We start with the usual opening, and Michael Cole welcomes us to the show. Jerry Lawler is in the ring and he says tonight will be the first ever Rock/Rap concert, and that tonight each man will have an opportunity to express themselves in their own way, and we'll start with some Thuganomics. Cena's old song hits and he walks out dressed like 2003. Not much of a reaction actually, but what little I hear is boos. Cena says in rap form that Rock is like Lebron James, he took his talents to South Beach. For the past few weeks, Rock's been pissed, and if he gets stuck singing his song tonight, it'd all be in the wrist. Cena asks if we could have a week where Rock didn't choke, and calls him a G.I. Joke. Cena says he's going to give Rock a Cleveland Steamer here tonight. Cena says the truth is getting scary because last week they were chanting tooth fairy. Good work there by the bleepers at censoring when Cena said "chicken s--t." Pretty good stuff from Cena as he leaves to still not much of a reaction.
The announcers plug Rock's concert later tonight and Shawn Michaels and Under taker face to face.
Vickie interrupts them by excusing herself and gets much more of a reaction than Cena. She says daylight savings time should be illegal because it deprives the world of Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler then comes out for his match. The 2012 Royal Rumble Winner, Sheamus comes out next to a decent pop.
Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero) vs Sheamus
We start with Ziggler showing off a little and getting the best of Sheamus, who responds to this with a kick to the gut and a Headlock Takedown for a couple of two counts. Sheamus hits a stiff Shoulder Block to take Ziggler down, then flips him over with another Takedown. Ziggler fights out with some strikes, but Sheamus stays in control with an elbow, then goes for his forearm shots on the apron, but Ziggler slips out of the ring as we go to commercial.
We come back and Sheamus is still in control of Ziggler. Ziggler tries fighting out, but gets hit with another Shoulder Block. Ziggler goes for a Hip Toss, but Sheamus reverses and Hip Tosses him out of the ring. Vickie distracts Sheamus as Ziggler goes under the ring. Ziggler comes out behind Sheamus and hits a Dropkick to the back before slamming Sheamus into the announce table back first. Ziggler falls down also and makes his way into the ring at a count of four. Sheamus's back has a welt on it from the table as he gets back into the ring and is met with some kicks from Ziggler. Ziggler locks on a Rear Naked Choke as we go to Josh Matthews in a skybox with Daniel Bryan and A.J. He asks why Bryan told A.J. to shut up on Smackdown. Bryan says everything is fine and so does A.J. We go back to the match as Sheamus tries to fight out of the choke, and slams Ziggler down to break the hold. Sheamus then gets hot with some Polish Hammers, then a Tilt-a-Whirl Slam for a two count. Sheamus signals for the Celtic Ross, but Ziggler slips out, only to be caught and slammed from high up for another two count. Sheamus gets caught and slams his shoulder into the ring post. Ziggler hits a leg drop bulldog for a close two count. Both men get up at the same time and Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick legit out of nowhere for the win.
Sheamus celebrates, and the welt on his back is still pretty bad. We replay the highlights of the match.
The announcers put over the Team Long vs Team Laurinaitis match at 'Mania and say we're going to hear from both GMs after this break.
We come back to the WWE Rewind of Teddy Long vs John Laurinaitis from Smackdown on Friday where Orton attacked Kane and Long pinned Laurinaitis. Back on Raw, Laurinaitis is halfway to the ring with his goofy smile. He takes a seat beside Cole at the announce booth. Santino Marella and Aksana come out for a mixed tag team match. Santino is revealed to be the captain of Team Long. The captain of Laurinaitis's team is David Otunga, who comes out next, and poses on the stage. No one comes out with him however. Laurinaitis tells us to hold on and says we're not going to have a mixed tag tonight, instead it's going to be a handicap match. He welcomes Otunga's partner, Mark Henry.
2-on-1 Handicap Match: Santino Marella (with Aksana) vs David Otunga and Mark Henry
Teddy Long makes his way out as Otunga works over Santino. Teddy pushes Johnny down, who falls all over Cole as Santino mounts a comeback in the ring. He goes for The Cobra, but gets caught by Henry who hits a Headbutt, then the World's Strongest Slam for the win.
Winners: David Otunga and Mark Henry
After the match, Otunga and Henry double team Santino until Kofi Kingston comes out to make the save, but he gets caught by Henry, and then a Clothesline by Otunga takes him down too. Henry hits a World's Strongest Slam on Kofi as Truth makes his way into the ring. Truth gets double teamed also as Otunga hits The Verdict on Truth. Henry then hits the World's Strongest Splash on Truth. Laurinaitis introduces Mark Henry as the newest member to Team Laurinaitis as Aksana and Teddy look on.
We go to a promo of Miz on Psych before a commercial.
