By Lenton Lees & Marc Middleton (of ringsidenews.com)
"Yes sir, we promise you John Cena in 5-10 segments here tonight…"
-Raw Opening video.
Preview for Miz/Edge and Diva's Championship match. Wo' boy!
Edge's music hits and out he comes in fighting gear! Edge says he doesn't feel like waiting and throws off his shirt. His tummy is all bandaged up, looks like someone hurt him to the "corre", heh heh. Edge talked about things he doesn't like waiting for. He is sick of waiting for Michael Cole to quit being a tool, he says. Michael Cole chimes in with, "Yeah, glad you're back."
Edge tells Miz to get down to the ring but we get an e-mail! The Anonymous Raw GM hasn't forgotten about the disrespect Edge has shown him in a fast. We are apparently going to get a four-man mini-royal rumble. Winner will get to be #40 in the Royal Rumble. Well, that's not fair at all!
Everyone get's thrown out quickly, Edge wins. At least Edge got to bury some of the leaders of our "youth movement" in WWE. That was ridiculous.
Edge goes out of the ring preparing to destroy the laptop when The Nexus music hits. Out comes the CM Punk led Nexus, with Mason Ryan looking fresh! CM Punk paces a bit, diddle-daddling with the microphone. CM Punk says that in this world only the strong survive because they evolve. CM Punk says he saw the Royal Rumble expand so the New Nexus had to evolve and that last week they expanded with the inclusion of this man, Mason Ryan. Mason looks like a nervous kitten lost in New York City. Mason takes the mic. And only has one thing to say… "Faith."
Punk says unlike John Cena & The Corre that their faith will be rewarded Sunday Night. The rewards will be CM Punk with headline WrestleMania and the New Nexus will be the most powerful group in WW-
A strange theme begins to play and out comes The Corre. That music is dreadful. Sounds like bad Christian Rock. Wade Barrett says The Corre isn't about brainwashing, it's about four equals. Ezekial (looking even more nervous than Mason Ryan) says that at the Royal Rumble each member will try to win it for themselves but they will make sure they eliminate CM Punk.
The Raw GM says he is going to make a very special match, it'll be Wade Barrett vs. CM Punk. The loser will see his entire group (including leader) banned from the Royal Rumble! Oh, and also John Cena will be special referee! High stake match-up, should be a good 'en!
-Commercial Break. I would like to take this time and let everyone know that I want to play some Smackdown vs. Raw 2011 online tomorrow. I have a PS3, username "latinlenny", message me up and let's play!
John Morrison & Mark Henry vs. King Sheamus & Alberto Del Rio
Back from the break and out comes John Morrison followed by his partner Mark Henry. Out next comes Sheamus. Ricardo Rodriguez begins speaking next from ringside and introduces Alberto Del Rio. Del Rio comes driving into the arena.
Del Rio and Morrison start the match off, going to the corner with Del Rio in control. Del Rio works Morrison over and tags in Sheamus. Sheamus goes to slam Morrison in the corner but gets countered. Morrison with a head scissors and a dropkick for a 2-count. Del Rio comes in and Morrison unloads on him as well. Sheamus and Del Rio retreat to the floor as Henry and Morrison look on from the ring. Back to commercial.
Back from the break and Del Rio has control over Morrison. Del Rio stomps away on Morrison's back and covers for 2. Morrison goes for a tag but Del Rio stops him and tags in Sheamus. We see Michael Tarver watching the match backstage on a monitor. Sheamus clotheslines Morrison and shows off for the crowd. Sheamus continues to work over Morrison and gets another 2-count. Sheamus goes for the big kick but Morrison ducks it. Morrison drops Sheamus with a kick to the jaw.
Henry and Del Rio get tagged in at the same time. Henry lays Del Rio out with headbutts and a big splash. 2-count by Henry as Sheamus breaks up the pin. Henry drops Sheamus with a headbutt. Henry clotheslines Del Rio but Sheamus attacks. Morrison comes in and takes Sheamus out of the ring. Del Rio comes back in and locks on the armbar for the win on Henry.
