Re-Post: WWE RAW Results With Tons Of Video
Winner: Randy Orton
Suddenly, pyro goes off on the turnbuckles and the lights turn red, but Kane doesn't appear.
Up next, we have The Rock concert.
We get a plug for Christian's return this Friday with the Peep Show during commercials.
Back from the break, they plug Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and Undertaker being in the same ring next week. Also taking place is John Cena vs Mark Henry. The Rock then comes out to the biggest pop of the night, and he has his guitar with him. In the ring, which is set up for the concert, Rock does his usual taunts. Rock gets a non-WWE microphone and says that he's finally came back to Cleveland. Rock says tonight, we've broken a record. Tonight is the largest sell-out crowd in the history of the WWE. Really? Rock points to his wrist to show that there's no notes and he has goosebumps. . Saw a guy in the crowd holding a pro-Rock sign, but wearing Cena gear. Rock asks if we've seen Cena earlier, and that it wasn't John Cena. The John Cena we know is Vanilla Ice's illegitimate kid with a Telly Tubby. He then shows that graphic on the Titan Tron showing how Cena was created. Rock sits down and says tonight is about something special. He takes his guitar and says tonight isn't about some two minute rap because everybody knows that "Cleveland rocks." Rock starts to play and sings that Cena sucks, tells him to know his role and shut his mouth. I can't do this justice. Rock says something about Cena's menstrual clock, and says he'll shove his boot in Cena's ass, and calls him an Eminem wannabe. Pretty good stuff. Rock finishes by saying that Cleveland rocks, like he did a lot during the song. Rock then asks if they want to hear a true story and says he has a scoop from Cena's doctor. Through song, he says that Cena needs to quit begging for a rectal exam. Rock asks if we want to hear some gossip and says this is about Cena and Eve. He says through song that he saw Cena making out with Eve, and tugging on her weave.
He says Cena didn't tell her that he had a wife, and now divorce lawyers are right around the block, but we're still rocking while Cleveland Rocks. Rock says here's a little Diddy about the day Cena was born. He says that little baby Johnny had lady parts, but we're still dancing because Cleveland Rocks. Rock asks if there are any grown men who are John Cena fans. There's lots of boos as Rock points out that there are only a few. Rock asks if he should mess with those guys, and he says through song to grown men that are Cena fans. He says it doesn't matter how hard you try, they'll never taste pie. He calls them walking virgins and says they're 42. Says they dress like Kirk and Spock, but we're dancing 'cause Cleveland Rocks. They show a few grown Cena fans who aren't to happy, but the crowd chants for Rock. Rock asks where the ladies are and lots of them cheer. Rock says he loves women, but there's a special lady who's at home right now and this song is for her. "Rock's getting some wine and a dozen roses, she's going to meet my holy Moses. Gettin' with Rock is the bomb, just ask Cena's mom." Cole keeps snorting on commentary, it's funny, but he should really take his headset off or something. Rock puts down his guitar and says there's only one way to end The Rock concert, there's only one song, and this one's for the people. Rock says everyone sing this song with him. The beat to "We Will Rock You" starts playing. Rock sings about Cena to the beat, the words playing on the titantron, either so the crowd can sing along, or so Rock doesn't forget his words. Probably both, but this is still pretty cool. Rock does his catchphrase as the show goes off air.
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