WWE Smackdown! Opener:
The show starts with a recap of Batista’s return last week, and his subsequent decimation of the World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry. Tonight, there will be a contract signing between Henry and Batista for the Great American Bash, as well as a United States Title Match between Bobby Lashley and Finlay, and the Divas Boot Camp.
In the arena:
Now, in the ring is King Booker, with Sharmell and Regal, who reads a royal decree that King Booker will defeat Rey Mysterio for the World Heavyweight Championship at the Bash. Regal then vows that he will reign victorious over Rey Mysterio tonight in his match, for Queen Sharmell and King Booker. Booker thanks Regal, and says he will defeat Mysterio for the World Title at the Bash. Booker then says that when Batista was making his return, that he was in the back giving Rey a royal beating.Footage is played of when Rey tried to help Batista, and Rey is shown getting helped to the back. Booker T then comes out of nowhere, and attacks Rey, and basically wrecks the living hell out of the World Champion, capped off with a groin kick from Sharmell. Booker says Rey’s fairy-tale dreams are over, because of his divine intervention, and that everyone will bow down to him. Rey Mysterio’s music hits, and sneaks up on Booker, attacking Booker and Regal, and leaving them lying.
Referee: Jim Korderas
Matt Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy
Hardy cuts off Kennedy’s spiel, and floors him for a 2 count, followed by a back suplex for another 2 count. Kennedy sucker-punches Hardy, and snaps the arm on the ring rope, before charging Hardy aggressively into the steel post. Kennedy targets the left arm, and floors Hardy with a shoulderblock for 2. Hardy fires back, but Kennedy arm-flips him over for another near-fall.
Kennedy hits a snapmare, followed up by a modified hammerlock, but Hardy escapes, only to get hit with a mat slam. Hardy straddles Kennedy upstairs, and nails the superplex. Both men trade shots, and Hardy hits a bulldog out of the corner, followed by the Side Effect for a believable near-fall.
Hardy hits the diving Bionic Elbow, but Kennedy reverses the Twist of Fate into the Showman’s Neckbreaker for a close 2. Kennedy tries for the Twist of Fate, but Hardy counters, and goes for the Twist of Fate again, but Kennedy holds the ropes and lets Hardy fall for another 2 count. Kennedy drags Hardy to the center of the ring for a pin-fall, but Hardy gets a small package out of nowhere for the win!
Winner – Matt Hardy
Backstage, Kristal and Michelle are shown fraternizing and making fun of Ashley, until Ashley and Jillian show up, and instigate a catfight (and your Smackdown reporter can feel his brain melt).
In the arena:
Back to the audience comes the Great Khali, who stands atop the ramp at Daivari’s request. Daivari requests that Undertaker show himself or give them a sign that he is not afraid of Khali. Suddenly, the lights go out, and the bell tolls?and The Undertaker appears in the ring!!! Khali and Undertaker stare at each other, but the Deadman raises his hands, causing a lightning bolt to crash right in front of Khali and Daivari! What’s more, the Great Khali did not move at all! Daivari does everything he can to hold back Khali from getting to the Undertaker, and Undertaker strikes his pose (I am actually genuinely interested as to what a Punjabi Prison Match involves).
Referee: Chris Kay
Jamie Noble vs. Paul London
Before the match, it is announced that The Pitbulls of Noble & Kash will face the WWE Tag Team Champions London & Brian Kendrick for the titles at the Great American Bash.
Noble quickly goes after London with stiff right hands and chops, and London hits a sunset flip for a 2-count. Noble drops the leg after a body slam for a 2-count, and quickly gets a headlock, and hits a running London with a jumping leg lariat for a 2-count.
Noble gets a rear naked choke with a body scissors to a prone London, but London drives Noble into the corner, and hits Noble with a flapjack. London hits Noble with a big kick, followed by a belly-to-belly suplex, and springboards from the apron with a missile dropkick for a close near-fall.
Noble quickly gets the Pay Dirt, but London counters it, but Noble is able to take London down. Noble goes for the dog chain, and he is able to distract the referee long enough for his partner Kid Kash to hit London with a jawbreaker, stunning London and enabling Noble to hit a PICTURE-PERFECT Lung Blower for the win.
Winner – Jamie Noble
Backstage, the Diva Search contestants do nothing, and then we see Sylvan watching the whole thing on a TV, and plugs Quebec once again. Then, in the ring, a table is set up for the contract signing up next.