Winners: Alberto Del Rio and Sheamus
Backstage we see Melina/Natalya heading to the ring!
WWE Divas Title Match: Melina vs. Natalya
Back from the break and out comes Melina to the ring first. Her opponent WWE Divas Champion Natalya is out next. The bell rings and they lock up, going into the ropes. Melina charges Natalya and knocks her out of the ring. Melina brings it back in the ring and goes to work, slamming Natalya's face into the mat. Melina with a 2-count.
Melina applies a pretzel like move on Natalya's back. Natalya powers up to her feet and rams Melina back into the corner. They go at it until Natalya locks on the Sharpshooter. Melina won't tap so Natalya pulls way back on the hold and makes her tap for the win. Badass
Out come LayCool. Michelle & Layla throw a few fat jokes at Natalya (awww) then announce they will get their title re-match at Royal Rumble. Natalya looks very concerned and we fade away…
We go backstage and Otunga is doubting that CM Punk will succeed tonight. Punk shows up and reminds the group how important faith is and how CM Punk MUST win and WILL win at the Royal Rumble. They drop to a knee and everyone puts their fist together.
We switch to John Cena who assures us he will throw every member of The New Nexus out of the ring at the Rumble. He begins to talk about The Corre, and apparently the second R stands for rectum, according to our beloved Cena… yep, rectum.
Miz & Alex show up, they tell Cena he better hope he loses, so he wont have to fight The Miz. Cena tells them Orton will beat Miz anyways and that they both need to take a shower, they smell like sewage… yep, a smelly joke. That joke really stunk. (lol, I'm hilarious!) Cena heads off, Miz & Alex introduce a video recapping their attack on Orton last week.
We come back and Michael Cole is yelling about how Miz deserves respect because he is awesome. Lawler says, "I think you must be hanging around The Miz because you stink too!" Oh my… Cole stands up and is proclaiming how great The Miz is, King keeps telling Cole to sit down and shut-up. Makes me laugh, Jerry Lawler use to stand-up when heels would enter and Jim Ross would tell him to sit down and shut-up. Reminds me of a better time…
The Miz vs. Edge
Ziggler joins commentary as we get ready to go. The bell rings and Edge takes control early on, working Miz over in the corner. Miz fires back and they return to locking up. Back and forth action until Edge clotheslines Miz over the ropes and to the floor. We go to commercial.
Back from the break and Edge covers Miz for a 2-count. Miz runs the ropes and drops Edge with a knee to the gut. Miz stomps away on Edge now and kicks him in the head for a 2-count. More back and forth action. Edge goes for a spear but Miz rolls out of the ring. Edge follows and they go at it. Edge counters Miz and tosses him into the fan barrier. Edge brings it back in the ring and goes up top. Miz meets him with right hands. Miz goes for a superplex but Edge fights him. Edge knocks Miz back into the ring and hits a big crossbody for a 2-count.
Back from the break and Miz lands a 2-count on Edge. Miz applies a bodyscissors on Edge in the middle of the ring. More back and forth action. Edge makes a comeback and gets a 2-count on Miz. Miz goes for the clothesline in the corner but Edge dodges it. Edge rolls Miz up for a 2-count. Riley interferes and lures Edge out to the floor. Edge comes in and Miz rolls him up for a quick 2 count. Edge ducks a right hand from Miz and knocks Riley from the apron to the barrier. Edge hits the big DDT on Miz. Edge goes for a spear but Dolph Ziggler pulls him by his feet. Dolph comes in the ring and begins to attack but Randy Orton runs down and goes crazy. Orton powerslams Ziggler and chases Miz outside of the ring. Orton catches Miz and unloads with right hands and an uppercut. Back in the ring and Orton hits the RKO on Riley and Ziggler. Miz takes out Orton with a briefcase shot to the leg. Miz retreats to the stage with his belt.
Backstage Wade Barrett discusses how The Corre is about being equal and not caring so much about individual goals like Wade winning the belt. Josh asks if they were responsible for Teddy Longs attack, and Wade says he wouldn't justify that with an answer, he just wishes him a speedy recovery!
