Raw starts out with a video recap of John Cena's pseudo-shoot promo last week. Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler welcome us to the show, and plug The Rock's return later tonight. Whoa, take me back to Earth, Raw is opening with Champion vs Champion match. CM Punk's music hits and the WWE Champion comes out to a good pop. We replay what happened last week on Smackdown during their match. Before Daniel Bryan comes out, Chris Jericho comes out with a stern look on his face. He makes his way into the ring with a microphone. Jericho says what he has to say is more important. He says Punk is an amazing performer, but he's just not as good as Jericho, nor is he the best in the world. Jericho never had to call himself the best in the world, the fans said it for him. He says he never had to write it on T-Shirts, the fans would write it on signs. Jericho says he's a part of the dying breed of performers that toured the world, becoming stars before they got to the WWE. A breed that cared more about their matches, than about politics. A breed that were given nothing, and took everything. Jericho says he has a bad reputation because of it, but he didn't care because he knew he was the best. Jericho says Punk is just like him, a rebel that became something more than he was thought to have become, but that's just because Punk wants to be Jericho. Punk stops him, but Jericho refuses. Punk says everyone is sick of listening, and says he knows how good Jericho is, everyone does, but his problem is that Jericho insinuates that he's been stolen from.
Punk says he's fought for everything he's earned, and Jericho wasn't the first to say he was the best. There was a guy they both watched when they were younger, his name was Bret Hart, the best there was, the best there is, and the best there ever will be. Punk asks if Jericho invented that, did he invent Hart being Canadian, did he invent Canada? Jericho says it's always a game to Punk, but he better take him seriously. Jericho says he's faced everyone, beaten everyone, won dozens of championships. Punk says he watches Jericho, and his body language screams inferiority. Punk asks who he's trying to prove he's the best to? Is it him, the fans, or maybe Jericho himself. He says Jericho's confidence has now become Jealously because Punk has surpassed everything Jericho has done. Punk says Jericho tries to place the blame on others, but it's all on him. Jericho is the best in the world at what he does, but Punk is the best wrestler in the world, and while Jericho leaves to be a rock star, Punk is here in the WWE, while Jericho is Dancing with Stars. Jericho says while he was doing all of that, all he could think of was Punk ripping him off. Jericho says all of this is just window dressing because he came back to the WWE for one reason, and that was to embarrass Punk at WrestleMania, and to take back what is his. Punk says that everyone points at the sign every year, but he's just going to point at his championship belt. Punk says they don't need any fancy entrances or pyro, the only thing they need is the two of them in a ring, and we'll find out who the best in the world is on April 1st. Punk says it won't be the end of the world at WrestleMania, just the end of Jericho's. Daniel Bryan then comes out for the advertised match, flanked by A.J. David Otunga, and John Laurinaitis.
Champion vs Champion: CM Punk vs Daniel Bryan (with A.J.)
Bryan jumps a distracted Punk from behind and starts working over him in the corner. Punk reverses and hits some elbows before throwing Bryan out of the ring, and stopping Bryan from getting back in with an elbow. Right before we go to commercial, we see that Santino and Teddy Long are now at the announce table.
Back from the break, Bryan is working over Punk in the corner, but Punk switches it again and hits some chops. Bryan hits his trademark backflip, but Punk is able to hit a Springboard Crossbody for a two count. Bryan then starts working over Bryan's arm, but Bryan pushes Punk back into the corner, before hitting a European Uppercut, taking Punk down. Bryan then starts working over Punk's arm. Bryan hits a few knees to the face, then some stiff kicks to the back and chest. Punk then starts fighting back with some kicks of his own, then a Snapmare followed by more kicks for a two count. Punk dodges a kick then sends Bryan flying over the top rope. Bryan calls A.J. over to stop Punk from hitting a Suicide Dive. Bryan continues hiding behind A.J. until Punk tries to get out of the ring where Bryan trips him up and throws him into the steel steps. We go to another commercial.