Back to the show, we go to a clip of Extra with Maria Menounos because Alicia Fox and The Bella Twins were on it. Alcia talks about how she's worried about her outfit, and The Bellas talk about Rock vs Cena. After that, we see cleavage, I mean Eve walking backstage, Zack Ryder comes out and says he's confused and asks Eve is she's just playing him. Eve says she's not playing him and says they should be friends with benefits. Beth Phoenix then shows up and complains about not being on Extra. Eve sends Zack away, and Beth compliments Eve, who doesn't seem to care.
We then see Big Johnny talking on the phone to someone. Miz attempts to interrupt him, and asks when he's going to be a member of Team Laurinaitis. Johnny is mad because Miz interrupted his phone call, and Miz introduces James Roday from Psych. Laurinaitis asks if Roday wants to be a guest ring announcer tonight, and Roday says he'll "Fink it up." Laurinaitis say sMiz will be against CM Punk tonight. Roday tells him to oil up for his match. Dude seems pretty funny. Up next, the Funkasaurus is in da house! We go to commercial.
Jinder Mahal vs Brodus Clay (with Cameron and Naomi)
Mahal attacks Clay after Clay's dancing bit, but gets caught with a brutal tackle. Clay then hits an Exploder Suplex followed by a Big Splash for the win.
Winner: Brodus Clay
Brodus dances after the match with his girls as we see a replay of the match.
We see Shawn Michaels walking backsage. We'll hear from him next.
We come back to Shawn Michaels's music, and HBK comes out. Shawn looks all business as he says that at WrestleMania, it will be the end of an era, and he will be referee. Shawn says he got some information he wasn't aware of last week, and we see a replay of Triple H saying everyone runs their mouth saying Shawn couldn't end the streak and that Triple H is going to end the streak for him and Shawn. Shawn says no one has implied that he's a failure, or that he couldn't get the job done. He says someone has been absent the last few weeks, but thankfully that person is here tonight, and he tells Undertaker to come out. Undertaker makes his usual entrance, wearing his hooded attire that he wore last time. As Undertaker walks very slowly down the ramp, I feel the need to acknowledge the "Explain GTV" sign I saw that is now trending on Twitter. Seriously, how awesome is that? It's been 13 years and they never explain what GTV was to us! Finally, Undertaker gets in the ring, and Shawn says they always had respect for each other, and they did things no one would forget, but Undertaker of all people should have to guts to say things to Shawn's face, not behind his back. 'Taker asks what he wants him to say, that he's a failure. Undertaker says Shawn isn't repeating 'Taker's words, he's repeating the words chosen for him by Triple H.
Undertaker brings up Shawn's insecurities, and Shawn says that Undertaker was the one that practically begged for the match at 'Mania, and it's because last year Triple H beat him within an inch of his life. Shawn says last week he told Triple H he knew who was going to win, and Undertaker says that Shawn should know whatever happens at WrestleMania, he's prepared to accept the outcome, but what he's not prepared to accept is Shawn sticking his ego in it. Undertaker says whatever happens, the outcome should be pure, and if the outcome isn't pure, there will be hell to pay. Shawn says that he looks at this as irony. Isn't it ironic that the guy who's career Undertaker, could possibly be the guy that counts 'Taker's shoulders to the mat, the guy who could turn Undertaker into a failure. Isn't it ironic that he could still be the guy to end the streak. Shawn starts to walk away, but 'Taker stops him, and says that he will beat Triple H and the streak will continue, and he will end an era, but if Shawn doesn't do the right thing, Undertaker will end him. They have a tense stare down before Shawn pats Undertaker on the arm and leaves. As Triple H makes his way onto the stage, he meets Triple H. They exchange words before Shawn leaves. Triple H and Undertaker stare at each other from a distance as Triple H. Triple H does the D-X crotch chop and leaves us with more speculation.
Up next CM Punk vs The Miz.
Back from the break, James Roday, our guest ring announcer makes his way out. He says finally the white guy from Psych has found his way to Monday Night Raw. He says it fills him with child-like glee announce this match. He announces Miz first, man this guy is hilarious. The Miz comes out with a mixed reaction as it is his hometown. Saw the Explain GTV sign again. I want to give whoever made that a hug. Punk comes out next as Roday "Finkinizes" his name. We see Jericho watching from the back in ring gear and light up jacket.
The Miz vs CM Punk
They lock up with Miz getting a quick one count. If Miz wins this matchup he will join Team Laurinaitis at WrestleMania. Punk hits Miz with a few kicks, but Miz catches him with a knee to the gut. We go to commercial.
Back from the break, Miz hits a Snap DDT for a two count, then goes up top, but Punk dodges him. Punk goes for the GTS, but Miz reverses and goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, only to be put in the Anaconda Vice. After a bit, Miz taps out.
