WWE RAW Results (5/4) - McMahon Vs. Orton, More!

Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, May 4th, 2009 (USA Network)
Location: The HSBC Arena in Buffalo, NY
Results by

"Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event?"

-Live from HSBC Arena in Buffalo, NY

-Hosted by Michael Cole & Jerry "The King" Lawler

Randy Orton vs. Shane McMahon
Shane attacks Randy through the crowd as we start clotheslining Orton over the top to the floor before the bell. They fight back to the stage area, and Shane delivers a series of lefts and rights. To the crowd they go, and Orton regains control temporarily. Shane fights back eventually firing Orton over the barricade to the ringside area. Shane dives off the barricade delivering a clothesline to Orton, and then clears off the announce table. Shane sets up Orton on the table, and goes to the top rope. Legacy runs in to put a stop to that, and starts the beatdown on Shane. They hold Shane up as Orton delivers a series of blows, but that brings MVP out to make an attempted save. Eventually the numbers overwhelm MVP, and Legacy beats him down firing him to the floor. Back to Shane they go for the beatdown, but Batista comes out with spears and clotheslines for Dibiase and Rhodes as Orton slides to the floor. Vickie Guerrero comes out to make an announcement stating that her main event will not be jeopardized. Later tonight Shane will face Orton, and since everyone wants to get involved we'll make it legal. Tonight Batista will face Dibiase, and Cody will face MVP. Whoever wins can join Shane and Orton in their match. Bait, meet switch.
No Match

Matt Hardy vs. Kofi Kingston
Matt comes out milking his "broken hand" as he continues his Cowboy Bob Orton v 2.0 gimmick. Cole drives the point home stating that many think Matt doesn't really have a broken hand. Matt again states he is wrestling under protest because he's being forced to wrestle with a broken hand. They trade hammerlocks at the outset, and Matt gets the break by reaching the ropes. Matt grabs an armwringer, and takes Kofi down by the hair. Kofi flips out and chops the injured hand, so Matt slides to the floor. Back inside Kofi delivers a shot sending Matt into the corner. Kofi goes for a rollup getting a two count, and Matt comes back with a knee. Kofi goes to the second rope for a crossbody, but that misses and Matt takes control with a few kicks to the ribs. Matt drops Kofi down on the top rope getting a two count, and follows up with a vertical suplex for another two. Matt goes for another suplex, but Kofi counters into a neckbreaker. Kofi delivers a pair of knife edge chops, and a dropkick. A springboard crossbody off the second rope connects, and is followed by a jumping clothesline from Kofi. Double legdrop hits for Kingston, but Matt is out at two. Kofi hits the ropes, and stops a backdrop attempt with a kick. Trouble in Paradise connects giving Kofi the victory at 4:13. Afterward Matt attacks Kofi laying him out with a shot from the cast. Matt played up a lot of old school chickens–t heel tactics in this one, and while I like the old school feel to it and the way Matt is playing the role, the match wasn't all that great.
Winner: Kofi Kingston (Pinfall-Trouble In Paradise *1/2)

-Santino catches up with Kelly Kelly to tell her how much fun she is going to have tag teaming with his twin sister Santina this week on Superstars. Santino says she can't be here this week because she was breathed on by Vickie Guerrero and now she has come down with the swine flu. And this funny because Vickie Guerrero is pig like. Chavo shows up taking exception to that, and Santino hilariously mocks his theme song. Chavo asks if Santino is making fun of his aunt. Santino points out they aren't really related, and he's actually older than her. Chavo says Raw is under new management and if he wants to make it on this show he won't make fun of Chavo or Vickie. Santino says he understands and has a message for Aunt Vickie, and squeals like a pig. Does this mean Santino has officially turned face?

-We find that Vickie has been speaking with John Cena's doctors about his condition, and that leads to a recap of Big Show's attack on Cena at Backlash. This leads to a recap of last weeks main event and Cena's stagger in costing Show the match.

-Big Show heads into Vickie's office, and says they need to talk. Vickie says she can guess, he wants a match with Cena. Show says he not only wants to wrestle Cena, but wants to end his career. Vickie says that's impossible as Cena is still physically unable to compete. Show takes exception to that since he was able to come to ringside, and making him lose to Batista. Vickie reminds him that Cena has internal injuries and he won't be cleared for two weeks (how convenient). She says she'll make the match at Judgment Day instead.

-The Bella's introduce themselves to MVP (I guess forgetting that they were also on Smackdown together also). They ask him out, and he says okay but he has to win his match first.

