WWE RAW Results (3/23) - 'Taker, Hardy, Flair, More!

Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, March 23rd, 2009 (USA Network)
Location: The Sprint Center in Kansas City, Mo.
Results by 411Mania.com

"Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event?"

We start the show with Ric Flair already in the ring after making his entrance off-camera. Hell of a way to start the show, that's for sure. Big pop for Naitch as he's introduced and gives the crowd a couple of "WHOOOOOO!!"s. He calls out Jericho right away, saying that on behalf of "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka and Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat, he accepts Jericho's challenge for the 3-on-1 handicap match at WrestleMania and he adds that the Nature Boy will be honored to be standing in their corner. He says that he can't compete, but he'll be only too happy to stand in the ring with three great legends and to hold their hands high after they beat him up and shut him up.

Jericho shows up on the Tron and says that he's heard all he's needed to hear. He says that he was a child when he watched the first WrestleMania and he remembers seeing Steamboat, Snuka and Piper when they were in their primes. He says that that was 25 years ago and that no one could have imagined that in 25 years, Jericho would be a bigger star than any of them. He says that he's going to explain just what it is that Flair has signed the legends up for. He asks Flair if he thinks that it's going to be like the movie "The Wrestler" and that this isn't a movie, it's real. He says that Mickey Rourke has the luxury of having the director yell out "Cut" and to sit in his trailer to have a cappucino to think about how he blew the Oscar, but they don't. He says that no one cares about Ric Flair anymore and that he's going to show them just how dire the legends' predicament has become. He shows up at the top of the ramp to MASSIVE boos, saying that he knew all along that the legends would accept his challenge. He says that the legends would accept it because they're afraid that if they stay out of the spotlight for too long that they'll be forgotten and washed-up. He says that they're afraid that they'll end up a nameless, faceless nobody like the hypocrites filling the arena. He adds that it's better to be a nobody than to drag their names through the mud a million times over. He says that it's going to be a vicious, disturbing and uncomfortable beatdown at WrestleMania and that all Flair will be able to do is stand at ringside with tears streaming down his face, begging for Jericho to stop. He says that Mickey Rourke will be at ringside to see what he's started and what he's done to these legends. He tells Flair that on April 5th, all of the accomplishments of the legends will be forgotten and they'll be remembered as washed-up has-beens that were beaten up, humiliated and euthanized by Chris Jericho.

Flair says that Jericho is wrong and that what they refuse to do is to be judged by an insignificant little punk that will never be hall of fame material. He says that they refuse to be told when it's over and that they'll make that decision on their own. Flair adds that they love being respected by the people for their accomplishments and that they respect the people that respect them. He tells Jericho that he'll be so proud to stand by his Hall of Fame brothers, his peers and most importantly his friends as they beat him. Jericho asks Flair if he's finished, but no he's not. Flair says that he's really looking forward to the Nature Boy standing in the middle of the ring at WrestleMania, finding Mickey Rourke in the crowd and inviting him to stand next to Naitch, the Hot Rod, the Superfly and the Dragon and for them to look at Jericho's broken body and then in front of 70,000 screaming fans in Houston and millions around the world go "Whoooo...".

Jericho cuts him off with a stiff right hand and starts HAMMERING on Flair against the ropes with a flurry of punches and kicks. Flair rolls out to the floor and eats more punches against the railing as he's split open hardway. Jericho rips Flair's suit off of him and beats him with it before pulling the shirt over his head to punch him some more. Jericho throws Flair over the announce table and continues to pepper him with potato shots before throwing him over the railing into the crowd. Jericho has Flair's blood all over his hands as he continues to beat on him, throwing him back over the announce table before ripping a piece off and hitting Flair with it. Lawler begs Jericho to stop on commentary, but he's not stopping. He strips off Flair's shoes and socks, throwing them into the crowd while continuing to mount Flair for punches. Jericho tries to goad Flair into fighting back and Jericho throws him HEADFIRST INTO THE RING STEPS!! MASSIVE BOOS!! Flair goes headfirst into the steps again and Jericho rips off Flair's undershirt, leaving him leaning against the railing, bloodied and battered. Jericho grabs a ringside camera and he.....BREAKS IT OVER FLAIR'S HEAD!!! Flair is SCREAMING as he lays on the mat with Jericho standing over him. The heat for this is off the charts. Jericho crawls down next to Flair and steals Flair's watch that he had made for his last match with Shawn Michaels at last year's WrestleMania. He puts it on the ring steps and STOMPS IT INTO PIECES!!! Jericho leaves to walk up the aisleway and he's lucky that he doesn't have people jumping over the railing at him. Lawler calls it the most humiliating thing he's ever seen in his life. Powerful, powerful opening segment.

