WWE RAW Results (9/21) - Cedric The Entertainer, Cena, Lilian, More!

Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, September 21st, 2009 (USA Network)
Location: The Verizon Arena in Little Rock, Ark.
Results by 411Mania.com

"Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event?"

-Cedric The Entertainer arrives with The Bellas, Smooth, Cool Jimmy Johnson, some dude, a coach, a football player, another football guy, another football guy, some granny, a rabbi performing a circumcision, and a farmer with a goat. Seriously, that just happened.

-Cole Slaw and The King welcome us to the show.

-Live from Little Rock Arkansas.

-DX makes their way to the ring.

-HBK hands the H's the mic, because the H's want to know if you are ready, ready to suck it. He discusses the first Hell in a Cell, and that HBK was in it and won that match. HBK asks who won more Cell matches than anyone, and that would be the H's, five to be exact. HBK asks who has never, ever, never, ever, never, ever, never, ever been in a Cell match and has no clue what it is all about, and that would be Cody and Ted. They have never been there and have no clue what they are about to go through. The last time DX was in the Cell, their opponents were destroyed. Vince, who they actually like, was one of their opponents. I believe he told Big Show how his ass tasted. They promise to end it with Legacy in the Cell.

HHH w/HBK vs. Cody Rhodes w/Theodore DiBiase Jr.

DiBiase distracts HHH, and Rhodes takes control with rights. HHH tosses him to the corner, but more rights by Rhodes. A whip, reversal and boot by Rhodes. Double sledge and boots to HHH. He then chokes out HHH in the corner, and more rights follow. HHH manages to toss Rhodes to the corner post, and again. A third time, and that will hurt in the morning. HHH then locks in the crossface (THAT MOVE NEVER EXISTED) but Rhodes makes the ropes. To the floor to cuddle with Ted, and HHH takes them out with a baseball slide as we head to commercial @ 3:00.

-They beat down HHH, and crossroads by Cody connects. DiBiase locks in the Million Dollar Dream, and the nails dream street on HHH. DiBiase takes the chair, place sit around the neck of HHH and Rhodes goes up top?but HBK is up and has SLEDGY and saves the day!

-No confirmation that the Bellas had relations with the goat.

-Kofi Kingston will defend the US Title against Jack Swagger.

-Later, a contract signing for John Cena and Randy Orton.

-Up next, Cedric live in the arena!

Cedric The Entertainer makes his first live appearance before the crowd. He is a King of Comedy, but not the King of Kings. Cedric and the Bellas come out, who have no real function other than to "entertain" the guest hosts. Cedric is excited to be here. This will apparently off the chain. He says he is a real deal, a real WWE fan, and he loves THE RAW. He makes fun of Big Shows car, and then says he notices that there are a lot of next generation stars, like the son of Cowboy Bob Thorton, he means Orton. They have the sons of Dusty Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. The illegitimate son of Andre the Giant and King Kong Bundy in Big Show. The son of the Kool Aid man, Mark Henry. The son of a jackass, the Miz.

He promises a good time, and SANTINO comes out. He cannot believe he is there with a King of Comedy FREDERICK the Entertainer! He calls him Fred, and pimps his new DVD, and Santino says he will be a stand up comedy man. Frederick says he can set it up, and Santino will do some comedy. The Milan Miracle, Santino Marella! Santino says he is about to kill, he just got into town. He jokes about super sizing, and it bombs. Frederick says Beyonce had the best video of all time! He then says Santino should stick to wrestling.

Chavo now comes out to meet Frederick. He says that Chavo is funny, because a leprechaun beats him up week in and out. Santino says that he gave up, and Frederick is not down with that. Chavo says this celebrity hosts are pathetic, but the Bob Barker beat down is brought up. Chavo says he is here to challenge Frederick to a match. But he brings up his new movie, pimps the website for it, and Chavo doesn't dig this. He wants a match with him. Santino says Fredrick accepts to face the leprechaun loser.

-We see Miz stealing the US Title last week.

-Josh Matthews is with The Miz. Miz has the US Title, and says that he didn't steal the title, he took what will be his. He is a champion and unpredictable. He is the reason we watch Raw. He US Champion should be from the USA. He was born in Cleveland, and didn't arrive on a raft listening to Bob Marley. Kofi beats his ass and takes the title back.

-Later, a contract signing for John Cena and Randy Orton.