Winner: CM Punk
Up on the titantron, Jericho is applauding Punk. Jericho says he see straight through Punk, and that he found out a secret about Punk. Jericho says Punk's been straightedge for a while, but he never explained the reason why. Jericho says it's because Punk's father was an alcoholic who let him down every step of the way, and Punk doesn't want to end up like him. Jericho says that punk will because it's in his blood, and that he's found something that terrifies Punk, and that it's ironic that the very alcohol that Punk craves is the reason his childhood was ruined. Jericho says the reason Punk has all his tatoos is because the pain of the tattoo needle was his solace from alcohol. Jericho says that once he beats Punk at WrestleMania, Punk's going to want to take a drink, and another, and another. He says Punk will be recognized just like his father was, a pathetic drunk. Punk looks emotional in the ring as he leaves to the fans chanting his name.
We come back to a David Otunga attorney plug. I'd hire him if you're in legal trouble.
Randy Orton comes out. His opponent will be Mr. Combover, Jack Swagger. We replay Kane and Orton's short feud so far.
Jack Swagger (with Vickie Guerrero) vs Randy Orton
Swagger takes down Orton as "CM Drunk" trends. Orton quickly reverses and stomps on Swagger's limbs, then hits a Dropkick before throwing Swagger out of the ring. Orton slams swagger into the steel steps, then the announce table a few times before rolling him back into the ring. We go to commercial.
We come back, and Swagger is in control of Orton, but Orton fights to his feet, and they trade blows. Orton sends Swagger into the corner, but gets caught and Swagger takes out Orton's knee for a two count. Swagger then softens up the Ankle of Orton. Orton starts fighting back again , but gets caught with a Scoop Powerslam from Swagger. Swagger misses a Swagger Bomb, but he catches Orton off guard with the Ankle Lock. Orton fights out and hey both end up on the top turnbuckle. Orton hits a Superplex, and the crowd chants for an RKO. Orton hits a couple of Clotheslines then a Powerslam, followed by a Rope-hung DDT. Orton signals for the RKO now, and hits it for the three count.
Winner: Randy Orton
Suddenly, pyro goes off on the turnbuckles and the lights turn red, but Kane doesn't appear.
Up next, we have The Rock concert.
We get a plug for Christian's return this Friday with the Peep Show during commercials.
Back from the break, they plug Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and Undertaker being in the same ring next week. Also taking place is John Cena vs Mark Henry. The Rock then comes out to the biggest pop of the night, and he has his guitar with him. In the ring, which is set up for the concert, Rock does his usual taunts. Rock gets a non-WWE microphone and says that he's finally came back to Cleveland. Rock says tonight, we've broken a record. Tonight is the largest sell-out crowd in the history of the WWE. Really? Rock points to his wrist to show that there's no notes and he has goosebumps. . Saw a guy in the crowd holding a pro-Rock sign, but wearing Cena gear. Rock asks if we've seen Cena earlier, and that it wasn't John Cena. The John Cena we know is Vanilla Ice's illegitimate kid with a Telly Tubby. He then shows that graphic on the Titan Tron showing how Cena was created. Rock sits down and says tonight is about something special. He takes his guitar and says tonight isn't about some two minute rap because everybody knows that "Cleveland rocks." Rock starts to play and sings that Cena sucks, tells him to know his role and shut his mouth. I can't do this justice. Rock says something about Cena's menstrual clock, and says he'll shove his boot in Cena's ass, and calls him an Eminem wannabe. Pretty good stuff. Rock finishes by saying that Cleveland rocks, like he did a lot during the song. Rock then asks if they want to hear a true story and says he has a scoop from Cena's doctor. Through song, he says that Cena needs to quit begging for a rectal exam. Rock asks if we want to hear some gossip and says this is about Cena and Eve. He says through song that he saw Cena making out with Eve, and tugging on her weave.
He says Cena didn't tell her that he had a wife, and now divorce lawyers are right around the block, but we're still rocking while Cleveland Rocks. Rock says here's a little Diddy about the day Cena was born. He says that little baby Johnny had lady parts, but we're still dancing because Cleveland Rocks. Rock asks if there are any grown men who are John Cena fans. There's lots of boos as Rock points out that there are only a few. Rock asks if he should mess with those guys, and he says through song to grown men that are Cena fans. He says it doesn't matter how hard you try, they'll never taste pie. He calls them walking virgins and says they're 42. Says they dress like Kirk and Spock, but we're dancing 'cause Cleveland Rocks. They show a few grown Cena fans who aren't to happy, but the crowd chants for Rock. Rock asks where the ladies are and lots of them cheer. Rock says he loves women, but there's a special lady who's at home right now and this song is for her. "Rock's getting some wine and a dozen roses, she's going to meet my holy Moses. Gettin' with Rock is the bomb, just ask Cena's mom." Cole keeps snorting on commentary, it's funny, but he should really take his headset off or something. Rock puts down his guitar and says there's only one way to end The Rock concert, there's only one song, and this one's for the people. Rock says everyone sing this song with him. The beat to "We Will Rock You" starts playing. Rock sings about Cena to the beat, the words playing on the titantron, either so the crowd can sing along, or so Rock doesn't forget his words. Probably both, but this is still pretty cool. Rock does his catchphrase as the show goes off air.
Got a news tip or correction? Send it to us by clicking here.