We come back to Bryan with an Abdominal Stretch on Punk. During the break, Bryan executed a Superplex, which almost ended in a double pin. Bryan misses a Dropkick in the corner, and lands awkwardly. Both men get up at the same time, and Punk hits some strikes, including a Leg Lariat, then a Spinning Neckbreaker. Punk then hits his Corner Knee, followed by a Bulldog, but Bryan dodges the Bulldog, then goes for a headkick that Punk ducks. Punk with a Scoop Slam followed by a Diving Elbow Drop. Punk signals for the GTS, but Otunga gets up on the apron, after the distraction, Bryan goes for the LaBelle Lock, but Punk fights out, and they both hit crossbodies on each other. Otunga tries to get involved again, but Santino meets him with a Cobra. Laurinaitis then pulls Santino off the apron, and Teddy, Laurinaitis, Santino, and Otunga start arguing. Bryan tries to leave, but Sheamus comes out of nowhere, throws him into the ring, and allows Punk to hit the GTS. Laurinaitis stops the referee from counting, and the ref calls for the bell at Laurinaitis's consent.
Winner by DQ: Daniel Bryan
Teddy then comes in and shoves Laurinaitis down. The GMs have to be held back as Punk taunts on top of the ramp. Jericho comes out form the back and takes out Punk on the ramp, slamming him into it, then hitting a Scoop Slam on the stage. Jericho then locks in the Walls of Jericho on Punk, wrenching at the back of the WWE Champion. Jericho then poses with the WWE Championship as we replay what has just happened. We go to commercial.
Back from the break, Josh Matthews is outside the trainer's room, and he says that CM Punk is hurting, but he is also angry. The announcers then talk it over with their horrible face and heel work. They then plug Undertaker vs Triple H in a Hell in a Cell match at 'Mania. We go back to a replay of their match last year at WrestleMania. If they're going to show video packages, they at least better be damn awesome like that one.
They plug John Cena vs The Miz, which is later tonight before we go back to commercial.
Nikki Bella (with Brie Bella) vs Kelly Kelly
Kelly quickly takes down Nikki with a Lou Thesz Press, but Nikki fights back up and slams her down for a two count. Nikki hits a Neck crank for a two count. Nikki stays in control in the corner, but Kelly catches her with a Drop Toe Hold, then her horrible worked Spinning Headscissors. Kelly with a kinda' decent Bulldog before hitting a baseball slide on Brie. Nikki rolls up Kelly, but Kelly keeps rolling and gets the 3 count.
Winner: Kelly Kelly
John Cena vs The Miz is next, after this commercial.
Back from the break, John Cena's music hits. He gets a mixed reaction as usual, hey I'd be cheering him after that promo last week. Reactions seems to have a few more boos actually. The Miz comes out, but stops on the stage with a microphone. He says before he speaks to Cena, he has something he has to get off his chest. He says he worked too hard to be treated this way, no one has worked harder than him in the past year. After all he's done for WWE, his name is still left off of the WrestleMania card. Camera shows a sign that said, "Miz, remember when you mattered?" Ha...Miz says he's going to prove to everyone that he's WrestleMania worthy.
John Cena vs The Miz
They lock up and start out with some good chain wrestling as pro/con Cena chants start. Cena hits a nice Fisherman Buster. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Miz reverses and hits the Reality Check for a two count. Miz hits a sick knee to the head for another two count. Cena fights back with a Back Body Drop, then hits a Stinger Splash in the corner. Cena goes for a Suplex, but Miz reverses and hits a Snap DDT for a two count. Miz then measures Cena for his Corner Clothesline, which he hits, and then makes his way to the top turnbuckle. Miz misses a Double Axe Handle, and Cena hits a Couple of Shoulder Blocks, followed by a Spinning Back Suplex. Cena then hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle, and goes for the AA, which he hits. Cena then locks in the STF for the win, and the first time his combo has been finished in like a year. Haters can't even complain.
Winner: John Cena
As Cena celebrates on the turnbuckle, we see The Rock on the titantron watching on a computer screen. He looks into the camera and does Cena's taunt before closing the camera lens. We go to commercial.
