Yes sir, we promised you a great main event...
Michael Cole makes his way to the ring for "The Michael Cole Challenge." Cole noted that Ross finally came here to take his challenge. Cole made some fat jokes at JR's expense and introduces him. Ross comes out and Cole explains that there are three challenges, and if JR passes all three, he gets his job back and Cole will quit. The first competition is arm wrestling, and Cole brings in a referee. Cole takes his jacket on, while JR keeps his on. Cole does the usual heel stalling before Ross quickly beat him. Cole was upset at first, then claimed that he gave up because Ross' breath was so bad.
We now move on to the second challenge, where the fans will vote for the winner. Cole reveals that it's a dance competition and does a cheesy dance with a scarf. Ross is game, asks for the fans to help and then has them play the music. Ross does this dance, which was kinda repulsive, but the fans cheered anyway. So JR is now 2-0.
Cole seems fine with the second loss and introduces the third challenge. He reveals a weighing scale, and says the third competition is for who weighs the least. Cole has some problems calibrating the scale, and then weighs in at 200 lbs. JR hits the scales and weighs in at 239 lbs. Cole claims victory, and CM Punk's music hits.
Punk comes out with microphone in tow. Punk gets a huge pop as he enters the ring. Punk tells Cole that his time was up. Punk said that once it became obvious that Cole was going to cheat, this whole thing became a colossal waste of time -- except for JR dancing. Punk continues about how this was a colossal waste of time, and asks Cole to leave. Punk said that between Cole and John Laurinaitis, this show was becoming unbearable. Punk wants the show to be interesting, etc.
Laurinaitis came out, and said that according to his Twitter page, fans wanted to see the competition. Laurinaitis said that Punk will team up with Big Show tonight to face Mark Henry and Alberto Del Rio and leaves. Cole laughs, and said that the pipe bomb blew up in his face and asked for an apology. Punk headbutted Cole and applied the Anaconda Vice.
Matt Striker is backstage and a limo pulls up. Mick Foley gets out of the limo and tells Striker that he couldn't miss The Rock's return, and that tonight is a night that The Rock and John Cena will not forget.
Jim Ross fills in for Michael Cole on commentary.
Sin Cara and Kofi Kingston vs. Cody Rhodes (now without the mask) and Hunico
Good match, Rhodes got the win for his team after hitting Kingston with Cross Rhodes and getting the pin.
The Rock is shown arriving backstage.
Santino Marella is shown playing The Rock vs. John Cena on WWE '12. Zack Ryder approaches him and asks if Marella will sign his petition to get a title match against Dolph Ziggler. Marella and Ryder start arguing about who would win between Cena and Rock, but then agree that they will destroy Awesome Truth this Sunday. Marella proceeds to sign the petition.
Vickie Guerrero comes out and announces that Christian is injured and is out of Survivor Series. Guerrero blames Teddy Long's incompetence for Christian being forced to wrestle. Guerrero announces that Dolph Ziggler will take his place, and he comes out and cuts another great promo and says that he is on Team Barrett. Ziggler than says that he's facing "the giant" Mason Ryan, who "is more cyborg than man." Ziggler then heads to the ring as we head to commercial.
Back from commercial, and Laurinaitis escorts Cole to the announce table and orders Ross to leave.
Mason Ryan vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ryan is destroying Ziggler until Guerrero slaps Ryan in the face, prompting Ziggler to get disqualified. Ziggler heads to the back, but Morrison grabbed him and threw him into the ring, where he was met by a full-nelson slam by Ryan.
Mick Foley is shown backstage, and Ryder asks him to sign his petition. Foley asks him to do the fist pump, and then signs the petition. He will be on next.
Mick Foley's music hits and he heads to the ring. He thanks the fans for the warm response, and says that there's no place like home. Foley talks about how Rock and Cena are teaming up for one time only, but wishes they would team up again. Cena gets booed in his hometown. Foley says that the booing is a problem, and he sees Cena is one of the greatest performers in WWE history. He then introduces his good friend, John Cena. Cena's music hits.
