WWE SmackDown! Results - March 07, 2008

-Nothing worth showing a video package on this week, so we get the Smackdown opening credits and a welcome from Michael Cole.

-Edge is already in the ring with Vickie Guerrero to kick things off.

-Edge welcomes us to "The Cutting Edge." He tells Vickie, who is still in a wheel chair, that she looks fabulous. He doesn't want to start things off on a negative, but Wrestlemania is looking to be a big disappointment. He says the end of Undertakers streak is coming. Edge says he has never lost to Undertaker and wants that to sink in with everybody for a minute. He calls himself the true phenom and Vickie concurs. She says the main event tonight will prove that point, as Undertaker will be facing Edge, Hawkins, and Rider in a handicapped match. Edge says Vickie is so hot, when making main event matches. Edge says Taker only involves one half of Wrestlemania, the other is his guest tonight on the show. He introduces Ric Flair.

-Woo! Flair struts to the ring.

- Edge thanks Flair for being on the show and tells him to take a load off and have a seat. Edge doesn't want to be presumptuous, but in 3 weeks it's over. No more limousine riding or jet flying. Michaels is going to put a stop to the show. Flair says the show will go on and he'll beat HBK and wrestle long after 'Mania. Edge jokes that their will peace in the Middle East and Brittany Spears will finally put on underwear. He wants to talk to Flair, the loser. Edge tells some fans to shut up then soaks in the heat. "You suck" chants rain down on Edge.

-Flair says you're fans are talking to you. Edge says Flair has lost to Taker at 'Mania and wonders how it feels? It doesn't feel good and it hurt like hell losing to Taker at 'Mania and it's a moment he'll never forget. Flair adds that Edge shouldn't worry about ending Taker's streak as much as him wrapping his hand around his throat and walking away with his belt. He calls Edge and Vicki's relationship a sham and scam. That Edge has used it to advance his career and he'll still lose his title to Taker. Vickie doesn't like people questioning their love still. She says Flair has no common sense. Edge tells her to cool that Latin blood and he's not letting Flair talk to her like that. He wants Flair to watch that 3-on-1 match closely tonight, because next week it'll be Flair instead of Taker. He tells Flair to not worry, because they won't jeopardize his career, just his physical well being.

-Vickie likes the idea, but she wants it to be in a steel cage. Edge "Woo's" at Flair who pops Edge in the face. They show Teddy standing on the side smiling. Flair leaves the ring and Edge looks on in disdain.

-We're a frightening 23 days away until Wrestlemania.

-Cole and Coach hype Batista vs. MVP for later tonight.

-Miz, Morrison, and Chavo are in the ring awaiting their opponents.

-Biscuits & Gravy! Jesse and Festus are two-thirds of their competition and headed to the ring.

-CM Punk gets his own entrance for this rudos & technicos affair.

MIZ & MORRISON & CHAVO VS. JESSE & FESTUS & CM PUNK

-Festus flips his lid and people are learning as the heels scatter out of the ring. Jesse tries to calm Festus down and Punk lends a hand. Festus gets on the apron and Punk will start it off with the Miz. They lock up and Punk puts in a side headlock. Punk gets hung up on the ropes by Miz who tags in Chavo and a back elbow meets him. Punk follows with a back body drop and tags in Jesse who hits an arm drag and dropkick. Jesse trips up Chavo in the corner and the action breaks down suddenly with Festus alone in the ring and everyone else ending up on the floor. They head to commercial 3:00 in.

-Back from the break Miz tags in Morrison who is in the ring with Jesse. He's got a keylock applied it appears and Festus is pounding on the turnbuckle. Miz tags in and cuts off Jesse from trying to make a tag, but Jesse kicks him away and gets in Festus. He clotheslines the Miz and runs at Morrison and forearms him off the apron. He slingshots Chavo in and then hits a shoulder tackle on Miz and a big splash. Now a big boot and Chavo and Morrison break up the 3 count. Punk gets in the ring and takes out Chavo, while Jesse goes after Morrison. Punk and Jesse hit suicide dives to the outside and Festus takes out Miz and gets the 3 count.