We come back after the commercial and Lawler is distraught, saying that it was an absolutely humiliating attack and that there was no excuse for it. Before he can finish, he's cut off by Jeff Hardy's music and he's on his way down to the ring!

Match One: Extreme Rules
Jeff Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler gets the jobber treatment with no entrance and Hardy looks like a baboon's ass with the paint job he has on his face tonight. Not sure if that's the look I'd go for if I was trying to look intimidating, but I suppose. Michael Cole calls this a taste of WrestleMania tonight. Ziggler tries for a handshake, but Jeff Hardy kicks him in the gut and bullrushes him into the corner for some right hands. Hardy tries a jawbreaker, but Ziggler breaks it up with a knee to the face before rolling outside for a steel chair. Hardy with a low dropkick to avoid a chairshot and he follows with right hands in the corner before crashing and burning in the corner with Ziggler avoiding contact. Ziggler rolls outside to get a trash can and hits a weak shot on Hardy that gets a two-count. Ziggler sets the trash can up in the corner and puts Jeff up on the top rope, setting up for a superplex. Hardy fights him off and drops Ziggler onto the can with a sit-out front suplex. Hardy hits a Twist of Fate on the can and heads to the outside to grab the steel chair. He WAFFLES Ziggler on the back about half a dozen times and then rolls hits a SECOND Twist of Fate onto the steel chair. Hardy heads up top and hits a huge Swanton bomb. There's the cover and there's the 1-2-3!!

Winner: Jeff Hardy (pinfall, Swanton bomb) *1/2

(Glorified squash, but Hardy showed some fire which I hope he's able to carry into WrestleMania. I liked seeing him just go nuts with the chair as that's something that I've never really seen from him. His entire career he's lacked a bit of a mean streak and he showed it tonight. )

Hardy gets the microphone after the match and says that Matt saw this and that it wasn't Extreme, but what he feels at WrestleMania will be. We head to a recap of Smackdown last Friday as the Edge/Big Show/Vickie Guerrero love triangle exploded with Edge spearing Vickie Guerrero before spearing Big Show in the back as he tried to save Vickie. John Cena shows up and says that he heard that Vickie was under the weather, offering her a Get Well Soon card. It's a rhyming bit of nonsense with some funny bits as they play "If They Mated" with Vickie and Edge and Vickie and Big Show. Those be some ugly-ass babies. Cena gets his insults in about Vickie looking horrid naked and that he's going to take the title at WrestleMania. He promises that at WrestleMania Vickie will shed a tear because the next night on Raw, the Champ will be here!! Cole and Lawler hype Cena's appearance on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno tonight and then hype the main event featuring Edge and The Big Show.

After the break, we get the WrestleMania highlight package with this week focusing on WrestleMania 21, including all of the awesome movie parody commercials that ran before it. We get a ton of highlights from the show including Cena beating JBL for the WWE Championship and Batista beating Triple H for the World Heavyweight Championship. They also hype the debut of the Money in the Bank ladder match at WrestleMania 21, showing a bunch of the huge spots and bumps from that match. That leads to us in the ring with the Money in the Bank briefcase hanging above the ring.

