Total Divas Recap: Nikki's Neck Problems, Eva And Mandy Bikini Pool Shoot, Rosa's Baby Shower, More

Rosa is heavily pregnant. Which can only mean one thing: E! Ratings-instigated Baby Shower. Anyway, Rosa wants to do the whole deal in LA. Alicia strongly urges her to do it in Florida. Alicia says she has only Rosa's best interests at heart.* (* Alicia's interests.)

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Rosa gets upset at her friend's insistence about the location of the shower and ends up an emotional, hysterical mess. Which is good for a pregnant woman, obviously.

Um, I'm not exactly an expert on social etiquette here, but can you really tell a woman what to do about her own baby shower? Just buy her some Macy's baby clothes vouchers or a copy of The Cat in the Hat and let her do her own thing for Goodness' sake. Oh, Alicia. Sometimes being a good, loyal friend just means going to someone's Amazon wishlist.

Later, when she downplays Rosa being six months' pregnant as no big deal because "I'm on my period too!" you do have to wonder if Foxy hasn't gone a bit mad.

(It's at times like this I'm glad this show is, like, 99% scripted. Otherwise you'd be wondering why these women are so dysfunctional and crazy.)

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Meanwhile, Eva Marie and Mandy do to a sexy pool shoot in their bikinis, complete with lots of lustful close up shots. They're both very beautiful, of course, but considering this is a show aimed mostly at women, I'm not sure the point of scenes like this. You can't win over male viewers when none of them are even watching.

Also: Is it just me or are Eva's husband and Mandy's boyfriend possibly the same person? It's downright weird how similar they look. All this show needs to be even wackier is a long-lost twin storyline.

Meanwhile, Mandy asks Nattie to help train her. Having no other storyline on this show going on right now, Nattie accepts. Although she does grumble a little about having to spend her day off training a newbie who can't even show up on time. Mandy: The woman has kittens, you know. She can't afford to be frivolous with her spare time!

In another major storyline: Nikki is worried about her neck. Yeah, no spoilers, but if you follow the news even a little, this one ain't ending well. Brie is concerned about her sister's well-being. Like she's said to Bryan too many times to count: Your long-term health is not worth a few extra matches. Occasionally, Brie comes off as the smartest, wisest person on this show.

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Nikki and Brie's absurdly youthful-looking mother Cathy also urges caution but does seem OK with her daughter continuing to wrestle. After this scene is done, presumably Cathy returns to swanning around and bragging to everyone about she has two daughters in their mid-30s while they look on, impressed and stunned and asking what her secret is.

Later, trying to be a good boyfriend, Cena rubs Nikki's neck in a show of support. Amazingly, it doesn't magically fix her. Perhaps his superpowers are wearing off. John also randomly tells Nikki he bought 55 suits while in New York. For what, though? Going by Raw or SmackDown all he wears is T-shirts.

Also, in some rare good news for her: Nikki becomes the longest-reigning Divas Champion ever. "This will be a moment she can share with her kids!" Brie gushes. "Oh, wait. No. My kids!" The shade, man. The shade.

In other news from this show: Paige tells Nattie that her cats are better than Nattie's cats. Presumably this means war and the beginning of a Bret Hart/HBK-like decades-long feud between the two. Blood will be shed.

On next week's episode: Alicia and Paige tell Rosa to plan her child's birth specifically around their schedules. Meanwhile, Nattie plots to avenge the honor of her cats.

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