Impact Review: Hogan Wrestles With His Face & Loses, Roode Over Sells, Aries Shines, Why Bully?

Angle apparently has no peripheral vision to not see Knoxx sliding in and standing right next to him as he clocked him with the hammer a few times. Angle sold the attack well, like he had been shot.

The WWE'S Shield is how TNA should have presented Aces and 8's…but instead this entire Aces and 8's angle is one of the biggest busts in the history of the business and it's no where close to being fully revealed. They better have Chuck Norris under one of those masks if they want to shock me and save their arses.

Wait, Chuck don't need no gang. Chuck Norris is a gang. My bad Mr. Norris. I forgot the rules.

YEAH, Sting walks to the ring, much like he did on his return on 1/3/13. He's 10 minutes late but hey, he's a hero! He gets tough on the mic and he want Knoxx. MUST SEE TV!!! You do understand sarcasm, no?

Bottom Line: Anyone care?

Match Rating: 0 stars. What Match?

***Back from commercial Todd Keneley says "Welcome back to an absolutely chaotic night of TNA wrestling"…translation= "Welcome back, I hope you're still tuned in…no one would blame you if you're not."

Match #6: Sting vs. Mike Knoxx…LEGENDS COLLIDE!!!! Sorry, hard to resist. I have to make my own fun here as TNA gave me nothing this week.

Sting gets the upper hand before Hebner takes away the weapons…party pooper. How's are they going to kill each other now and make room for better talent Earl???

As the bell rings Knoxx dominates. Knoxx has actual ring skill; I hope they let him use it. He reminds me of a bearded Big Boss man. Stinger pulls out some new moves; Punch, kick, back fist, kick…oh wait, my bad, not new sorry, but they're new to Knoxx, does that count?

Scorpion Death Drop, reversed…Knoxx hits a 54-year old man with a 350 avalanche in the corner which Sting no-sells thus making Knoxx irrelevant for the remainder of his time within TNA.

Someone tell me how Sting is any different than the crap Hogan gets slammed with?

Two Stinger Splashes later, then a death drop and the 54-year old beats the younger, bigger man with a three count effectively making Knoxx a joke and Aces and 8's a bigger one.

Sting the takes the Hammer and starts to destroy Knoxx before something amazing happens.

Devon interrupts on the mic and Aces and 8's turn FACE and become my favorite group by kidnapping Brooke and making her disappear for good!

Okay, I can dream right?

Brooke struggles, Sting looks constipated… He has a BAT and a HAMMER but is powerless. HE NEEDS A CHAIN! IF ONLY HE HAD A CHAIN!!!

Thank God for Bully who shows up with the kryptonite that weakens the bad boys, A CHAIN! He saves Brooke while out HERO Sting stays in the ring. What a guy! Once Brooke is safe, Sting "helps" Bully. What an insane Icon role model! Yeah Sting!

Hulk appears on the ramp, arms folded and looking suspicious. Is he wondering why Sting did not help? Is he wondering why Sting did not have a chain? Is he wondering why we still tune in? We'll find out after commercial break!

***Back from Commercial…

Aces and 8's are gone…Hogan and Sting are in the ring with Bully and Brooke. Hogan guesses that he is supposed to be thankful to Bully for saving Brooke from a group of guys that get beat up by a 54-year old man on a regular basis. Hogan says he does not trust Bully, he's not for real and he's not the man for his daughter. Got to give Hogan credit…he has shown more emotional range in the last three weeks in this crappy angle that would have done wonders while he was laying Mr. Nanny in that crappy movie.

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