Cody Rhodes vs. Montel Vontavious Porter
William Regal joins the commentary team, and gives his thoughts on the draft. He says it was great for Raw, but in the open we see MVP, The Miz, and even "that muppet" Mr. Kennedy who isn't even here to compete, but no Regal. Cody takes control early with a side headlock, but MVP reverses and takes Cody over. Cody reverses into a headscissor, but MVP is quickly out into a side headlock. Backslide by MVP gets two, and a jackknife cover gets another two. MVP goes back to the side headlock, and Cody shoves him into the ropes. MVP delivers a shoulderblock, but a second trip to the ropes is met with a knee to the mid section. Cody works over the leg over stretching out the hamstrings. MVP fights back with a pair of back elbows, and a throw as Cody comes off the ropes. MVP delivers a ballin' elbow, and Cody slides to the floor. MVP fires Rhodes back inside, but Regal clips the leg of MVP as the ref was tied up with Cody. Regal stares over MVP as the ref counts him out at 4:07. Not sure if this is an elevation of Regal, or a trip back to the midcard for MVP. Certainly seems like the former. Lots of interesting stuff going on here on the red brand.
Winner: Cody Rhodes (Count Out *1/4)

-Jerry Lawler hosts a sing off between Jillian and Festus. Jillian sings some horrible song and gets booed out of the building. Festus won't sing, so Lawler asks them to ring the bell. Festus starts to go nuts, and then sings "Tommorow." Crowd pops huge for this, and Lawler has them ring the bell so he will stop. Crowd obviously picks Festus, and Jillian is crushed. Finally Miz comes out to interrupt the festivities. Miz kicks Festus out of the ring, and asks that the fat bald virgin get out of his ring. Miz says last week he called out John Cena, and Cena didn't show which tells him that he's afraid of him. Miz asks if Cena really is afraid of him. He asks if Cena is back there begging that Miz won't call him out again. He asks where Cena's hustle, loyalty, and respect are. Most importantly where his self respect is. He calls Cena out again, and finally Cena shows up on the titantron. Cena is shown walking to the ring as we head to break abruptly.

-When we come back Miz is still in the ring chastising the fans for booing him. He asks why, because he's awesome and Cena still hasn't shown? Really? He asks. Cena still hasn't come out, and Miz again asks where he's at. Miz asks if he's scared, and asks if he's walking around trying to find his next movie script. He says he mailed it to the Rock because he ran out of toilet paper. BURN! He says Cena is all hype that is churned out by the WWE machine so the kiddies have someone to cheer for, and their cougar mothers have someone to fantasize about. So I get it, Miz's gimmick is that he's a smark. Miz says he is the most talented Raw superstar there is, and he is trying to prove it by calling out the biggest superstar on Raw. He says Cena always asks if you want some come get some, and he wants the whole damn thing. He wants the record to show that he again called out Cena, and again Cena didn't show. He claims that its now Miz, 2 Cena, 0. He demands Lillian announce him as the winner, and FINALLY Cena decides to stagger out. Cena slowly wanders out selling the injuries from Backlash. Cena climbs into the ring, and when he gets there Big Show decides to come out to confront him. Miz bails thus rendering the last ten minutes completely moot, and now its Big Show and Cena in the ring. Cena puts up his dukes, and Show stares him down. Finally Show attacks with a boot to the gut, and then delivers a series of shots to the ribs of Cena. Show methodically stalks Cena, and then sits down on his back with a modified camel clutch causing Cena to pass out. Show stands over the fallen Cena and soaks in the boos. Whatever they were going for it failed. Horribly. That was about the most brutally boring beatdown I've ever seen.

Mickie James vs. Maryse
Jared Fogle from Subway fame serves as guest ring announcer for some reason. The match is brought to you by Subway, so uhh yeah. Maryse goes to do her hair flip pose, but Mickie attacks sending Maryse to the floor. Mickie pulls her back inside, and slams her face into the mat. Mickie connects with the Lou Thesz press and Maryse rolls to the floor. Maryse sidesteps a baseball slide, and fires Mickie into the barricade. Back inside they go, and Maryse covers for a two count. Maryse grabs a reverse chinlock, and then hammers Mickie down with a forearm. Mickie hits a pair of dropkicks, and delivers a pair of forearms. Mickie goes to the second rope, but Maryse comes back to slam her off. Mickie ducks a spin kick, and then hits a DDT to pick up the win at 2:44. So I guess Mickie is next in line for a title shot. Jared has a cue card to announce Mickie as the winner. How convenient that they had a cue card with the winner's name on it.
Winner: Mickie James (Pinfall-DDT ?*)

Ted Dibiase vs. Batista
I'm not gonna lie. I don't like Teddy's chances in this one. DIbiase gets a kick, and then bails to the floor. Batista chases him back inside, but Dibiase attacks once Batista rolls inside. Batista comes right back with a knee to the gut, and a bodyslam. Short clothesline connects for Batista, and he goes for a running powerslam. Ted slides down the back, but gets caught in a Batista Bomb attempt. Dibiase squirms free, but gets hit with another clothesline. Batista hits the ropes and delivers a forearm to the back. He goes for a kick which Dibiase ducks, and then Teddy hits a dropkick. Dibiase hits the ropes, and stops a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face. Spinning neckbreaker connects for Dibiase getting a two count, and he grabs in a headlock. Batista comes up and powers Dibiase into the corner, and then an Irish whip to the opposite corner is followed by a clothesline. Batista delivers a pair of shoulderblocks, but after an Irish whip Dibiase gets a drop toehold sending Batista into the second buckle. Dibiase goes to the second rope, but jumps into the boot of Batista. That is followed by a series of shoulderblocks in the corner. The ref pulls Batista off, and Dibiase slaps him. Batista goes back to the corner, and the unloads on Dibiase in the corner. The referee counts to five, but Batista won't break and he's forced to disqualify Batista at 4:05. I must mention the referee for this match was Scott Armstrong. This is about the third time I can think of that he has had a questionable call that benefited Legacy. Not sure if its intentional or not, but if its leading somewhere its one of the better jobs of slow burn foreshadowing WWE has done in a long time.
Winner: Ted Dibiase (Disqualification-Refusal to break at 5 *)

