Another year, another new episode of Total Divas...and this one's a two-parter! SummerSlam season is upon us, kids, and the girls are getting ready for the competition. Of course, no SummerSlam would be complete without some, uh, total diva drama, and the ladies deliver in spades, clubs, diamonds, and hearts. So, let's get to it!
So most of the divas are boo'ed up and/or married, and Alexa Bliss is no exception. In fact, it was just revealed that Bliss has been engaged to WWE NXT star Buddy Murphy, and has been for two years. Unlike her other divas, though -- Brie Bella, Naomi/Trinity, Maryse, and Nikki Bella -- it doesn't look like Bliss is walking down the aisle with Buddy any time soon. This little factoid has caused a lot of distress for the poor girl, and she calls upon the other divas to help. (What are they supposed to do with this information again?)
Nia "The Rock's Cousin" Jax answers this siren call of distress, and informs Alexa that she doesn't feel she really wants to marry Buddy, and is just finding excuses to avoid walking down the aisle with him. Of course, Alexa's concern goes a little bit deeper than that -- because Buddy hasn't moved over to Raw, and he's currently dealing with an injury, there's a strong chance that he'll get released from the WWE roster -- but no one has the heart to tell Nia. (Or maybe they have and the old girl refuses to listen...both are possible, at this point...)
Perhaps it's the possibility that they'll become a one-income household that's preventing Bliss from becoming Mrs. Buddy Murphy.
Nia, for her part, is shown the high life in New York by the Bellas and Maryse, and her time in NYC includes a "speed dating" session with some really lucky or really unlucky firefighters (depending on your point of view). This inspires Maryse to organize her Sex and the City themed party, which is meant to be a follow-up to the prom party last year. (Hopefully Maryse realizes that there's more to Manhattan than Carrie Bradshaw, but we're not holding our breath...)
Meanwhile, no sooner do Lana and Natalya bury the hatchet that Lana has a beef to pick with another diva: Carmella, whose invitation to everything clearly keeps getting lost in the mail, because she never does anything or goes anywhere with the divas.
But perhaps there's a good reason: we'll recall from previous episodes that Lana has run ideas past the WWE brass to save her, uh, job -- and thanks to these suggestions, she got Carmella sidelined. At first, Lana doesn't "own" it, and tries to blame Natalya for the "bumping" of Carmella. Natalya, who's still smarting from the previous beef with the Ravishing Russian, isn't having it, and quickly corrects her. Lana, of course, makes a stank face -- but Natalya doesn't care, and proceeds to explain to Nia "The Rock's Cousin" Jax what happened.
"The suggestion that Lana made [for SummerSlam] led to Carmella not being on the show wrestling, but rather, just there in presence," she said, before telling Lana to "go take a nap" and Nia adding fuel to the fire by insisting that Lana is, indeed, crazier than cat sh*t.
Meanwhile, Natalya is stressing about her upcoming match against Naomi, and realizes that she, perhaps, needs a vocal coach (?!) before she goes back in the ring. (Lana thinks Natalya's voice is too deep and she has no problem telling her as much.)
Nia finds the idea absurd, and tells her as much, too.
But Lana isn't done with the drama yet, because after Rusev finds a photo of his wife kissing Natalya at the Cabo shindig, he gets the wrong idea (wait, wasn't the male fantasy to see two women kissing and doing a whole lot more?), and the two get into an argument.
And the episode concludes with more beef -- specifically, with Carmella yelling at Lana and having all the old -- and new -- beefs come to the forefront. Will they be able to repair their friendship in time for SummerSlam? (Dun dun duuuuun!)
Part 2 of the Total Divas SummerSlam two-part special airs next Wednesday at 9:00 p.m. EST. Check your local listings for the channel.