn't a shame to retire the Women's title as the stuff women are doing in all wrestling is pretty shameful right now. More wrestlers less models. Hopefully Mickie will change that.
JWoWW backstage with Beautiful People
JWoWW came into the Beautiful People while they were getting their make up done and asked where to find Cookie. They all began looking through the backstage area and found Eric Young who asked "Bow-Wow" to give him her herby handcocks on his chest? I'm not sure if that's right, I'm from Ireland and have no idea what this JWoWW thing is about! Young asked her was he a guerilla or he could be a chimp. He then introduced them to Orlando Jordan and said he wanted to put his lolipop in her mouth. She stood on it and they left. Orlando shouted that Jersey Shore sucks as Young looked on in amazement. Well after that I'm not going checking Jersey Shore out. This was horrible.
Kurt Angle / Jeff Jarrett Promo
Back to the iMPACT! Zone and we saw Kurt Angle walking to the ring holding his ribs. No music or anything. Big Angle chants in the iMPACT! Zone. Angle got on the mic and said he came here a little late as he was uninvited and before he officially makes his statement of retirement he'd like to clear a few things up. He said for the past 6 month he busted his ass and at for Bound For Glory he dislocated his ribs, he reinjured his neck and got stitches in his eye and he just wants to know why Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff screwed him last Sunday. He said he's a little confused as he didn't win the TNA Heavyweight Title at Bound For Glory but he wasn't pinned either so he's in a dilemma. This brought out Jeff Jarrett, the founder told Kurt there's no dilemma because seen as Kurt didn't win the title he shouldn't wrestle anymore, he never heard Kurt say if he didn't get pinned or got screwed. He can't believe that Kurt is making excuses, Jarrett called him the Olympic Gold Medalist, the former World Champion, the father, the husband then corrected himself and said "Well, the ex-husband". Classic line, storyline or not I'd kill him if I was Kurt. He said Kurt made his life hell when he brought him into TNA. Side note: Kurt's beard is looking pretty awesome, as a beard-wearing I should know.
Kurt said he can have that slut and asked how did he make Jeff's life a living hell? He asked was it by putting TNA on the map and talking up TNA every chance he had or by teaching the rookies everything he knew or was it because after Kurt came in it wasn't all about Jarrett. He then asked how many TNA title's Jeff wore before Kurt arrived claiming that Jeff held everybody down in TNA at his own expense but he couldn't hold down Kurt Angle. Jarrett told him that it's nothing to do with that and that he sold his soul to the devil to get back his company and that after taking everything he could from Kurt and taking his career was the final nail in the coffin. Kurt went after Jarrett and then Gunner & Murphy attacked him as he went up the ramp. Jarrett joined in on the attack as Angle was handcuffed. Jarrett threw Angle headfirst into the side of the stage, he's handcuffed he couldn't block it. Taz came down and told Jarrett to back off.
I liked it, the personal touch between Jarrett & Angle works and Jarrett is a credible wrestler again now that he's heel. This attack on Angle last week wouldn't of been the same
Samoa Joe Talks
Joe said he doesn't make mistakes with people he trusts and Jarrett made mistakes in making Joe the guy he wanted to take out everybody in his path and now Jarrett has to go to sleep knowing that that same person is looking for him. I don't like Samoa Joe but that was a nice promo. Short but didn't need to be long it was well delivered and made sense. Good work out of Joe.
Abyss vs Samoa Joe
About time for a match, we're well over an hour into iMPACT! and all we've had is 3 seconds of wrestling and I use that term ever so lightly. Joe came in with his game face on and took out Abyss, very early on it was clear that Joe is best put against smaller guys, he can work with smaller guys not with bigger guys who find it hard to work. Abyss drove Joe down with a Chokeslam and went to ringside to get a steel chair as he turned around Joe hit Abyss with a suicide dive. Both men got to their feet and Abyss attacked Abyss with the bell as the referee called for the bell. Joe was busted open hard. Abyss continued the attack with lefts and rights before throwing him into the ring and beat him down in the corner. Rob Van Dam's music hit and he ran down to the ring, Abyss got out of the ring and grabbed Janice, RVD checked on Joe as Abyss retreated to the back. So in over an hour we've now had about a minute of matches, the first wasn't a match and just a pin-fall the second had two moves and a disqualification. Great job TNA at putting on a wrestling event.
Rob Van Dam Promo
Joe left the ring and Van Dam grabbed the mic and immediately called out Jeff Hardy and said he owed everybody an explanation but they are moving past that as Jeff had his respect, confidence and support. Jeff Hardy appeared on the video screen from backstage saying that friendship in this business is an illusion and you draw your opponents close and devour them just like he did to RVD. He called himself the new anti-christ of professional wrestling and Van Dam wants him but then again don't they all. At this time Bischoff's music played as he walked out and said if RVD wants a shot at Jeff Hardy for the World Title then he has to defeat Mr. Anderson as the winner will face Jeff Hardy for the title at Turning Point next month.
