"Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…"
We open in the arena with Cole welcoming us and talking about the guest host tonight. No Lawler as it's Matthews in there instead.
Orton vs. Sheamus, Morrison vs. Truth and Cena vs. Punk tonight with the last of those starting RIGHT NOW!
John Cena vs. CM Punk
There must be a winner to this. During Cena's entrance we see a clip from last week where Lawler slipped Cena a chair to keep Cena from getting destroyed. Cena gets on the mic and thanks Lawler for helping him out last week. He talks about how it's Valentine's Day and how nothing says I love you like a pair of tickets to WWE. During this part there's a Rocky chant. Love isn't the only thing in the air. WRESTLEMANIA is in the air!
Cena talks about the guest host could be, throwing out names like Sammi from Jersey Shore, Lady Gaga and Michael Cole. Using the clues that Vince gave last week, he proves that Cole is in a love triangle with Miz and Riley and that Michael Cole may not be a man. More importantly though, this Sunday is the Elimination Chamber and after the year Cena has had, he needs this Wrestlemania moment. He dealt with a group of radicals all year called the Nexus, but Sunday there's only one member to deal with.
Cue Punk with a mic of his own. Punk says that the record in Gray's Sports Almanac (Love those movies) it says that the last two times they've fought Punk has won. Punk says he's a good person unlike Cena and the bell rings. If anyone gets involved in this they're out of the Chamber match. Cena hits the post shoulder first and hits the floor. Punk takes him down with a flying clothesline as we take a break.
Back with Punk getting a two count off a big kick. If Nexus gets involved, Punk is out of the Chamber. Punk works the arm but Cena hits an armdrag to get free. Body scissors by Punk takes more energy out of Cena. Cena's shorts are a bit shorter tonight and are above the knees. Cena fights back and gets the Protoplex and 5 Knuckle Shuffle but can't hit the FU.
Punk takes him down with a leg lariat and we get a headscissors. Cena is like man please and just stands up. Back to their feet and Cena hits a gutwrench suplex for two. Cena goes up for the top rope Fameasser but Punk makes the stop. Corner knee hits but the bulldog is reversed into a failed STF attempt. Swinging neckbreaker by Punk sets up the GTS which can't connect.
CM goes up and tries a cross body but Cena rolls through into the FU. Punk gets to the ropes though and hits the floor. A Nexus clad arm sticks out from under the ring and hands Punk a chair. Punk slides it into the ring and the referee goes to get it. The arm comes out again with a wrench. Punk drills Cena with it and the GTS ends it at 10:36.
CM Punk b. John Cena @ 10:36 - GTS
Rating: B. Good match here especially for free TV. The ending was a nice little touch with the two weapons being handed in. Cena losing is good as it builds Punk up even more also. This was one of the better TV matches I've seen in a good while and a great way to start Raw. I love February Sweeps because we get stuff like this.
The announcers say that Lawler isn't here due to the death of his mother but that he'll be at the PPV.
We're waiting on the guest host as we take a break.
Friday is the 600th Smackdown.
Here's Alberto but you already know the joke that most people make when saying his name so I'll spare you. He talks about destiny and Mania and all that jazz. Cue Edge to a nice ovation. He says that he's been so busy fighting Ziggler that he almost forgot about Alberto hitting him with a guitar two weeks ago. Edge says he also has a destiny and takes down Alberto. He sets for the spear but Ricardo saves. Alberto goes to the apron but gets speared off.
Cue Vickie who says that Sunday there will be the world title match in the Chamber but she's here to introduce the new World Heavyweight Champion, Dolph Ziggler. We see a clip of the illegal spear from Friday. This week on Smackdown we're going to have the official coronation of Ziggler as the new champion. Edge is apparently stripped of the title and Vickie also has proof that Edge assaulted Teddy. The segment just kind of ends with Vickie laughing. So he's not champion anymore?
Divas Title up next.
Another 2-21-11 promo with the song and a shot of someone's chest. Well it's certainly not Trish Stratus.
Miz vs. Bryan tonight.
This is a lumberjill match and Natalya is in the ring when we start. Eve grabs a headlock to start which results in a standoff with both trying dropkicks. They slaps hands and go to the mat. Surfboard by Natalya which is always awesome looking. Even counters and is sitting on Natalya's legs. This is more of a gymnastics routine than a match but it's fun.
Josh mentions that Natalya was voted as the dream Diva Valentine's Day date which Cole makes fun of. Natalya is sent to the floor and the Divas beat the hell out of her. As retaliation Eve dives on them to take out nearly all of them at once. Back in Natalya tries a cradle but Eve rolls back onto it for the pin to retain at 3:40.