Match Two: Eight-Man Tag Match
MVP, Kofi Kingston, Christian and CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin, Kane, Mark Henry and Finlay

MVP and Benjamin start things out and Benjamin hits a quick go-behind, but MVP breaks free and slips into a side headlock. Benjamin whips MVP off into the ropes, but eats a shoulderblock for a one-count. MVP off the ropes but he misses the Drive-By kick and Benjamin hits a German suplex with a bridge for a two-count. Side headlock from Benjamin now and MVP tries a belly-to-back suplex, but Benjamin flips over and hits a forearm to the back. Irish whip from Benjamin gets reversed into a belly-to-belly suplex and MVP tags in CM Punk. Punk with a snap mare and a stiff kick to the back before Benjamin hits a desperation jawbreaker. Tag to Finlay and he forearms Punk in the back before trying an Irish whip. Punk reverses and hits his running knee to the face, but gets cut off by a charging Benjamin before he can hit the bulldog. Punk kicks Benjamin off the apron, but Finlay attacks from behind, working over Punk's legs before we head to the commercial break!

Back from the break, Kane is working over Punk with a chinlock. Punk fights to his feet and hits some right hands, but Kane hits his big uppercut. Irish whip from Kane, but Punk ducks under his legs and hits a spinning back kick nearly in the balls before kicking Kane in the face. Tag to Christian and Kane tags in Benjamin. Benjamin swings and misses and Christian hits him with some right hands, dropping Benjamin onto his back. Irish whip from Christian and he hits a flying forearm before whipping Benjamin into the corner. Monkey flip try from Christian, but Benjamin lands on his feet!! Christian hits a rope-assisted kick and then kicks Benjamin into the second rope, flying over the top rope to hit a big uppercut. Finlay tries a cheapshot from behind, but Christian punches him off the apron before turning back to Benjamin. Christian flips over Benjamin's shoulder as Benjamin tries a powerslam and hits a reverse DDT. All eight men start brawling in the ring and Kane has MVP in the goozle, but Kofi Kingston hits a missile dropkick off the ropes. Mark Henry charges and knocks Kingston down with his running charge, but CM Punk comes off the top with a flying bodypress. Henry catches him and tries for a World's Strongest Slam, but MVP cuts him down with a chop block. Flying splash over the top rope by Punk on Henry. In the ring, Christian hits Benjamin with the UNPRETTIER!! 1....2....3!!

Winners: Christian, CM Punk, MVP and Kofi Kingston (pinfall, Christian's Unprettier on Benjamin) **

(Lots of energy from all of these guys, but with that many men in one match it's almost always going to be a clusterf–k. I've felt like six was the right amount of guys for MITB and this year with eight and all of the ladders and chaos, it might almost be too hard to follow. Decent enough match with everyone getting their spots in, but if this was how it's going to be at WrestleMania, MITB could be a total mess.)

Christian and Punk stand under the briefcase and admire it as Finlay comes in from the outside and DROPS THEM WITH A LADDER!! Finlay hits Mark Henry, Kane and Tony Atlas with the ladder before Hornswoggle comes in to celebrate.

That leads to another 12 Rounds preview featuring John Cena. It looks like an okay enough movie, but it's one of those that looks like it'd be good to watch on a cable movie channel on a Sunday afternoon with nothing else on.

Coming back from the break, we get the WrestleMania hype video with AC/DC's "Shoot to Thrill" before going back to the beginning of the show with the attack by Chris Jericho on Ric Flair. Cole and Lawler run down the rest of the show before we head to last week's edition of Raw and the whole deal with HHH showing up at Orton's house and terrorizing him. Orton says that at WrestleMania it's going to be Orton's Law and we see the main event of last week's show with HHH beating the holy hell out of Cody Rhodes before lowering the cage to further the beating.

Todd Grisham brings in Randy Orton and he asks what Orton thinks of HHH possibly having a psychological advantage heading into WrestleMania. Orton says that while HHH accused him of cowardice, he's never attacked anyone in their home with a sledgehammer. He says that he kicked Shane and Vince McMahon so hard, he could feel their head's crack. He put his hands on Stephanie, knowing full well who she was married to. He asks Todd if that sounds like a coward before telling Triple H that he needs to not forget who he's dealing with. Orton says that he's going to do something tonight that makes the previous assaults on his family seem tame. He promises that no one will call him a coward after tonight and says that Triple H and his family brought this all on themselves.

Match Three:
Edge vs. Big Show

Before the match, Chavo Guerrero wheels Vickie Guerrero down the ramp to the ring in a wheelchair. Commercial time!!