I missed part of this, but apparently we have a three corners match for the WWE Tag Team Championship.
I come back and R-Truth is in control of Ziggler, but he gets blasted by Swagger, then Kingston comes in and takes out Swagger and himself. The ring is empty as we go to commercial break. I apologize for missing the first portion of the match.
Back from the break, Swagger is in control of R-Truth. Primo takes control of Truth as Swagger tags in Ziggler. Truth starts fighting back on both men, but gets caught by Primo who goes for a Neckbreaker, but Truth catches him and hits a stereo STO/DDT combination on both men. All three men tag out, and Kofi takes out both Swagger and Epico. Kingston then goes up top and hits a Five Star Crossbody for a two count. Kofi then Scoop Slams Epico on Swagger, and hits a Double Boom Drop. Kofi then signals for the Trouble in Paradise, but Ziggler catches him with the Zig Zag. Truth then takes out Ziggler as Swagger tries to steal the win, but Kofi kicks out. Epico goes for the Backstabber, but Swagger reverses for with the Ankle Lock. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise, but before Swagger hits the ground, Primo hits a Backstabber on him, and allows Epico to pin Swagger.
Winners: Primo and Epico
Before they can even celebrate, the pyro goes up and Kane is here! Kane comes in and hits a Double Chokeslam on Primo and Ziggler. Truth then comes in, but he gets caught with a Chokeslam too. Kane then does his signature taunt.
Backstage, Laurinaitis and Otunga are discussing the ridiculousness of the Oscars last night, but they are interrupted by Teddy. Teddy says there's a rumor that Ace won't be running next week's Raw, but Ace counters with a rumor that Teddy has been fired. Teddy says Ace is a horse's ass, and the freakin' crowd starts chanting that. Still to come, Sheamus and Big Show vs Mark Henry and Cody Rhodes.
Back from the break, we go back to last week's Raw, where Eve revealed that she was using Zack, then broke down in tears when Cena called her bad names. Eve then makes her way to the ring, wearing a skimpy dress. Eve gets booed pretty loudly and looks like she's going to cry before she even talks. Then a hoeski chant breaks out, and she tells us that we can go ahead and judge her, but she is a woman living in a man's world. Eve says she may use men, but there's not a man in this world that wouldn't loved to be used by her. She says it's not her fault that men can't resist her. She says she shouldn't be blamed for her assets, but us men should blame ourselves. Eve drops the mic and blows a kiss before leaving the ring. The world is finally ending, King said he would resist Eve if she threw herself at him. Backstage, Kelly calls Eve a totally different person, and Eve laughs at her before walking away. Alicia Fox then steps in the screen but doesn't say anything.
Up next, that Smackdown tag team match I announced earlier. But first, we get a preview for Edge's new movie, Breaking the Rules.
Back on Raw, we get a replay of how Bryan caused Orton a concussion, and it announces that Orton returns to Smackdown this Friday to unleash his fury on Bryan.
Big Show makes his way to the ring for tonight's tag team main event. Sheamus is out next. The World's Strongest Man, Mark Henry is the first member of his team followed by the WWE Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes. Before the match starts, Rhodes says Floyd Mayweather is fighting sometime soon, and says what Mayweather did to Big Show at WrestleMania XXIV was embarrassing. We then get a video highlight of their 2008 feud, presented by Cody in "Another Embarrassing Big Show Moment."
Big Show and Sheamus vs Mark Henry and Cody Rhodes
Cody starts the match with Big Show, but quickly tags in Mark Henry. Big Show starts stomping Henry, then hits a huge spear on him. Show then runs after Cody, but Cody starts to leave up the ramp as Show gets back into the ring. Sheamus tags in himself and hits the Brogue Kick on Henry for the win.
Winners: Big Show and Sheamus
Cole says that the WWE Board of Directors will have a huge announcement tomorrow morning on WWE.com. We then have another replay of Cena's promo last week. Not complaining.