Eve Torres b. Natalya @ 3:40 - Eve reversed a cradle for the pin
Rating: C. I liked it. Eve looked good out there from a wrestling standpoint and looked like she could actually hang with the "wrestling" Divas instead of just being one of the eye candy ones. This was a pretty decent little match and ended with a wrestling move which is always a good thing. Fun match and short enough to not get bad.
Back from a break with the Bellas getting on Eve for no apparent reason. A brawl breaks out with Natalya trying to save. Gail jumps in there as well and referees break it up.
Cole: "If the Divas keep this up they're going to need chaperones." Oh you know what's coming. Also there's a guest star tonight: Ariel Winter, apparently HHH's costar.
Mark Henry comes down for a match but Sheamus jumps him during his entrance and beats the hell out of him. Sheamus grabs a mic and says that's a preview of what he'll do in the Chamber.
Miz vs. Bryan up next.
We get a clip of the tag match from last week where Bryan and Miz got into it some.
The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan
Riley is on commentary here. Crowd is into Bryan and we get a chant for him. Miz takes him down with a shoulder block to start. Josh makes a Grammys reference of all things. Bryan grabs the arm which gets him nowhere but a dropkick does. Miz takes Bryan down with a big boot. For some reason we keep cutting to shorts of the commentators. Off to a reverse chinlock by Miz.
Bryan escapes and grabs a rear naked choke but Miz grabs the ropes. Another back elbow by Miz gets two. Another chinlock now but the crowd is staying in this which is a good sign. Bryan gets a corner dropkick for two. They slug it out a bit and Miz is knocked to the floor. Running knee from the apron sends Miz through the barricade in front of the time keeper's area.
Back in the ring and a top rope dropkick gets two. Good match here so far. LeBell Lock almost goes on but Miz knocks him to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Miz hammering away in the corner but not being able to hit a suplerplex. Instead Bryan gets a sunset bomb for a close two. We see a replay of the neckbreaker to the floor just before the break and I didn't realize how sick it was.
Bryan unleashes the kicks and Miz counters into a rollup for two. Another gets two. Miz tries a reverse DDT into a neckbreaker but gets countered into a German. BIG kick to the head of the world champion gets two and a huge reaction from the crowd. LeBell Lock can't get hooked so Bryan tries a victory roll. Miz drops him forward and then the Skull Crushing Finale ends it at 12:40.
The Miz b. Daniel Bryan @ 12:40 - Skull Crushing Finale
Rating: B+. This was a damn fine match where Miz got pushed and Bryan looked great. This was exactly what Miz needs: a dominant win where most importantly he won clean. Bryan just took the world champion to the limit and the whole thing worked very well. Good match and the second good one tonight which is a great thing to see.
Miz gets on the mic and says that Lawler isn't here tonight because his mother passed away. He hopes that Lawler doesn't use this as an excuse at the PPV. Nice heel heat there and the catchphrase takes us to a break.
Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga vs. John Morrison/R-Truth
Cole says he'll explain this came about in a bit. Morrison has a BIG black eye. Oh that's from the kick last week. During the break the GM made this match due to what happened last week. Well if that's the case why did he make the singles match into the first place? It was supposed to be Morrison vs. Truth remember? McGillicutty vs. Truth to start us off and Truth is in trouble.
Off to Otunga and he's still in trouble. Matthews thinks McGillicutty handed Punk the wrench earlier. Morrison comes in and is all angry and aggressive. I kind of like it actually. He's beating the hell out of both guys and kicks McGillicutty in the ribs. Truth dives out to take out Otunga so Morrison can hit the running knee to end McGillicutty at 3:19.
John Morrison/R-Truth b. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga @ 3:19 - Running knee smash to McGillicutty
Rating: C. Not bad here but the best part of it was the beating by Morrison. Having Morrison get all pissed off and wanting to hurt Punk is something very good to see. He needs some emotion in his character and this is a good place to start. He could be a star with a few minor tweaks and this would work fine. Fun match.
Truth and Morrison chase off Ryan when he tries to attack them.
There's a plug for Jericho's new book.
The chick from Chaperone and Modern Family is here as the guest star. She introduces the Khali Kiss Cam. She's a kid mind you and dances to Khali's music. Khali's belly button is above her shoulders. The Kiss Cam tonight is of people in the audience. Santino kisses Tamina and Vickie kisses Dolph. Apparently they're in the audience? Maryse won't kiss Ted so she kisses Yoshi Tatsu. Ryder gets kissed on the cheek by Regal in the moment of the night. Horny pops up with a box of candy for her and gets a kiss on the cheek. To all the people that says this is stupid, lighten up. This was like 2 minutes long and harmless.
