Jake 'The Snake' Roberts Talks Not Being In WWE HOF, WrestleMania 3, Undertaker, WWE Today & More
Characters and gimmicks: "As far as characters… you have a good one and you take care of it, it should last forever. The big thing is you just shouldn't go out there and destroy your own credibility. If you got two guys out in the ring and you're clothes-lining each other five times, who's the tough guy? Maybe one or both of you are lying pricks. Less is more and do the right thing. Don't do things that are stupid; that's how you get longevity out of a character. And today there are no characters, I don't think. They've all been just stirred up in a bucket and everybody's just the same.
Undertaker: "I love the guy, number one. Number two, I was there when he first got in there in the WWE. Here's really quite a story: He comes to me, he says, 'Hey I hear you know where all the good strip joints are at.' And I'm like, 'In the world, yes. I know them all.' And he's like, 'Well, I'll travel with you!' And I said, 'Oh boy, why don't you go back to playin' basketball because you're not gonna be able to hang with me,' and I said, 'I'll kill ya.' And a few weeks later, I believe he was in pretty bad shape—something about alcohol poisoning. Yeah, it was a chemical world, and I was cheating, man. He didn't know it. I wasn't gonna tell him! He rolled with me for quite a while. We're great friends and I'd like to think that I helped him more. I think if you asked him he'd tell you the same, that he learned a lot from me.
"That's what I was all about anyway, man, not only helping my own character, but helping others with theirs. My idea of being a professional wrestler is to make the show better. In other words, everybody must be better. And if I can help this guy lift his thing up a little bit, I'm gonna go help the guy. That's something I'm proud of. Whether it be Undertaker or Steve Austin, right on down the line. I think if you asked Austin who helped him the most, he'd tell you it was me. Wherever I met Austin, he wasn't gonna be more than third or fourth match, and I told McMahon, 'Try him for third for next superstar, man.' And he said, 'I don't think so.' Well, gee, even Mr. McMahon can be wrong every now and then!"
If people are scared to take a chance on him: "I don't think it's the past. I think it's just me, period, because of what I believe in. Vince McMahon once told, 'Jake, perception of you with our TV people and stuff is that you're angry.' I'm like, 'I'm not angry!' 'You told this guy it was a 'stupid effin' idea'!' I'm like, 'Well, it was a stupid effin' idea!' So I stand my ground on what I believe. And—uh—sometimes that gets you in trouble. I wouldn't be good in a boardroom, man. I speak my piece; I won't follow any stupid thing that I think is stupid. I'll just say Screw that; that's bulls--t. That's gets me in trouble, man. I'm a team player because I want the product better, but… my nose doesn't fit well up anybody's butt."
If inmates are running TNA: "Oh yeah! I think I told Vince McMahon that one time. Back whenever it was [Scott] Hall, [Kevin] Nash/Diesel (The Kliq) stay in this, you're letting the Inmates run the Asylum. They were calling the shots as they wanted to! And that's wrong. That is just totally wrong. I would have never thought about doing that out of respect for what this business it and what it is supposed to be. That is just freakin' wrong!
"You got people in the wrong positions, you got people that shouldn't be in those positions. And Dixie Carter—for whatever she is—I think she's a mark! And for whatever Hogan is, Hogan's not a booker! Christ. I mean, thank god they got rid of the jerk, the one that destroyed the WCW. What was his name... RUSSO! He'll probably go in the goddamn Hall of Fame before I do."
Training wrestlers: "I would love that! I would love to kill them! I would love to touch them all over. Enter their orifices with my thumb when they do something wrong. It's stupid! I would love to be teaching these kids. My god, I would love that. Because I could either sit back on my ass and try to watch wrestling (which I get so frustrated with today that I turn it off), or I could say, Okay, look, man, get up there and try to do something about it. And the only thing I could do about it now is by teaching. My physical problems: my feet, my hands, my neck, no wonder! If you have that happen, well, thirty-seven years of getting your ass kicked will do that to you, Jake! I can't compete anymore, but I can teach these kids so much. That would be a real joy for me. It certainly would."
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