Hulk Hogan Lays Down The Laws On Dating His Daughter

Thanks to Jeremy Horn for sending in the following:

Hulk Hogan recently went on a rant in FHM in regards to his daughter s dating life and here s what he had to say:

I run a tight ship here, and if you want to date my daughter, Brooke, you must obey the Hulk Hogan Demandments. They re not commandments – they re demandments. Obey them, and you might pass the test.

First off, you have to be clean-cut. If you re a jabroni-you know, tattoos, piercings, purple hair and all that crap-it s not happening. Not in this lifetime.

You must be respectful. When you come over to my house, I don t expect a present, but I do expect you to call me Mr. Hogan and that you bring your best behavior, values, and manners. If you come over, and for some reason I m not around, stay out of my office and my gym. I don t want my stuff messed with.

Before you take my daughter anywhere, you need to spend some quality time at our house with the family so we can get to know you. That s also when I ll be checking to make sure your pupils aren t dilated and that your eyes aren t jitterbugging all over the place-drugs and alcohol are a definite no-no.

I prefer that you re not a wrestler. If you re meek and mild, I can put the fear of God into you more easily.

You have to be modest. If there s one thing I can t stand, it s cockiness! We had that Aaron Carter kid come by once wanting to date my daughter. He lasted about an hour in my house before I kicked him out. Brooke somehow talked me into inviting him over, and once he was here, he started putting his feet up on the furniture and going into the refrigerator without asking. Finally, I told him to hit the highway.

If I do finally allow you to take Brooke out, I demand that she s returned home on time and that she call to check in every half-hour. I have GPS installed in her car, so I know where you re going. I can also remotely shut her car engine down if I think something funny is going on.

Keep your hands to yourself-and that s not even a demandment, that s standard procedure if you want to live.

I ve also taught Brooke how to defend herself. She s been boxing for three years now and can throw one hell of a right cross. I ve taught her some submission holds if somebody puts their hand in the wrong place and basic self-defense stuff like the heel stomp, the crotch shot and the thumb-in-the-eye technique. But no one has been stupid enough to disrespect Brooke like that. It would be trouble if they did: I m not afraid of a good lawsuit.