-Chavo asks Vickie to let him take care of Vickie, and then says they have to talk about her main event. He says she needs to make sure that Batista and MVP don't interfere. Chavo says he's not the GM, but if he was he'd strip MVP of the US title if he interfered and he'd take Batista's title shot away. Vickie starts to agree, and Chavo cuts her off saying he knew she'd agree. He goes to relay the message to Batista and MVP. The announcers question if Vickie was really on board with that one.

The Brian Kendrick vs. Carlito
Kendrick cheap shots Carlito at the outset, and chokes him out with the boot. Irish whip sends Carlito into the corner, but he explodes out with a clothesline. Carlito connects with a backdrop, and modified spinebuster for a two count. Carlito goes to springboard inside, but Kendrick catches him with a kick for two. Kendrick goes for sliced bread, but gets crotched on the second rope. Carlito connects with the backstabber finishing things at 1:20. No wonder RVD won't come back if being a pothead causes this bad of a punishment. Kendrick is making Jamie Noble look like Cena lately.
Winner: Carlito (Pinfall-Back Stabber *)

-We get a recap of the MVP/Sheri Shepard angle. If there is anyone who can explain to me how a cross-promotion with a television show that appeals to middle-aged housewives helps a wrestling promotion I'd love to hear it.

-Shane is heading to the ring, and Batista catches up to apologize for letting him down. Batista says in two weeks he can count on him taking out Orton and winning the title. Shane doesn't say much and just leaves. Odd segment. They still seem to be teasing tension, but you'd think if someone was turning they'd have done it by now.

3-On-1 Handicap Match:
Randy Orton & Legacy vs. Shane McMahon

Hopefully something good happens here, as this has been one god-awful RAW so far. Orton's music hits as he and Legacy come to the ring. A video package airs of all the damage they've done over the past several weeks as they make their way to the ring. The video airs and Orton and Legacy are in the ring posing as we go to commercial. We return and Orton's music is still playing. It cuts off and Orton and Legacy stare down the entrance waiting for Shane. "Here comes the money..." and out comes Shane down the ramp to the ring. It'll be Shane starting off with Cody Rhodes first. Sloppy start. Cody bullies Shane into the Legacy corner but he quickly escapes unscathed. Cody knocks Shane down and tags in Orton. Shane eventually gets the upper hand and forces Orton to tag in DiBiase. DiBiase quickly gets Shane down and is stomping away. He throws Shane into a corner but Shane comes rushing out with a clothesline that drops DiBiase. On the mat, Shane is working on DiBiase's arm. DiBiase crawls over for a tag, but Shane knocks Rhodes off the apron. Shane climbs to the top and comes off with a flying elbow smash onto DiBiase. He covers him but Rhodes breaks up the count at two. Cody distracts Shane, allowing DiBiase to knock Shane out of the ring. On the floor, Shane grabs a chair but Orton – from behind – knocks Shane down. Orton throws Shane in the ring and DiBiase as well. DiBiase tags Orton in legally and he comes in and immediately stomps away at a grounded Shane. Orton tags in Rhodes. Rhodes misses a huge moonsault and both he and Shane are down in the ring. Rhodes crawls over and tags in DiBiase. Shane quickly clotheslines DiBiase down. DiBiase tags in Orton. Shane is brawling with Orton. He gets the better of the exchange and Shane clears house of Legacy. Shane is beating up all three on the floor. Shane is clearing off the RAW announce table. Shane lays Orton across the announce table and climbs to the top rope. Shane comes off the top with a flying elbow, but Orton moves, and Shane comes crashing through the table. Orton has Legacy hold Shane's leg across the ring steps. Orton grabs a chair and yells at Shane. He smashes it into Shane's ankle and Shane is selling it big. Orton takes the top set off the ring steps and has Legacy hold Shane's leg against the steps again. Orton grabs the chair but throws it down. He grabs the other set of ring steps instead and raises them over his head. He slams them down onto Shane's ankle and Shane is freaking out in pain. Orton stares down Shane who is in pain and Batista's music hits after a few moments. He chases Orton and Legacy away from ringside. Orton grabs the microphone at the top of the ramp and says Batista's "Judgment Day" is coming. They stare each other down as Orton's music hits and RAW ends.

Winner: No Contest