***Punk along with Biscuits and Gravy get the win in 9:00. (*1/2).

-Backstage Noble thinks McCool is hot for him. He tells her he isn't a one-woman kind of man. McCool who has no interest patronizes him and says she understands. Michelle makes weird faces.

-Cole says it's feeling a lot like Wrestlemania tonight on Smackdown. Does it, really? No, it doesn't.

-MVP vs. Batista is up next!

-Tick, Tock and MVP exits the moonwalk and makes his way down the ramp. Cole wonders if MVP can get the monkey, or animal off his back. Cole is quite the clever man.

-Batista gets his usual good reaction as he makes his way out. MVP holds the belt up looking back at him and Batista shoots his Uzi's at MVP in response.

-Coach and Cole hype Batista vs. Umaga at 'Mania. Could be good, could be a complete disaster. They tease that the 'Mania match against Umaga could end up a US Title match. They're milking the Tista entrance for a few minutes. MVP is psyching himself up outside the ring.

BATISTA VS. MVP- US TITLE MATCH

-The bell rings and they lock up with Batista backing MVP into the corner. They lock up again and MVP puts in a side headlock. Batista shrugs him off and MVP gets collected outside. Back in now Batista kicks MVP in the gut and after a ducked clothesline he hits another kick in the stomach. He goes for a running kick to MVPs head, but he ducks it and heads outside again.

-They start brawling on the outside and Batista throws him back in. He drives MVP's knee into the mat and puts on a singled-legged boston crab. MVP gets the ropes and bails to the outside again grabbing his knee. They head to commercial 3:00 into the match that so far has been the exact same thing as their previous bouts.

-Back from the break Batista is working on MVP in the corner. He hits a running kick to MVP's knee, which puts him down on the mat. Now a running clothesline in the corner and shoulders to the mid-section and a slap to the face! MVP reacts with a back elbow and kick to the knee that puts Batista down. MVP hits a running kick, but sells the work Batista has down on the leg in the process. "Ba-tis-ta" chants break out in the building.

-MVP with a headlock applied on the mat. Batista gets to his feet and hits a snap mare. MVP gets up and hits a dropkick to the knee for 2. MVP keeps using the bad leg with kicks, but selling how bad it hurts afterwards. MVP with some forearms and a facebuster. Again, MVP selling the leg after having it hit on Batista's head. MVP chokes him in the ropes until the count of 4. MVP goes outside and hits an elbow to Batista on the apron and then the running kick to the skull. MVP gets back inside. Batista is brought back in and it's a 2 count on the pin attempt. Batista runs at MVP in the corner, who moves and the animal has his shoulder driven into the ring post. MVP runs at him with a kick and now Batista moves and MVP's foot meets the ring post. Batista runs back at him and ends up hitting a side slam for a 2 count. MVP comes back and counters a move for a 2 count.

-He goes for the playmaker and Batista counters with a spinebuster. He goes for the Batista bomb and MVP goes for a low blow. Batista blocks it and MVP runs away to the outside. Batista follows him out and they end up going into the front row. MVP gets back in the ring and as Batista is trying to get back in MVP kicks him away and the match ends in a count out.

***MVP wins by count out in 15:00. (**1/4). Why is Batista messing with MVP still when he has Umaga in 3 weeks? Where is Matt Hardy?

-Coach and Cole head to the Raw footage of Finlay and JBL with Hornswoggle. Then they go to break afterwards. They did some odd flashes of footage in black and white of JBL beating on the leprechaun in the cage from a couple of weeks ago to the lights out screams in the hospital.

