Impact Throwback Throwdown 3 Results (12/2): Team IPWF Vs. Team GLUW, Tori Nailbiter's In-Ring Debut, Sonny Sanders' New Client
Impact Wrestling presented Throwback Throwdown 3 on December 2, 2022.
This is the latest throwback event presented by Impact as wrestlers perform in a fictional mid-1980s promotion known as the Impact Provincial Wrestling Federation.
The show opens with a video recapping the storyline leading up to tonight's high-stakes main event.
Giuseppe Scovelli Jr. (Josh Mathews) and Pat Gorski (Matthew Rehwoldt) are on commentary.
Live in the ring, we begin with a big announcement. A medical student named Ross passes word to the ring announcer that International Commonwealth Champion Downtown Daddy Brown (Willie Mack) will not appear at tonight's show because he had his tires slashed. He was scheduled to be part of tonight's main event: Team IPWF vs. Team GLUW. Scovelli Jr. quickly gets into the ring and says he'll take Brown's place in the match.
Rapid Delivery Pete (Rich Swann) vs. Monty Moonlight (Zicky Dice)
Moonlight has a cocktail. Pete has pizzas.
After a variety of food and drink related hijinks, Pete wins with a rollup.
Scovelli Jr. and Gorski run down the rest of tonight's card and we head backstage where Dexter Petticoat (Crazzy Steve) interviews "The Evil Architect" Bill Ding (Trey Miguel).
Clock Out Match: Jack Hammer vs. Bill Ding
Scovelli Jr. informs us the genesis of this feud lie in Hammer and Ding blaming one another for the collapse of a building they were working on together.
To win this match, one of these men must climb a pole in the corner, grab the time card, take it to the opposite corner, climb up that pole, grab a hole puncher, and punch the time card.
Hammer (Andrew Everett) is in control early until he misses a big elbow drop and Ding goes on offense. Hammer tries to rally, but Ding uses a tape measure as a weapon to maintain his advantage. Hammer rallies once again and this time hits the elbow drop. Hammer tries to climb a pole but Ding cuts him off and carries him out of the corner. Hammer escapes but Ding has the tape measure again and uses it to keep Hammer at a safe distance for a moment before Hammer powers through the distraction.
Hammer climbs to the top rope and drops a double sledge hammer strike on Ding. Hammer climbs a pole but Ding stops him again. They trade strikes in the middle of the ring until both men go down.
Ding and Hammer both put on hardhats. They headbutt one another and both men go down again. They both recover and start to climb the poles. Hammer gets the time card. Ding gets the hole puncher. Ding knocks down Hammer and takes the time card. He punches it and clocks out Hammer to get the win.
Winner: Bill Ding
Otto Ottoman (Tom Phillips) has a microphone at ringside and welcomes Team Great Lakes Unionized Wrestling (GLUW). Walter Chestnut (David Penzer) introduces the members of his team: Neptune (Shera), Manfred The Mad Mammal (Beer City Bruiser), "The Devil Demon" Devon Damon (Crowbar), and the masked Lord Humungous (Big Kon). They install a GLUW ring apron and Chestnut is confident his team will be victorious.
Wanda the Werewoman (with The $304,000 Man) vs. Georgia Cobb
Wanda (Savannah Evans) tries to overpower Cobb (Jordynne Grace) but Cobb recovers and hits a DDT for an early pin attempt. Cobb squeezes Wanda's head between her legs and slams her repeatedly on the mat for another pin attempt.
Wanda rakes Cobb's back to take back control. She tosses Cobb to the floor where The $304,000 Man (R.D. Evans) hits Cobb with his cellular telephone and rolls her back in the ring. Wanda covers for a two-count.
Cobb fires up and hits a series of strikes for a near fall. Wanda turns things around with a back body drop but Cobb fires up again with forearm strikes. The $304,000 Man gets up on the apron and grabs Cobb. Wanda charges into a boot by Cobb. She escapes The $304,000 Man and clotheslines him over the top rope to the floor. Cobb hits an elbow drop and gets the pin.
Winner: Georgia Cobb
We get highlights of Ladybird Johnston (Havok) defeating Miss Bea Haven (Alisha) on Thursday night's "BTI".
Back to the ring and Johnston is on the microphone to host her Tunnel Of Love talk show segment. She introduces her guest, who "you know from MTV," Tori Nailbiter (Rosemary). Johnston explains that Nailbiter is a rock star who wants to be a professional wrestler. Johnston wants to know who Nailbiter will pick to be her manager. We hear music play and "The Hit Maker" Sebastian Baker (Jimmy Jacobs) and Rusty Iron (Gia Miller) come to the ring.
