His thoughts on his new MITB briefcase: "The new, the improved, the Sandowized briefcase. It's ostrich skin. It is actually water proof, as well as it floats. [Sam Roberts: I didn't realize ostrich skin was waterproof.] No, no. Ostrich skin is on the outside. The actual construction of this is made out of a material that was developed by NASA, but I can't quite say what it is. So we'll just leave that at that.
"However, due to Cody Rhodes heinous actions with my Money in the Bank briefcase when he threw it into the Gulf of Mexico, and it sank like the Titanic, I had to go in and retrieve it, and I was unsuccessful. This something that people are quite shocked, that I was not able to retrieve the briefcase. Well, come to find out, and this was just a few days ago, that a 12 foot tiger shark was pulled out of Corpus Christi just feet from where I jumped in to retrieve my briefcase. So I the survivor of a potential shark attack and due to my act of bravery, the Discovery Channel has named a week after it, Shark Week."
Was it exciting when he found out he was being brought up to TV with the Damien Sandow gimmick: "The exciting news is that I get to help people, because see, unlike most WWE superstars, I am not in this for myself, but for the betterment of the unwashed masses of the WWE Universe. Every time I have a microphone, I get to set an example and teach people how to better their lives and what better job could you ask for?"
How does he know the unwashed masses are unwashed: "One can only pay attention to when I come out, the reception I get, they are unwashed. Perhaps physically, but emotionally and intellectually unwashed is the metaphor for which I speak."
Does he think there's been an improvement in the audience since he's arrived: "Slowly. It's slowly coming around, but it is a battle that I fight on a daily basis and will continue to do so."
You can check out the whole interview above.
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