We come back to a plug for Shawn Michaels returning to Raw next week. We then get a shot of the crowd, and they're chanting for Rock, a sign that says "I traveled 10 hours to see Rock, #TeamCanada" is shown. The Rock then comes out and quickly walks down to the ring to a huge reaction from the crowd. After a couple of minutes of soaking up the reaction, Rock says he wants to show us his arm because this is real, he's covered in goosebumps because this feels so good. The crowd then starts a boots to asses chant. Rock says this may come as a shock to some people, but he's not here every single week. This gets some boos, but he says The Rock was born and created in the WWE. Rock says when he says he wasn't going away, he meant it, but it didn't mean he was going to be at every show, but if Cena wants to take that literally, but unlike that person, he respects the audiences- he's interrupted by a "Fruity Pebble" chant. Rock says his heart and soul is in this business, and he is standing here right now because he loves the WWE, and he will always be a part of the WWE. He says Cena's name and gets a lot of boos. He says for years, he thought Cena was a phony, he says he thought there was no way Cena was the Doctor of Thuganomics, but he then realized he is that guy. He's that guy who came out here last week and ran him down with all that passion and anger. I don't like The Rock talking in first person. Rock says he'd rather slap Cena in the face with a chicken in catering than talk to him. The crowd then breaks out into another chant. Rock says Cena isn't even a bad guy, but what he is, is a Kung-pow b---h.
The crowd starts chanting that now. The Rock says last week, Cena said something that hit him hard, Cena said that come April 1, Cena was going to fight for all the people who love to be a professional wrestler. Rock says he grew up in this business, and he was always taught that no one would fight for him. That's how they learned and got better. Rock says when he would come out as a "Babyface," people would boo him just like Cena, but no one fought for him. He says it's fine if Cena fights for the boys in the back, but while Cena fights for them, Rock fights for the people. He says he's fighting for the people who are sick and tired of Cena being shoved down their throat. Rock says the people are tired of Cena, but they're not tired of being entertained, and that's where Rock comes in because he loves to entertain...too bad his movies don't. This crowd is just going nuts at random times now haha. When Rock came back and said Cena looked like Fruity Pebbles, the fans started chanting it, and then Cena ended up on the box. He then gets the crowd to start "ladyparts." Rock says half the crowd is chanting Rocky, and the other half lady parts, and tells them to make up their mind. They go with a mixture of both still. Rock then gets them to do Lady Parts. Then Rocky. Rock asks what's the most innovative thing Cena's done. Rock says he knows, it was when Cena changed his jean shorts to camo shorts. Rock says that it's working because we can't find Cena's balls whatsoever. Rock gets a bottle of water as he gets the crowd to chant "Missing balls."
Cena then comes out to a whole arena of boos. Once in the ring, Cena says he couldn't miss this. Cena says only Rock could refer to Cena as Kung Pow Chicken because it's perfect. Cena says he "didn't want to swing through the people's stroodle or whatever he's calling his p---s these days." Cena says he is the guy that runs down Rock when he's not here, but he's also the guy that runs him down when he is here. Cena say she was a Rock fan until he got Dwayne Johnson. Johnson is a self-centered guy that wouldn't care if WWE closed down tomorrow. Cena says he doesn't need stuff to trend worldwide, nor does he need notes for his promo on his wrist. Cena say on April 1, he'll be eying up Dwayne Johnson. And he'll see a man afraid, because Cena is going to beat the hell out of him at WrestleMania. Cena then leaves and tells Rock to continue trending. The crowd chants Rocky after Cena leaves and Rock says it's like Cena to come out, run his mouth and walk away before he slaps the lips off his face. Rock says he's not surprised that Cena confuses the world, but let him tell Cena this, Dwayne Johnson and The Rock is the same man no matter where he is, but the difference between him and Cena is that Cena isn't tough, but the bottom line is it doesn't matter who faces John at WrestleMania, Dwayne or Rock, he will kick Cena's Candy Ass... If you smell What the Rock is cookin'! Rock's music plays and we end the show with him taunting.
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