In the arena:
Back in the ring, General Manager Theodore Long announces that the match between Mark Henry and Batista will be for the #1 Contenders’ spot for the World Heavyweight Championship, and the winner will meet the World Champion at SummerSlam! He then says that if either ender. Long then introduces Batista and Mark Henry in turn to the ring, man lays a hand on the other, they will revoke their right to challenge for the right to be #1 Contender. Long then introduces Batista, and once in the ring, Batista says it is good to be back, and it is the thrill of his life to walk through the curtain. He then recalls how Mark Henry injured him earlier this year, and Batista removes is jacket and shades in a display of frustration as he says how much he’s hated watching Henry destroy superstars on Smackdown. For 6 months he has been sitting on hatred and pain, taking it out on those he loves, and that last week’s beating was a taste compared to what he has planned for the Bash. hen calls out Henry, who has a bandage on his head, and Long invites Henry to speak (Last mistake he’ll ever make). Henry says that nobody makes him bleed (Crowd: WHAT?), and that it took Batista and Mysterio to lay him out. Henry says he would detach Batista’s head from his body if his #1 Contender’s spot were not at stake. Both men sit and sign the contract, and Henry provokes Batista, who busts a hole in the table with his no hands. Batista keeps his cool, and Henry walks away.
United States Championship Match
Referee: Charles Robinson
Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley (c)
They lock up, and Finlay gets the clean break, and hits Finlay a few times, but both remain unscathed. Finlay gets a quick shoulderlock, followed by a headlock, but Lashley quickly returns fire with a 12-second delayed vertical suplex (with one hand!), as Finlay bails?
Finlay garners a 2-count, and throws Lashley into the steel post, shoulder-first. Finlay gets another near-fall, and Lashley tries to fire back, but Finlay locks in an STF-with-armbar, but Lashley gets the ropes, only to eat boot in the corner. Finlay catches the boot off the second rope, and Lashley hits the Benoit clotheslines, followed by a belly-to-belly throw, causing Finlay to bail and grab a steel chair?or four.
Finlay gets the shillelagh, and back drops Finlay, and grabs the shillelagh and throws it?all the way up the ramp to the curtain! Finlay misses a shot with the steel chair, and Lashley grabs the chair, but the referee gets rid of the chair, giving Finlay’s little bastard time to give Finlay the shillelagh and allow Finlay to smack Bobby Lashley with it, as the Irishman wins the United States Champion!
Winner and new United States Champion, Finlay
In the arena:
The Miz is on the top of the ramp (HOO-RAH!), and introduces the Diva Search participants. Then, he introduces the legendary Sergeant Slaughter. Each of them run an obstacle course, and waste valuable airtime, as there only seems to be 3 girls who actually WANT to be there. The Boot Camp involves an obstacle course, which a girl named Layla wins (who was one of the ones who seemed to want to be there).
Non Title Match
Referee: Nick Patrick
William Regal vs. Rey Mysterio (c)
King Booker and Queen Sharmell join JBL & Michael Cole on commentary?
Regal has Mysterio in a headlock, but Mysterio gets out, only to have his tilt-a-whirl head scissors reversed, as Regal gets some 2-counts. Regal eats boot in the corner, and Mysterio hits a victory roll for a 2-count, before pounding Regal in the corner. Regal crotches Mysterio on the ropes after Sharmell provides the distraction, and Regal works the face with his knee and foot.
Regal continues the punishment, and gets a quick Crossface, and reverses a wheelbarrow maneuver into a wheelbarrow slam. Regal gets an armbar, but Rey escapes with a monkey flip, and is able to hit the seated senton for a near-fall.
Rey hits a pair of standing dropkicks followed up with a running leg drop, and Booker accidentally provides the distraction so Rey can dropkick Regal’s jewels, and Rey gets the Bronco buster followed by the split-legged moonsault for another near-fall. Rey hits King Booker with a baseball slide, and arm drags Regal into the 619 position, which the World Champion hits, and Rey finishes Regal with the Frog Splash for the win.
Winner, the World Heavyweight Champion, Rey Mysterio
After the match, Rey hits the 619 around the post to the King, and Rey floors Booker with the seated senton, and Rey stands tall as the show ends.
Have a news tip or correction? Send it to [email protected]