We come back from the break and Edge is coming out of the ring to check on Vickie. He tries to give her a kiss on the cheek and she DISSES HIM!!! BURN!! Lawler says that it's like the old saying "Hell hath no fury like a woman speared". That was actually pretty funny. Big Show makes his entrance and tries to check on Vickie himself, but she doesn't want anything to do with him either. Vickie's been listening to some Kelly Clarkson cause she's Miss Independent all of a sudden. Show stares down Edge and Cena shows up on the Tron. Cena wishes them both good luck and he says that he's in California ready to do the Tonight Show and that he wants to see them beat the holy hell out of each other. He reminds them that if they get obsessed over Vickie, they'll miss the big picture that is the Triple Threat at WrestleMania. He says that they can play it like a bad episode of Sex in the City or they can fight it out like men who deserve to be in the WrestleMania main event. He says that they'll need to fall back on that because after WrestleMania, it will likely be that both of them slept with Vickie for nothing.

The match finally gets underway and Edge ducks under a big shot from Show, mounting him in the corner for punches. Show shoves Edge off and hits a big clothesline coming out of the corner. He picks Edge up and drops him right back down with a headbutt that sends Edge rolling out to the floor. Show picks Edge up onto the apron and hits a HUGE hip toss back into the ring. Forearm to the back by Show and he looks out at Vickie, telling her that Edge doesn't deserve her. Show throws Edge back out to the floor and Show follows him out to the announce table, hitting a NASTY chop to the chest before telling Vickie Edge is weak. He throws Edge into the ring and tries to follow him in, but Edge hits a low dropkick as Show tries to get into the ring. Edge with a flurry of big kicks and Show just legsweeps him down. Edge stays on him and takes out Show's legs with kicks before hitting a DDT. He points at Vickie and then mounts Show for some punches, but Show just throws him off. Show hits a big press slam clothesline across the top rope and hooks Edge's arms between the top and middle ropes, Andre The Giant-style. Vickie tries to beg Show to stop and Show loads up the big right hand. Vickie sends Chavo in to try to reason with Show and there's the bell...

Winner: Who Knows *3/4

Show throws Chavo aside and turns his attention back to Edge, but Chavo hits a forearm from behind. Edge gets free of the ropes and tries to spear Show from behind, but ends up taking out Chavo. Big Show lines Edge up and DROPS HIM with a huge right hand!! Show heads out to the floor and looks at Vickie before showing her what he's done to her "husband". Show walks off as we see replays of the post-match melee. Uncomfortable looks from Show and Vickie close out the segment.

After the commercial, we see the highlights of JBL's Intercontinental Championship win over CM Punk from two weeks ago.

Match Three:
Rey Mysterio vs. William Regal w/Layla

JBL's music interrupts after Mysterio's entrance and he makes his way down to the ring with William Regal and Layla, giving them a ride to the ring like a Good Samaritan should. Regal makes his way into the ring as JBL joins Lawler and Cole on commentary. This should be good. JBL makes a great start by calling Lawler "King" and Cole "Queen". Regal and Mysterio start off with some chain wrestling and Mysterio hits a big monkey flip into a low dropkick that gets a one-count. Enziguri from Rey-Rey sends Regal into the rope and Mysterio tries for a 619, but ends up slipping outside the bottom rope to eyeball JBL. Regal attacks from behind, dropping him with a big forearm to the face. They make their way back into the ring and Regal just hammers on Mysterio in the corner with right hands. Irish whip into the corner by Regal and he follows with a European uppercut that gets him two. Regal works over Mysterio, throwing him back into the corner for more punches. Mysterio kicks Regal away with a shot, but Regal DROPS Mysterio with a huge knee to the face. Rey almost looks like he was knocked out legit there. Mysterio was playing possum though, kicking Regal in the face before hitting some right hands and forearms. He kicks Regal into the ropes and hits the 619!! Springboard splash!! There's the pinfall and there's the three count!!

Winner: Rey Mysterio (pinfall, top rope splash) **

(I loves me some Rey and Regal and they did well enough with the time they had. Rey did well to play possum, but the finish kind of came out of nowhere for me. That kind of lost me a bit, but outside of that it was a solid match.)

After the match is over, JBL stands and applauds Mysterio as he walks up to the apron. Rey responds by hitting a low dropkick through the ropes to send JBL sprawling.

