TNA iMPACT Results - December 11, 2008

TNA Impact on Spike TV
Taped in Orlando, FL
Source: Prowrestling.net

[Q1] The opening video aired. Mike Tenay and Don West wondered what Jeff Jarrett's reaction to facing Kurt Angle at Genesis would be. James Storm vs. Abyss on a "Beer Bottle on a Pole" match was announced...

The Main Event Mafia came out to the ring. Kurt Angle cut a promo on Jeff Jarrett and even said he is working in the company he wants to work for. Hmmm. AJ Styles came out and told Sting that he can go home and tell his kids he does things the right way, but asked Sting if he could do the same.

Angle told Styles to come down to the ring. He agreed but wanted the Mafia to leave because it was between him and Sting. They complied. Styles said something to Sting and Sting hit him. The Mafia quickly attacked Styles. Sting sat back. The Frontline came down and ran off the Mafia...

Backstage, Jeff Jarrett said that from this point forward, he is the wrestler Jeff Jarrett and not the TNA founder Jeff Jarrett. He handed the keys to the kingdom to Mick Foley. Foley wished Jarrett luck and said he was going to pay a visit to the Mafia later in the show... [C]

[Q2] Tenay and West ran down the X Division tournament bracket. Backstage, Lauren interviewed the Machine Guns. Shelley says he always tells the truth and if he's lying, he's dying, and he isn't dead yet. He said he was going to win the X Division title because Detroit needs heroes...

1. Eric Young defeated Sheik Abdul Bashir in an X Division Title tournament match in 3:16. Referee Shane Sewell was suspended for two weeks without pay. Getting paid for not working? Not a bad suspension. Young won the match after Bashir and Earl Hebner shoved each other, distracting Bashir and allowing Young to hit a Northern Lights suplex with a bridge for the win...

Backstage, Brother Ray gave a pep talk to the Frontline. He said they were proud to stand by the Frontline. He called them the last of the old school wrestlers. He called Styles the future of the business and the next world champion. ODB gave Ray her flask. He took a drink and squirmed. He left to go to the ring to make Angle an offer he couldn't refuse... [C]

[Q3] Jeremy Borash said if you subscribe to TNA mobile, he will text you to tell you who Jay Lethal is going to pick as his tag team partner for his title shot. He then knocked on the door of the Mafia. Mick Foley came out laughing his huge ass off. The Mafia followed, patting Foley on the back and treating him like he was an old friend. Foley said the Mafia were a bunch of great guys but sometimes misunderstood...

Lauren interviewed Mrs. Twilling, Angelina Love, and Sarah Palin backstage. The girls were excited to be named to Palin's cabinet. Lauren wondered what cabinet they meant. Palin said TBP could not go to the White House looking like that and offered to give them a makeover... [C]

A vignette aired for "Brutus Magnum."...

During the Machine Guns' entrance, they stopped and shot guns with their fingers. However, they shot little p—y guns and not machine guns...

2. Alex Shelley (with Chris Sabin) defeated Jay Lethal (with Briefcase #2) in 1:56. Lethal paid more attention to Lethal and it cost him. Shelley won the match relatively quickly...

After the match, Sabin cut a sweet promo on Mick Foley, telling him to come down to the ring and give them the briefcase with the tag title shot. He also said Foley accomplished something the Knockouts have been trying to accomplish for months; he screwed the Machine Guns. All of a sudden, Suicide swung to the ring and laid out the Guns... [C]

[Q4] Backstage, Lauren interviewed Abyss and Matt Morgan. Morgan asked Abyss why he was such a dumbass to trust Robert Roode and James Storm last week. Abyss acted like a little b—h in trying to explain himself. Morgan told Abyss to take Storm out...

A Rough Cuts segment aired on James Storm. It was a very good piece that talked about Storm's childhood and how he got into professional wrestling...

3. James Storm (with Jacqueline) defeated Abyss in a Beer on a Pole match in 3:40. Don West dropped a nice line when he said, "Abyss is the underdog. Storm could find beer anywhere." They fought to the floor and Storm tried to use a chair, but Abyss punched it into his face. He went for the pole, but Storm hit a very nice superkick.