Baker makes his pitch to Nailbiter for her to become part of his Hit Factory faction. Iron takes the mic and gets in Nailbiter's face. Nailbiter says Baker needs her more than she needs him and she will not be joining The Hit Factory. Nailbiter says she has chosen a manager and we'll meet them later tonight.
Backstage, Petticoat is interviewing Brian "Bone" Crunchin (Brian Myers) who discusses how his S.T.O.M.P. In Paradise tag team partner G.I. Broski (Matt Cardona) was found injured "last week." Crunchin has been looking for a replacement and implies he's found one. We'll find out shortly.
The Sunday Morning Express (Editor-In-Chief and Paperboy) vs. Brian 'Bone' Crunchin
No one is with Crunchin to start this match so we're getting a two-on-one match...at least, to start.
The Paperboy (Jack Price) takes control early but runs into a dropkick by Crunchin. The Paperboy manages to retake control and tags in the Editor-In-Chief (Chris Sabin). The Sunday Morning Express appears to be heading for a rout until music suddenly plays and "The Dynamic Dude" Shane Douglas heads to the ring. Crunchin clears out the Editor-In-Chief and Douglas hits the Paperboy with a belly-to-belly suplex to get the pin.
Winners: Brian "Bone" Crunchin and "The Dynamic Dude" Shane Douglas
We get backstage comments from a new tag team, The Leaping Lords, and they say they're coming for the IPWF Tag Team Titles.
Monsieur Baguette vs. 'Ornery' Otis Oates
Gorski thinks Baguette (Mike Bailey) is a mime. Baguette gets on the microphone and irritates the crowd until Oates (Deaner) makes his entrance. They start with a dance-off and Baguette is clearly outclassed. Baguette elects to keep his beret on for the match and goes to work on Oates until Oates fires back and sends the beret flying.
Baguette retakes control and pounds away on Oates until Oates blocks a punch and unleashes a barrage of strikes. Oates lifts up Baguette for an airplane spin. Baguette gets his foot on the bottom rope at the last moment to escape the pin attempt.
Baguette rolls out to the floor and starts searching under the ring. He finds a broom and throws it in the ring. While the referee is tending to that, Baguette pulls an actual baguette out from under the ring and hits Oates with it and that gets the pin. Scovelli Jr. assumes the baguette was loaded.
Winner: Monsieur Baguette
Ottoman is back at ringside and insults the eyesight of Petticoat. Ottoman introduces his guest at this time, a young upstart in the pro wrestling business, Tommy Dreamer. Fans chant "ECW" and Dreamer says ECW was one hell of a territory in Philadelphia. Dreamer says Pelvis Wesley (Heath) has been running the IPWF territory for long enough. Dreamer says he got a call from "The American Dream," who offered to be with him tonight but Dreamer said this is something he has to do himself. Dreamer vows to win tonight or he'll leave the IPWF forever.
Tommy Dreamer vs. Pelvis Wesley (with Colonel Corn)
If Dreamer wins, he gets three minutes alone in the ring with The Colonel (John E. Bravo). If he loses, he must leave the IPWF. Gorski is stunned to see a youngster like Dreamer putting it all on the line so early in his career.
"He has a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long career ahead of him," Gorski later added.
Wesley gets right to stalling. Dreamer finally pursues him out to the floor, where The Colonel helps Wesley gain the advantage by dropping Dreamer crotch-first onto the ringside barricade.
Wesley works over Dreamer for a bit, but misses a leg drop and Dreamer starts to rally. Dreamer bites Wesley in the corner and delivers some Dusty Rhodes offense. The Colonel gets up on the apron to distract Dreamer and Wesley hits the Shake, Rattle & Roll. Dreamer kicks out for a big near fall. Wesley holds Dreamer for Corn but Dreamer escapes and hits a DDT on Wesley and that gets the pin.
Winner: Tommy Dreamer
Tommy Dreamer vs. Colonel Corn (with Pelvis Wesley)
Colonel Corn quickly gets in the ring and starts stomping on Dreamer. The bell rings and the five minute time limit is now running. Corn pounds on Dreamer in the corner. Wesley gets in a cheap shot from the floor.
Dreamer fires up and is suddenly impervious to The Colonel's offense. Dreamer does the Hulk Hogan routine but Wesley cuts off the leg drop. The Colonel pulls a foreign object but Dreamer evades and locks on a Cobra Clutch. Wesley distracts the ref and The Colonel hits Dreamer with the object and falls backward while still in the hold. The referee counts Dreamers shoulders down and The Colonel gets the win.