After being totally turned off from WrestleMania by seeing that Kid Rock is going to be performing live at the show, The Undertaker has his work cut out for him here. Undertaker's already in the ring and he says that Michaels raised the stakes last week. He tells Michaels that his obsession with being "Mr. WrestleMania" has made Shawn unable to see the difference between reality and fantasy. He says that it's true that he's never beaten Shawn Michaels in a one-on-one match, not even once, but he reminds him that the last time they did battle, Michaels spent five years at home in agonizing pain trying to recover. Oh snap! Undertaker says that on April 5th, we'll find out if HBK is really afraid of The Undertaker and he reminds Shawn that when he's standing across the ring from him at WrestleMania and he's questioning his own faith, he has to remember that he was the one that opened the gates to hell. Shawn Michaels' music hits and instead of showing up, a video package shows up on the Tron, saying that Undertaker's streak is made to be broken. He's in a cemetery, saying that it might be sacreligious for him to be there, but he calls it defiance. He says that he respects Taker, but he's not afraid of him and he brings up the last sixteen WrestleMania opponents that The Undertaker has left to rot in hell. He says he's not afraid and then he runs down the entire list of Undertaker's victories, complete with highlights. He even touches on the horrible Bossman/Taker Hell in the Cell from WM XV. He points out that a fresh grave has been dug, surrounding by the darkness of death, but it's not for HBK, it's for Taker's undefeated WrestleMania streak. It won't just be buried six feet under, but it will be buried all the way to the evil depths of hell. Michaels kicks over the gravestone and watches it fall into the freshly-dug grave, saying "Undefeated streak....rest....in...peace". A new gravestone appears with a 16-1 etched into it as Michaels shovels dirt into the grave. When we come back to the ring, Undertaker is staring a hole through the Tron, pacing around the middle of the ring, nearly beside himself. Lawler wonders if the Undertaker is going to be the same at WrestleMania with Michaels getting into his head and if Michaels has a death wish. Another quality segment that makes me excited to see the match at WrestleMania and Michaels just continues his streak of over a year of quality angles, promos and matches.

From the commercial break, we see Santino Marella, Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mendes in the ring with Santino saying that there's going to be a 25-Diva battle royal with the winner to be crowned Miss WrestleMania. Santino says that he knows who the winner is going to be and it's going to be him!! He says that after Mickie James attacked him last week, he went to Vickie Guerrero and asked to be put into the battle royal. She told him that if he could beat Mickie James this week with one arm tied behind his back, he's in. He says that he's going to prove that he's man enough to be Miss WrestleMania. That unibrow of his is tremendous!!

Match Four:
Mickie James w/Kelly Kelly and Melina vs. Santino Marella w/Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mendes

Santino misses a charge right out of the gate and Mickie drops him with a single-leg, tying both of Santino's arms behind his back as he begs off. He finally makes his way back to his feet and yells that he doesn't need "no handsa to a beata you". She lifts her hands up for a test of strength and he kicks her legs out from under her legs, dropping to his knees with a pair of headbutts. Santino tries to do Bob and Doug Mackenzie proud with a steamroller, but Mickie gets out of the way. She hits a low dropkick and manages a two-count off of it before Santino kicks her down. Santino heads up to the top rope...or at least tries to. Rosa and Beth try to talk him out of it and he gets all the way up to the second rope before Mickie cuts him off. Beth gets up onto the apron and pulls on the top rope, sending Santino off the ropes into the ring. Mickie hits a big kick to the back of Santino's head and there's the pin. Mercifully.

Winner: Mickie James (pinfall, kick to the head) 1/2*

(Funny enough, but not worth the time. They really need to bring back the "B" shows like Heat for crap like this. I wonder if that's what they plan on doing with Superstars when that finally starts up.)

Cole and Lawler welcome us back to the show and then they tell us about the sneak preview coming up for 12 Rounds after Raw. That leads to YET ANOTHER preview of the movie. Honestly, if they promoted this movie anymore you could splice it all together from the footage they're showing on WWE TV week after week. That villain must not know his wrestling because he tells Cena's character that he's going to play the game. Wow, HHH is even burying Cena's movie. Now THAT'S stroke, my friends. After the preview of the movie, Cole and Lawler run down the entire WrestleMania card. Cole makes me laugh by calling the Money in the Bank ladder match the most emotional match of the entire card. Yeah, Orton/Triple H has nothing on eight random guys and a ladder.