Bischoff / Tessmacher / Mr. Anderson Backstage
Bischoff told Miss Tessmacher that due to her sharing information with The Pope & Kevin Nash he can't trust her anymore so she better put on some boots and wrestle or she's out of TNA. Mr. Anderson then approached Bischoff and when shaking his hand began squeezing it as he told Eric that he never thought he'd meet a bigger asshole but he proved him wrong and that Eric won't win the war.
Pope & Williams start of the 5-on-1 handicap match, Pope got the upper hand until Williams tagged out for Kaz, Kaz got in and got tossed around by Pope also. Kaz tagged in TV Champion AJ Styles and outside the ring Flair & Morgan attacked the Pope and rolled him in for Styles to make the pin only to lift Pope's shoulders up himself before the 3. AJ tagged in Roode who went to town on Pope in the corner and tagged in Storm, Beer Money hit the double suplex and Fortune continued the trend of quick tags bringing Kaz back in and Kaz knocked Pope down for the pin but only got a 2, he then whipped Pope into the corner and he took out the remaining members of Fortune on the apron and AJ came back in to hit the overhead kick only to miss and hit Kaz instead. Pope rolled up Kaz and got a near fall and as referee Earl Hebner got AJ out of the ring, Beer Money ran in and attacked Pope allowing Kaz to get the pin for the 3 count. First proper match of the night and my god so many things wrong with it. Why weren't Fortune DQ'd for the Flair/Morgan attack outside. If they just joined Hogan and need to look strong how come all 5 of Fortune looked very average against one man who was smaller than 4 of the men in the ring? Terrible terrible booking.
The Shore / JWoWW
I don't know too much about Jersey Shore but as far as I can gather Jersey Shore is pretty hot in the States right now so they created these characters to bounce off the TV show, am I right? If that's the case, last time Russo did this it was when 70s Show was huge and he created Mike Awesone's That 70s Guy gimmick. So is this the same? Robbie E & Cookie said that this is on the same time as Jersey Shore, so Jersey Shore fans will watch JWoWW on Jersey Shore instead of iMPACT! so this segment is seriously redundant. JWoWW came out and Cookie told her to crawl back into the hole she crawled out of. JWoWW threw her to the ground and slapped her for a while. This is a wrestling show. It actually upsets me.
Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson - #1 Contender Match
Mr. Anderson pushed away the microphone on the way down the ramp, focused on the match. RVD got most of the offense in the early going hitting some of his known spots and getting a few unsuccessful pin attempts on Anderson. Van Dam hit a nice moonsault off the apron on the outside and rolled Anderson in the ring for the 5-Star Frog Splash but Anderson knocked him down and then Van Dam threw him off only for Anderson to knock him down again, Anderson hit a superplex off the top rope and pinned only for a two. Anderson took his turn to get some shots in, knocking RVD down with an elbow, again only for a 2 count. Anderson dragged Van Dam out of the corner the hardway but Van Dam began to fight back with some rights and lefts and then a clothesline and a completely botched superkick, the camera angle didn't help. You'd think having taped this 3 night ago they could of used a less direct camera angle. Van Dam went for the Rolling Thunder but Anderson picked him up for the Green Bay Plunge, but Van Dam powered out and dropped Anderson with a bodyslam followed by a split-legged moonsault and a pin but Anderson had enough to kick out.
Anderson got up and this time hit the Green Bay Plunge but Van Dam got his shoulder up before the three, Anderson missed the Kenton Bomb (does he still call it that?) from the top after RVD rolled out of the way and went to the top for the frog splash but last second Anderson got the knees up into Van Dam's mid section. Bischoff came down the ramp and called over Brian Hebner and told Hebnar to follow him out of the ring and out of the arena. Jeff Hardy's music hit and he came out with a steel chair laying out both men with shots to the back, he then locked Anderson's arm in the chair and hit a Twist Of Fate on Van Dam onto the chair as Anderson rolled out of the ring in pain, the show ended with Jeff Hardy standing tall over both men.
So another false finish to end the show? Glad the finish wasn't overbooked and just featured Hardy but 4 matches, 1 wasn't even a match two ended in no contests and the only proper match had 5 men look weak in defeating one smaller guy. That's all the wrestling TNA had for us this week! With that said, I'm intrigued by this Immortal / New Regime angle and am looking forward to next weeks iMPACT!, overall its the only good thing in TNA, the rest of the show I'd gladly forget by the time I wake up tomorrow.
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