***2nd HOUR

-Edge is rubbing Vicki's shoulders backstage when there is a knock at the door. Noble enters and he doesn't want to get between them, but he wants Palumbo tonight. Vickie asks if Noble realizes Chuck is bigger then him. Noble doesn't care because he'll take on guys 10 feet taller then him. Vickie says Palumbo has got a match with Kane tonight and tells him he can face the Big Show tonight. Noble isn't happy about this.

-Coach and Cole talk about the WWE HOF '08 inductees. The video package from Raw on Mae Young is shown.

-Coach and Cole plug "Wrestlemania Rewind" this Monday on Raw. Now they go to a promo video for the show. It's 3 hours!
-Kim Kardashian will be 'Mania to waste some of the estimated 3 hours and 45 minutes.

-Bikini contest time!

-Eve comes out first. Cherry is next with her roller skates over her shoulder. Maryse is next down the ramp who has managed to get the biggest pop. Victoria now down the ramp. Last is Michelle McCool.

-Coach says that over the next 4 weeks they will all be competing to be the top Smackdown diva. The winner will receive a custom built motorcycle. I bet Palumbo will be jealous. Wow, this is just a commercial for the guy in Beverly Hills who will be making the bike. Coach says the fans at home will be deciding the winner by texting.

-Eve is up first. She disrobes to unveil her bikini and shows off by dancing.

-Cherry's turn now. She's shy about showing herself in a bikini. That's cute. Teeny weenie polka dot bikini!

-Maryse does odd mechanical stuff as she moves around in her bikini.

-Now Victoria disrobes and gets on the top turnbuckle and falls off! Then she gets mad and yells at people. I think that was on purpose? I hope that was on purpose.

-McCool is the last entry in the contest and rubs her ass on the ropes.

-Coach says if it was up to him they'd all be winners, but it's up to the fans!

-Now the divas are getting into it! Maryse gets shoved outside by Eve. Michelle and Victoria have a shoving match! Victoria spills to the outside. McCool ends up alone in the ring.

-They go back to a couple of weeks ago with Big Show destroying Mysterio. They go to the footage of his surgery. Mysterio says he loves what he does and nothing gives him the same high as performing for his fans.

-Kane is headed to the squared circle.

-Palumbo rides the diva bike he won last year to ringside.

KANE VS. CHUCK PALUMBO

-They lock up to start and Kane backs Chuck into the corner. Chuck slips around and hits some big right hands, while Kane comes back with his own fists. He then hits the basement dropkick. He runs at Chuck in the corner, but is met with an elbow. Chuck now hits a clothesline. Cole says Chuck performs like his motorcycle in the ring. What?

-Chuck with a series of punches in the corner and hits his short leg clothesline for a 2 count. Chuck gets met with a big boot and clothesline now. A couple of punches by Kane that put Chuck on the mat and a couple of clotheslines followed by a side slam. Big boot from Chuck as he goes over to Kane, Kane grabs him by the throat and hits the chokeslam. That gets the win and Chuck is squashed!

***Kane picks up the win in 3:00.

-Big Show is shown wandering the halls. His match with Noble is? next!

-They go back to Raw and show the horrid "MMA" segment.

-They show Freddie Roach talking about the match. Now Michael Buffer and Tommy Hearns. Buffer calls it "David meets Goliath." Good one!

-Big Show makes his way to the ring.

-Noble is already in it.

BIG SHOW VS. JAMIE NOBLE

-After the bell Noble stick and moves around Big Show and then gets knocked down. Noble hits a low blow and they call for the bell.

***Big Show wins by DQ in 1:00.

-After the match Big Show pounds on Noble. He hits some jabs to the torso and Noble is down in pain. Big Show picks him up and does it again. Cole says the referee is afraid to step in and stop it. Noble is bleeding. I think it's supposed to be internal injuries from the body blows.

-Big Show gets a mic and says most of you don't like me, but they like Mayweather even less. He says not only the people in the crowd, but the guys in the locker room too. Again Show mentions the $20 million and asks Floyd if it's worth ending your career for. Big Show says after 'Mania his career will be bankrupt.