Winner: Colonel Corn
We go to backstage comments from The Auto-Bodies: Smoky Muffler (Mickie James) and Busty Transmission (ODB). Many automobile puns ensue.
The Auto-Bodies (Busty Transmission and Smoky Muffler) vs. Volcanic Activity (Lucy Luau and Tina Tiki)
Some posing to start and The Auto-Bodies get the jump on their opponents. Volcanic Activity manage to fight off The Auto-Bodies, who head to the floor to regroup.
Back in the ring, Tiki's (Tasha Steelz) hips briefly befuddle Transmission. Later, Tiki hits a big head scissor takedown on Muffler. Transmission gets back in and powers down Tiki for a pin attempt. The Auto-Bodies hit a double-team kick to Tiki's gut. Tiki finally fires up and trades strikes with Transmission and both women go down.
Luau (Gisele Shaw) tags in and runs wild on Muffler. Luau puts leis around the necks of both Auto-Bodies and takes them both down for a near fall.
Transmission pulls a wrench but Tiki catches her with a cutter. Scovelli Jr. and Gorski have no idea what that move was. Muffler retrieves the wrench and hits Luau and that gets the pin.
Winners: The Auto-Bodies
Backstage, Petticoat interviews Team IPWF and Giuseppe Scovelli Sr. (Scott D'Amore) He says his son is going to make things right tonight.
Exciting Division Title Match: Johnny Swinger vs. 'Fleet Feet' Keaton Fox vs. 'Bully' Biff Knuckles
This match will crown the inaugural Exciting Division Champion in IPWF. Scovelli Jr. and Gorski are struggling to wrap their heads around this crazy new one-on-one-on-one triangle match concept.
Knuckles (John Skyler) immediately does the schoolyard bully spot where he pushes Fox (Jason Hotch) over Swinger while Swinger is on all fours.
Knuckles and Fox end up down on the floor. Swinger climbs to the top rope, but decides that's too high and gets down to the apron and lands a double forearm drop on Knuckles and Fox from there. Exciting!
Back in the ring, Knuckles steals one of Fox's shoes, hits him with it, and then hides it inside his backpack in the corner. Knuckles later grabs Fox and gives him a noogie.
Knuckles puts the iron claw on Swinger, but Swinger fires up and breaks the hold. He also retrieves Fox's stolen shoe. They double team Knuckles, but can't agree on who should get the pin.
Fox climbs to the second turnbuckle but Swinger gets his boot up and Fox is out on his feet. Swinger takes down Knuckles and puts him in a Figure-Four. Swinger grabs the staggering Fox while still holding Knuckles in the Figure-Four and cradles Fox for the pin.
Winner and inaugural IPWF Exciting Division Champion: Johnny Swinger
We get a clip from the Tunnel of Love earlier tonight. Tori Nailbiter then makes her entrance for our next match and reveals her manager is ... Ricky Morton!
Tori Nailbiter (with Ricky Morton) vs. Rusty Iron (with 'The Hit Maker' Sebastian Baker)
Iron takes control and stomps down Nailbiter in the corner. Nailbiter fires up and they do a "cat fight" spot as they roll around on the mat. Nailbiter mounts Iron in the corner and hits a ten headbutts. That gets a two-count.
Baker picks Nailbiter's ankle from the floor and Iron retakes control. Baker chokes Nailbiter over the middle rope and Morton steps in to chase him off momentarily. Iron hits a pair of running splashes into the corner. Nailbiter fires up with punches but runs into a double clothesline spot and both women are down.
Nailbiter recovers and gets Iron in a Sharpshooter. Iron reaches the ropes and Baker passes her a foreign object. Iron tries to stab Nailbiter with it, but Nailbiter blocks it and takes down Iron. Nailbiter climbs to the top rope and hits a cross body for the pin.
Winner: Tori Nailbiter
Ottoman is at ringside to introduce tennis racket wielding manager Sonny Sanders (Sami Callihan). Ottoman insults Petticoat's eyesight, who shows up looking to fight Ottoman. Unfortunately, Petticoat can barely see and Ottoman escapes.
Sanders introduces his newest acquisition: "the real Nature Boy" Buck Humphrey (Caleb Konley), who is accompanied by Baby Doll! Humphrey boasts about his prowess and makes an Energizer bunny joke that's ahead of its time. He also tries to get "Wow" over as a catchphrase.