We go to the ring where The Bella Twins are with WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan. Out next come their opponents Ted DiBiase, Maryse and Alicia Fox. Ted and Bryan start things out. Bryan takes Ted down first after some back and forth action. Maryse slaps Ted's back and tags herself in. Brie comes in and goes at it with Maryse. Nikki is kissing Bryan on the apron, which distracts Brie. This allows Maryse to roll her up for the win.
Winners: Ted DiBiase, Maryse and Alicia Fox
After the match, the Bellas argue at ringside as Daniel Bryan tries to come in between them. Maryse runs her mouth to Michael Cole and we get ready for another commercial break. What a horrible, horrible waste of Daniel Bryan. This makes me want to cry!
We're back and the Bella's are arguing over who's fault it was and who Daniel Bryan really likes. They enter his locker room and he is making out with Gail Kim! LOL! Gail & Bryan are apparently dating and Gail Kim says he was only hanging out with the Bella Twins because he felt sorry for them. The Bella's call Gail an "After thought" and a brawl breaks loose!
Michael McGillicutty and Husky Harris vs. Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella
Nexus comes out before the break. Back from commercial and out come the WWE Tag Team Champions for the next match. Santino and Michael start the match off. McGillicutty takes control early on and tags in Husky, who stomps away on Santino.
Husky continues beating on Santino, getting a 2-count. Husky breaks a submission of his own and clotheslines Kozlov off the apron. Santino tries to make a comeback and sidesteps Husky in the corner. Santino mounts an offense and calls for the Cobra. Santino chases McGillicutty off the apron and turns around to a big shot from Husky. Husky lays Santino out with his finisher for the pinfall and the win in this non-title match.
Winners: Husky Harris and Michael McGillicutty
Backstage John Cena is heading to the ring. A hipster throws Cena the referee shirt. Cena takes off his necklace, kisses it, and throws it to hipster. Alright. Not sure who he was, but hey, he's got a new necklace and that's pretty neat.
CM Punk vs. Wade Barrett w/ John Cena as Special Referee
Losing team is out of Royal Rumble
Back from the break and CM Punk waits in the ring with Nexus as Wade Barrett and The Corre make their way out. The two groups face off as John Cena's music hits and out he comes to special referee. Before the match starts, Cena orders the members of Nexus to go backstage. Punk protests but Cena isn't hearing it. Nexus leaves while The Corre is allowed to stay, or so it seems. Cena acts like he's about to start the match but orders Corre members away from ringside.
The bell finally rings. Cena shoves Punk back into the corner first thing. Cena then slaps Barrett and dares them to hit him. Punk attacks Barrett and here we go. Punk beats Barrett down in the corner. Punk tosses Barrett out to the floor and argues with Cena. Punk turns his back and Cena tosses him over. Punk comes back in and argues with Cena. Barrett comes in and attacks Punk from behind and goes to work on him. Barrett goes for a pin attempt but Cena goes outside to sign autographs for fans. Cena comes back in and Barrett argues. Punk attacks from behind and they go at it. Cena calls for the bell and goes to ringside to explain the decision. Both are disqualified for excessive use of profanity because this is a PG show. It's announced as a double DQ and both The Corre and Nexus are out of the Royal Rumble match.
Cena celebrates at ringside and heads to the back as Punk and Barrett protest in the ring. The e-mail alert goes off in the arena. The GM calls what we just saw a blatant abuse of power but he can't change the referee's decision but he can change the consequences. It's announced that Punk, Barrett and both of their teams will compete in the Rumble. In addition, if Cena doesn't go in the ring and apologize to both of them right now, Cena will be out of the Rumble.
Cena apologizes then begins to brawl with Punk & Wade. Nexus & Corre charge the ring, followed by The Big Show and other Raw stars. We have a huge brawl with Nexus, Corre, and WWE Baby faces. Of course, we fade out…
Ending shows with a brawl is very unimpressive. A show shouldn't end while wrestling. It should end after the wresting is over. Meh.
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