-They hype the main event, up next!

-The Raw Rebound airs. It's the playboy cover sketch.

-Next week its MVP vs. Batista in a return title match, but no holds barred style!

-Edge and his heads are in the ring out of the break.

-Taker gets his long entrance.

EDGE & HAWKINS & RIDER VS. UNDERTAKER

-Rider starts it off with Taker who gets thrown into the turnbuckle of his teammates. Now he's laying into Hawkins in the corner and again throws him into his opponents teams turnbuckle. Edge jumps to the outside and Taker works on Hawkins some more. He hits an elbow on him in the corner. The story is Taker wants Edge to tag in, but he won't.

-Taker hits an avalanche in the corner on Rider. Edge pulls Rider out of the way when Taker goes for another avalanche. Rider goes to work on Taker now with boots. He pounds him with fists now and ends up getting a big boot. Rider comes back with a dropkick. He tags in Hawkins who drops an elbow. Now Rider back in who hits an elbow and with Taker wounded Edge wants the tag.

-Edge comes over to Taker who surprises Edge by grabbing his throat, and ends up hitting a DDT. Rider now comes in and gets hit with a clothesline. Taker goes old school and ends up hitting an arm drag out of it. Now the snake eyes and big boot. Edge makes a blind tag and now he gets a big boot. Taker goes for the inverted triangle choke and Rider breaks it up. He catches Rider and Hawkins with a double chokeslam now. Edge runs over and hits Taker with a spear and ends up getting the win.

***Edge & Hawkins & Rider get the win in 6:00. (1/2*)

-Edge and his lackeys head up the ramp while Taker looks on very angry.

-We get a promo package for Edge/Hawkins/Rider vs. Flair in a steel cage next week.

OVERALL: I hate to say it, I really do, but this was an awful show. Well over half of it had absolutely zero to do with 'Mania.

Why hasn't Regal sent "Umanga" to Smackdown to take out Batista? Why is Batista caught up in a feud with MVP still when the two won't meet at 'Mania? Is Matt Hardy really still not healthy enough to compete? He appeared at a house show recently, so what's really going on here? This is a huge waste of time taking all the focus off of 'Mania. Maybe Matt will come back and cost MVP the title in the no holds barred match against Batista? That would finally get us somewhere, but with only 2 weeks until Mania from there didn't they waste a ton of time?

Any contest to crown the best Smackdown diva is a huge waste of time. Aren't these kinds of things for house shows? It seems like this is all worked for McCool to win and get the bike to continue a storyline with Chuck. Maybe Chuck will be jealous of the diva bike and take it, which will resurrect his "Chuck" of "Billy & Chuck" character? I really hope not.

The Big Show/Mayweather build is a wreck. Having Tommy Hearns and Freddie Roach get in a sentence about it doesn't do a whole lot. They need to get more in depth then that in the boxing world. Maybe some would disagree, but having Michael Buffer talk about it doesn't lend a lot of credibility. Especially when he pulls out the David and Goliath clich?.

The opening segment was good for what it was, but again why is Flair working with Edge, when Flair should be busy with HBK and Edge should be focused on Taker? I get that they talked about Taker and Flair is one of the 15 'Mania victims, but that segment is not going to create one single buy for 'Mania. It didn't do anything to further either match. If HBK doesn't show up on Smackdown next week to either aid or hurt Flair in the cage match it's even further proof of being pointless.

The main event was a bad match, but at least a step in the right direction. Seeing Edge weasel his way to a victory over Taker furthers interest in seeing Taker finally get Edge one-on-one, but it was hardly great dramatic television into what's supposed to be the biggest match of the year for Smackdown.

WWE needs to get with it because all 3 shows are floundering in the midst of the biggest show of the year. They've lost so much time and momentum out of No Way Out already they really can't make one mistake the rest of the way if they expect this years 'Mania to reach the buyrate success of last years.