Storm grabbed the bottle. That was quick. Storm took a drink and ran at Abyss, but Abyss hit a Blackhole slam. Abyss picked up the bottle. Jacqueline came in and stole the beer bottle from Abyss. She ran up the ramp and ran into Matt Morgan. Morgan picked her up, but Robert Roode gave him a low blow. He then hit Abyss with a chair and Storm covered him for the win...

After the match, Matt Morgan had mild success in attacking Beer Money until the bottle was cracked over his head. Beer Money attacked Morgan but Abyss came back swinging a chair around. Abyss had a very pissed off look on his face...

[Q5] JB interviewed Sting and the Mafia backstage. He asked about what Sting had to say about Styles' comments from earlier in the show. Nash took over the interview and said he and "Steve" (Sting) talked about things earlier. Angle told everyone to pay attention to the monitor because Brother Ray was on his way to the ring...

Ray came out alone and wanted Kurt Angle to do the same. Angle came out and the two were in the ring together. Ray admitted that they wanted to rid TNA of the Mafia and vice versa. He asked what would happen when there was no more TNA. "What will guys like you, me, and Devon do? Will we be forced to sell our soul back to the devil?" Ray challenged Angle to a match tonight and said the Mafia and Frontline would not be in the building. He held out his hand and Angle shook it... [C]

Backstage, Ray told the Frontline to leave. The Guns had no problem getting the hell out. Ray said if he wins, the Mafia will be no more and if he loses, the Frontline will disband. Everyone left but Devon. Devon said Ray was crazy to think the Mafia would not be at ringside. Ray said he had to trust the handshake of an Olympic gold medalist. Devon reluctantly took off...

[Q6] Backstage, Angle shook hands and hugged the Mafia as they took off. Booker stayed behind and made sure Angle had things handled. Booker put over Brother Ray but Angle said he had it handled...

The briefcases were in the ring and Tenay informed us who would get what, next... [C]

Backstage, Palin and TBP showed off their new outfits. Palin said she looked like Jackie O. TBP did not know who that was. She compared them to Beyonce. They were cool with that. Kip James said they were hotter than her and was about to "reveal" Palin as a fake. Love grabbed the microphone and apologized for not paying attention to James as much lately...

In the ring, Curry Man and LAX awaited their fates. Some weird ass light show told us who opened their briefcase first. Hernandez's case was first to be opened. Some broad named Summer opened the case. Hernandez won a world title shot. As they were about to open the final two cases, JB dropped the lame "after the break" line that Ryan Seacrest does on American Idol... [C]

[Q7] Back from commercial, JB continued to play the role of the Miss America host. Curry Man got fired, which means Homicide won an X Division title shot. They actually brought out security to escort Curry Man out of the building. They did not even give him ten minutes to clean out his desk. It is like he stole something...

4. Christy Hemme defeated Sojourner Bolt in 3:32. After some back and forth action, Hemme won the match with a sunset flip pin. After the match, they shook (left) hands, but Bolt slapped Hemme in the face. They then broke into catfight mode...

Backstage, Lauren attempted to explain to the English speaking challenged Curry Man what it meant to be fired. They then aired a corny video tribute to Curry with the caption "Curry Man: 2008-2008, We barely knew thee." ... [C]

[Q8] 5. Kurt Angle vs. Brother Ray ended in a no contest in 8:36. Angle did not do his usual entrance, for he attacked Ray from behind instead. Ray was wearing Mick Foley's red flannel shirt. Ray held his own early. "He's just knocking the crap out of him," exclaimed West. Ray backdropped Angle to the floor and followed him out. Ray set Angle up at the side of the stage. He charged at about 2 mph and Angle moved. Ray crashed through the wall and the cameraman looked like he was mimicking The Blair Witch Project... [C]

Back from commercial, the bell rang and the match was thrown out. Huh? They were out of the ring for several minutes and now the referee calls for the bell? Ray was very bloody as both men fought next to what looked like a 6th grade portable classroom. Angle wanted Ray to stop. Ray told a fallen Angle that he was going to end his career.

In what looked like a C+ movie at best, Angle tried to appeal to Ray's sensitive side. Out of nowhere (oh my God; I'm shocked!), the Mafia attacked Ray from behind. They beat him up and tossed him into the garbage, but Sting walked away as it was going on. Angle told the camera that no one messes with the MEM...