Cena says that he appreciates what Foley is trying to do. He says that the reason he asked Rock to be his partner was because he was fantastic, not because they are friends. Foley admitted that they are not good friends, but they respect the hell out of each other. Foley gives Cena his props, and shows off his half Rock/half Cena shirt, and says that he'd like to be the thread that brings Rock and Cena together. He says that he plans to do this since "John Cena, this is your life!" Cena saus that this is not a good idea, and Foley asks for them to run a video tribute.
A tribute is shown. Once it was over, Foley introduces Cena's little league coach. Coach enters the ring and gives Cena a hug, but Cena doesn't reciprocate. The coach talks about how Cena struck out and cried his eyes out. Foley said that everyone strikes out once in awhile, and Cena said that he was striking out right now.
Foley then introduces Cena's old "rap partner," Bull Buchanan. Buchanan enters the ring and says that it's really good to see him. Buchanan then called him the greatest tag partner he's ever had, and teaming with him was the greatest time of his life. Buchanan talks about how his life has sucked since they were a team, and then said that Cena ruined his life and stormed off. Cena said that this was worse than the "Shockmaster." Foley said that he has someone who truly loves him, and it's his father.
BTW, here is the Shockmaster's WCW debut, if you've never seen it:
Mr. Cena comes to the ring, and rips the fans the chant "Cena Sucks." Cena Sr. then said that Cena didn't suck... the fans suck! Cena Sr. is upset at the fans for hassling his son and asks them if they have any idea how hard he works. Cena Sr. pointed out that little children love him, and asks the fans to cheer. When they don't, Cena Sr. called them losers until Cena Jr. cuts him off. Cena says that this awful, and asks his father to leave, which he does.
Cena proceeds to say that it's never bothered him how people felt about him, and that wasn't his life, this is his life (pointing at the ring). Cena calls this one of wrestling's greatest catastrophe's, and tries to leave but Foley stops him. Foley says he has a few more guests to introduce when the Rock's music hits. The Rock then hits the ring and gives Foley a rock bottom, and then leaves. That was funny. End of segment.
It definitely didn't hold a candle to the first "This is your Life" skit in 1999, which you can check out below.
A clip of Sheamus presenting the Best Male award to Justin Bieber at the European Music Awards is shown.
Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger
Sheamus defeated Swagger clean with the Brogue kick in a long, good match.
Ryder is shown backstage talking to the Bellas, who walk away as soon as they see Alberto Del Rio. The Bellas ask Del Rio to hang out with them in NYC after he beats Punk. Ryder asks them to party with him instead and Del Rio takes off, followed by the Bellas.
Kelly Kelly, Eve and Alicia Fox are in the ring.
A behind-the-scenes video is shown of Kelly Kelly's Maxim photo shoot.
Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya
Natalya tried to cinch in the sharpshooter, but Kelly Kelly applied a small package to pin Natalya and get the win.
Laurinaitis is shown talking on the phone to Brodus Clay, and moves his debut to next week, because he feels that he would be overshadowed tonight. Alberto Del Rio approaches. Laurinaitis said he's impartial, but CM Punk would cause a lot more problems as champion. Del Rio said that he doesn't think Punk will make it to Survivor Series, and he'll be champion for a long time, longer than Laurinaitis has been General Manager.
Striker is backstage with Awesome Truth and asks if they feel overshadowed with all of the focus being on Rock and Cena. Truth and Miz don't answer. Striker continues to ask questions, and Miz and Truth stay silent before walking off.
CM Punk is shown walking backstage, and is blindsided by Del Rio, who puts a beatdown on Punk.
Back from commercial and Alberto Del Rio is introduced. Henry is out next, who has his own shirt now. Show is next. Punk is out last, favoring his left arm. Punk then chased Del Rio around the ringside area before entering the ring.