Match Six: Handicap Match
Randy Orton and Ted DiBiase vs. Triple H

Orton makes his entrance and it's time for our final commercial break of the night! Once the commercials are done, we get to see a replay of the opening segment with Jericho beating the s–t out of Ric Flair. Lawler points out what I pointed out an hour and a half ago that Jericho broke Ric Flair's WrestleMania watch on the steps after the beating. Lawler challenges Jericho and calls him out, saying that if Jericho wants a legend, he can get a piece of him. Lawler looked like a carrot on steroids when he was challenging Jericho. He was nearing Hogan levels of pumpkintude. Triple H makes his entrance now and all three of them staredown as Triple H throws the belt down on the floor to not take his eyes off of Orton or DiBiase. He doesn't even do his trademark water spit so you know he's intense. Trips attacks, spearing Orton and hammering him with punches before attacking DiBiase as he throws Orton out to the floor. All three men brawl outside and DiBiase attacks from behind, throwing Triple H into the ring. Orton attacks Triple H from behind and DiBiase holds HHH for Orton to attack him with huge right hands. Orton screams at Triple H and hammers him out to the floor with a right hand. Orton follows him out and Triple H catches him with a right hand and rams Orton headfirst into the announce table. Triple H goes under the ring and HERE COMES CODY RHODES!! He was under the ring and he's got handcuffs! He beats up Triple H and they handcuff him before rolling him back into the ring. Apparently they only handcuffed one of Triple H's hands as he fights back with some punches, but the numbers game is too much. Rhodes and DiBiase handcuff Triple H to the top rope and all three of them circle, ready to pounce. They attack one at a time like a bad kung-fu movie and Triple H fights them off until they all attack at once, stomping Triple H all the way down to the mat. Orton heads out to the floor and gets a microphone as Rhodes and DiBiase continue to stomp away. Orton says that there's only one person that can save Triple H now and that "she" had better hurry. Orton heads under the ring and gets out a sledgehammer, talking trash to Triple H as he sticks it in his face. Triple H tries to fight back, getting some shots in, but they overtake him. DiBiase holds onto Triple H and Orton's ready to crack his head open like Gallagher with that sledgehammer. Here comes Stephanie to ringside and Triple H is yelling at her to get back and to go away. Orton says that it's up to Stephanie what happens next. Steph gets up on the apron and begs for Triple H's safety. Orton backs off and comes to the middle of the ring with the sledgehammer. Stephanie drops to the floor, but Legacy blocks her way. Orton grabs her in a front facelock as she tries to get back into the ring and hits the HANGMAN'S DDT ON STEPHANIE!! Triple H crumbles in tears, reaching out for Stephanie. Orton gets in his face and stays just far enough out of reach to avoid a beating. He smiles at Triple H and rolls Stephanie over onto her back. Triple H tries to grab Stephanie's ankle and Orton just beats him back, dragging her into the middle of the ring. Orton picks up the sledgehammer and stares down Triple H, threatening to hit him before turning to Stephanie again. Triple H begs him to stop, practically trying to gnaw off his own hand to get to her. Orton lays the sledgehammer down next to her and kneels down next to her face. He grabs her as he stares down Triple H, leans in close and looks over one more time before he KISSES HER!! Holy s–t, Triple H is going BALLISTIC!! Orton smiles sadistically and crawls over to Triple H again, laughing as Triple H reaches but can't grab him. Orton picks up the sledgehammer one more time and continues to stare, shaking his head before he LEVELS TRIPLE H WITH THE SLEDGEHAMMER!! Triple H drops into the corner, unconscious as Orton surveys his handiwork proudly. He looks at both of them one more time and as Triple H slowly comes to, he finally leaves the ring to a hearty chorus of boos. Orton stares at the sledgehammer and the carnage in the ring before walking up the ramp. We close the show with Triple H still trying desperately to reach Stephanie while handcuffed to the ropes.