'Nature Boy' Buck Humphrey (with Baby Doll and Sonny Sanders) vs. DJ 2Large
Gorski admits he doesn't know much about "the rap music."
2Large (Moose) gets the crowd fired up and overpowers Humphrey early on.
Ottoman joins Gorski on commentary and claims he tried to fight Petticoat but he got away.
Humphrey slaps 2Large and then makes a run for it. 2Large is in hot pursuit, only pausing to gyrate near Baby Doll. Sanders tries to hit 2Large with his tennis racket but 2Large is a step ahead but Humphrey strikes from behind to take control.
Humphrey goes to work on 2Large's leg. He puts him in the Figure-Four, using the ropes for added leverage. 2Large finally reverses the hold to escape and fires up. He lands a corner splash and a body slam but misses a leg drop. Humphrey tries for the Figure-Four again but 2Large pushes him off. Humphrey goes over the top rope and races to the top turnbuckle a la Ric Flair but 2Large throws him off.
Baby Doll distracts the referee as Humphrey and Sanders try to take out 2Large but the racket shot misses its mark and 2Large hits a lariat to pin Humphrey.
Winner: DJ 2Large
Baby Doll leaves with 2Large.
Gorski mentions the IPWF will be bringing its Bash at the Beach event to Omaha, Nebraska. He and Ottoman run down the card for "next week" – The Leaping Lords vs. Xcessive Force. Plus, a first blood match between Otto Ottoman and Dexter Petticoat.
Rival Survival Tag Team Elimination Match For Control of IPWF: Team IPWF vs. Team GLUW
Team Impact Provincial Wrestling Federation is Tim Burr (Josh Alexander), Frank The Butcher (Rhino), "Cowboy" Colt McCoy (Eddie Edwards), and Giuseppe Scovelli Jr. with Giuseppe Scovelli Sr. in their corner. Team Great Lakes Unionized Wrestling is Neptune, Manfred The Mad Mammal, "The Devil Demon" Devon Damon, and Lord Humungous with Walter Chestnut in their corner.
This match is the result of Scovelli Jr. selling his shares in the IPWF to Chestnut. Everyone brawls to start. Manfred and Burr end up in the ring. Damon tags in and works over Burr. He manages to tag in Frank who runs wild for a bit but Lord Humungous also tags in and he dispatches of Frank for the first elimination.
McCoy and Manfred enter and we get a lot of biting from Manfred, but McCoy outsmarts him and feeds him Humungous' arm instead. Burr tags in and he and McCoy manage to take down Humungous. Scovelli Jr. wants to tag in and McCoy obliges. Scovelli Jr. hot dogs for a bit and Humungous whips him into the corner. Scovelli Jr. hops to the second turnbuckle and immediately starts favoring his leg. He rolls out of the ring to the floor.
Burr enters the match and gets bitten by Manfred. Neptune takes over but Burr starts fighting back with chops and rolls up Neptune to eliminate him.
Damon enters and quickly overwhelms Burr. He manages to escape and tag in McCoy, who runs wild on Manfred, sending him to the floor. Damon enters and gets a jawbreaker from McCoy and an ax handle from Burr and Damon is pinned and eliminated.
Humungous enters and beats down on McCoy. Scovelli Jr. is still down on the floor favoring his ankle. McCoy gets some space and tags Burr, who chops away on Humungous and Manfred. Humungous spills out of the ring but Manfred counters the double ax handle by Burr. Burr gets his actual ax and hits Manfred and the referee catches him and disqualifies Burr, eliminating him from the match.
McCoy tries for a quick cover on Manfred but he kicks out. Humungous tags in and pounds on McCoy in his corner. McCoy evades Humungous and Manfred but there's no one to tag. McCoy escapes another double team and hits a drop kick to both men from the second turnbuckle. Scovelli Sr. tries to get junior back in the match but he can't got so senior gets up on the apron and starts taping his wrists. McCoy tags him in and he runs wild on Humungous and Manfred.
We get stereo ten-count punches in the corners by Scovelli Sr. and McCoy. Humungous and Manfred reverse their whips out of the corner but Scovelli Sr. and McCoy do-si-do in the middle of the ring and fire back, but in the chaos the referee gets knocked down. Manfred holds McCoy for Humungous but McCoy ducks and Manfred gets hit. McCoy and Scovelli Sr. hit stunners to both men. Scovelli Jr. crawls into the ring and counts the pinfall for both men.
Winner: Team IPWF
After the match, Scovelli Sr. plants Chestnut with a fireman's carry Michinoku driver as Team IPWF celebrates.
That's our show!