Alberto Del Rio and Mark Henry vs. Big Show and CM Punk
Match ended after Henry planted Punk with the World's Strongest Slam. Show then nailed Henry with a shoulderblock, sending him outside of the ring. Henry and Show proceeded to fight outside of the ring, while Del Rio pinned the fallen Punk to get the 1-2-3. After the match, Del Rio locked the arm-bar in on Punk until Show eventually made the save.
A recap of the "this is your life" from earlier tonight is shown.
Santino Marella's music hits and he heads to the ring. Marella gets in the ring and says that it was in this building that he came close to winning The Royal Rumble, and he would have won it if it weren't for Alberto Del Rio. He said that Boston will be remembered for where he got his career back on track, and next time he's here he'll be champion. Kevin Nash's music hits and he heads to the ring.
Nash grabs a mic. Marella asks if Nash is there to beat him up. Nash asks why he'd want to do that, and he's one of Marella's biggest fans. He said that Marella brought up the Royal Rumble, and it's one of his fondest memories. He asks Marella to do the trombone, which he does and is met with a boot to the face. Nash talks about how he got the biggest ovation at the Royal Rumble, but Triple H still wouldn't hire him. Nash says that he's here and HHH isn't, and proceeds to powerbomb Marella.
Randy Orton is shown backstage doing pushups.
Jonah Hill will be on RAW next week.
A promo is shown of The Rock in WWE '12.
Wade Barrett heads to the ring with his Survivor Series team accompanying him. Barrett takes the mic and says that he proved to the world that Randy Orton is the past, and he's the future. He talks about beating Orton and Sheamus in recent weeks, and he will once again beat Orton tonight. Orton's music hits and he heads to the ring with his Survivor Series team by his side.
Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton
Orton was setting Barrett up when Rhodes hit the ring to interfere, prompting a DQ. All 10 men entered the ring and started fighting. The faces ended up cleaning house of the heels and celebrated.
The Rock is introduced, and he heads to the ring. Loud "Rocky" chants. Rock soaks in the cheers and says "thanks," and even appears a bit emotional. Rock talks about how he was filming GI Joe earlier today and couldn't wait to get to Boston. Rock hypes Survivor Series in 6 days, but says there's a problem... it's not today. Rock says that he loved Mick Foley but could not stand backstage any longer while Foley served that hot plate of garbage. Fans chant, "Thank You, Rock!" Rock replies, "Your Welcome." Some Twitter talk, and the crowd starts chanting "Boots to Asses." Rock says he wants to deliver an ass-whippin' to Awesome Truth, and he wants to deliver it now. Miz and R-Truth then head out.
Miz says that they don't care about Rock's day or what he makes trend, but what they do care about is leaving him a beaten mess. Truth says that they can do that right now. Miz then says it's not going to happen right now, and they don't care what Rock or the people want. Fans chant "Boots to asses" again. Miz and Truth start to leave when John Cena's music hit.
Cena enters the ring and rips on Rock bringing a "bunch of crappy messages via satellite." Rock takes the mic and says that you have to excuse Cena because he's not used to having the support of people that haven't hit puberty. Rock talks about kicking Cena's "lady parts," and the fans start chanting "lady parts." Cena then says that on Sunday, they have to be a team, and if Rock's ego gets in the way, Cena "b---h-slapping Rocky" will be trending world wide.
Miz says he's sick of this, and the last time he was made an after-thought was when he beat Cena at WrestleMania. Miz says that when they're done with Rock and Cena this Sunday, it will never be forgotten. Truth says, "we'll see you Sunday."
Rock says that they'll see them Sunday, but they're all there now, "boots to asses!" Cena and Rock proceed to put a beat down on Miz and Truth. Cena gets Miz up for the AA but Rock pulls him off and delivers the Rock Bottom to Miz and left the ring. Cena and Rock have a stare-down and Rock mocks Cena's "You Can't See Me" pose as the show goes off the air.