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
Orton is introduced as the Viper now. Randy takes him down into the corner and gets a Thesz Press with punches. Here's the stomp and knee drop which misses. Naturally we spend the whole match talking about the Chamber. Sheamus takes over with his power stuff and gets the slingshot shoulder block for two. Orton tries to fight back but runs into a boot in the corner.
Apparently that doesn't hurt as he hits some of his basic stuff. Orton charges ahead but gets caught in the Irish Curse backbreaker for two. Middle rope suplex puts Orton down but Sheamus can't capitalize. Sheamus comes at him but walks into the RKO for the finish at 5:07. Punk and Nexus comes out for a beatdown but the other Chamber guys make the save and beat up Nexus.
Randy Orton b. Sheamus @ 5:07 - RKO
Rating: C-. Just a match here as the Big Ending is clearly the guest host. These two are more or less incapable of having a good match so keeping it short is probably the best possible thing they can do. Not bad and the ending works with the RKO, but not enough time and nothing entertaining at all really.
A long limo pulls up and we see a woman's feet. Naturally the camera stays on the feet as we take a break.
Back and the host is……causing electrical noises in the arena. There go the lights. They're going out all over the arena. There goes the Tron and the Elimination Chamber sign. Vince isn't advertising a PPV? This MUST be huge. A light comes on the screen and it's…….THE ROCK!!!!!!!!! I'm stunned at this. He looks like he's in great shape. To put it mildly, the place erupted.
After seven long years……FINALLY, The Rock has come back to Anaheim, to Raw, and Home. When he had the mic up you could see his hand shaking. He has many nicknames, but tonight he's Dwayne. It's been a long time since he's been here and it's not because of money or to promote a movie but because of the fans. The fans helped him accomplish his goals and dreams. He wants to thank the fans and tell them he loves them and because of them he's back in the ring and he's never ever going away.
He says he called Vince and Vince said he needed a host that was electrifying. He needed someone that would get the people talking. He needed a host that would ignite things and that would be Justin Bieber. Justin is cool, but only the Rock could be the host of Mania. He hasn't lost a step on the mic at all. At the drop of a dime he'll lay the smack down at Wrestlemania, but the question is to who.
Could it be Miz? He says he's heard Miz is awesome. Rock isn't a scientist but if you're always saying you're awesome it means you absolutely suck. Rock says there is one man he's going to see at Mania, but there's an E-Mail before he gets to say it. Rock isn't pleased. He cuts Cole off before he can answer, asking if Cole thinks anyone gives a damn what the GM has to say.
Rock: "Michael Cole, is that what you think?" Cole: "Well…" Rock: "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! You sit down at that table and know your damn role and shut your damn mouth!" He says if Cole doesn't then Rock will have some special Facebook pictures tonight of him taking that computer, shining it up real nice and putting it straight up Michael Cole's candy ass. Now sit down because you look like a drunk hobbit.
Anyway there is one man that Rock has to see face to face. Rock has met him before and thinks he's a cool guy. When Rock left this guy came in and started talking trash about the Rock. His name is JOHN CENA. WWE has gone from Austin 3:16 to Can Your Smell What the Rock is Cooking to….You Can't See Me? He does the hand motion and asks if he's playing peek-a-boo. A blindfolded Stevie Wonder in a basement can see you.
Everyone can see Cena. He runs around here in colored shirts looking like a bright bowl of Fruity Pebbles. Rock has said ass about 15 times in 10 minutes. He'll see Cena at Wrestlemania. He'll also see Miz and everyone else at Mania. Rock guaran-damn-tees three things for Mania. He'll show the world he's the most electrifying man in entertainment. At the drop of a dime he'll lay the Smacketh Down on all their candy asses. Finally, the Rock and the MILLIONS and MILLIONS of Rock's fans will electrify Wrestlemania….IF YA SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!!!
Wow. I have no idea what else to say. This was one of the best moments I have ever seen and the idea of Cena vs. Rock in any form or fashion, even talking, is breathtaking.
Massive posing ends the show.
Overall Rating: A+. This was a great show overall with two good matches, a funny comedy bit and of course the huge announcement being the thing that tied things up throughout the show. I'm very excited about the PPV now which is exactly the point of the show. This was a damn good Raw and certainly one of their better ones in awhile. See what happens when you have good wrestling matches? I had it at an A- until Rock came out. Go ahead and b---h. THE ROCK IS BACK.