Evan Bourne vs. The Miz

Lock up, to the corner and Miz backs off. Lock up again, to the ropes and then the corner. Bourne gets slammed to the corner and lefts by Miz. The ref backs him off, kicks by Bourne, but Miz crotches him on the top rope. Running kick by Miz, and a cover for 2. Camel clutch by Miz, thusly humbling Bourne. Changes to a double chicken wing, Bourne escapes and lays the kicks to Miz, but Miz just beats him down once again. To the corner, and then Bourne rolls up Miz for 2. Neck breaker into the knee by Miz gets 2. Miz chokes him over the middle rope, backs off and then lays the boots to him. Suplex by Miz, and another cover for 2. Miz back to the seated double chicken wing, slams Bourne to the mat and lays the boots to him again. To the apron and Miz beats him down, and then gets the knee lift. Back into the ring and Miz covers for 2. Back to the double chicken wing lock, Bourne fights to his feet. To the corner and breaks it, kicks to Miz, to the corner and a reversal and the corner clothesline by Miz. Miz up top now, Bourne crotches him. RANA by Bourne! He goes up top, SSP misses, lands on his feet, but the Miz lands the skull crushing finale for the win.

Winner: The Miz @ 6:00 via pin

-Ted and Cody talk backstage. Orton is there, and says that they are close to ending DX, and they should take the night off. He doesn't need them for the contract signing. The contract signing is next.

Jerry Lawler hosts the contract signing. The ring is all set up with the chairs and table, which someone is likely to go through. Randy Orton makes his way out first. He takes a seat, and Cena is then introduced. Cena is out in his John Deer style gear, raises the title high and then has a seat. Lawler says that contract signings do not go well, and there is a no physicality clause in effect. Trish made the match last week, and Orton has to either accept, or, he can give up his chance at an automatic rematch. Orton signs and says for Lawler to leave the ring. Orton says that Cena may think that he is at his weakest, but he is wrong. He is more dangerous than he has ever been, and is willing to do whatever it takes to get the title back. Orton says he has been in a HIAC match, and he knows what to expect, and knows what it takes to win. Also, Cena will never be the same again. Cena says he wasn't listening, and shows Orton quitting at Breaking Point on a loop. Good times, good stuff. Orton says Cena is turning it into a joke, but Cena says that he knew that Orton would do what he is doing now, and make faces while promising to end Cena's career. Cena says Orton has punished him more than anyone else ever has. Orton actually tortured him at Breaking Point, but he will not be afraid just because of what Orton says. Cena then goes to hand over the title, and laughs at Orton. The funniest part is this, he signs the contract, and says it is official. The match will happen, and for some reason at HIAC, if Orton does not win, he gets no more rematches, no more titles, NOTHING! And the once mighty leader of Legacy will be just a dude in his underwear, who hangs out with two other dudes in their underwear. That's the funny part. Then we get serious. You see, for all the punishment he has been through, all the schemes, Cena has looked into his eyes, and he knows what Orton is capably of. But Orton has NO IDEA what Cena is capable of. Cena won't give his best and fight the good fight. When they lock the door, he will DESTROY Randy Orton. Orton says he would love to RKO Cena through the table right now, legally he can't. What is so great about Cena is his arrogance. HIAC may be in two weeks, but he found some people that will put him through hell right now.

JERI-SHOW make their way to the ring! Orton bails, and Cena prepares for battle. Cena is cornered, and Show tosses out the table. They then beat down Cena. Should have ran dude WAIT! Mark Henry and MVP hit the ring and save the day! Cedric appears on the big screen and says that they made his job easy, tonight, a 6-man tag team match will happen.

-Alicia Fox is at ringside to watch the next match.

NON-TITLE MATCH: Mickie James ? vs. Beth Phoenix

They circle, lock up and Beth tosses her to the mat. Slingshot suplex countered by Mickie, gets a neck breaker and basement dropkick and Beth to the floor. Mickie up top, THESZ PRESS to the floor onto Beth! Mickie goes after Alicia, which allows Beth to slam her to the post. Back in the ring, IMPLANT BUSTER finishes it. So many jokes to be made there.

Winner: Beth Phoenix @ 1:00 via pin

-Alicia grabs the title and comes into the ring. She then gets the big ax kick to Mickie and celebrates with the title before dropping it onto Mickie.

US TITLE MATCH: Kofi Kingston ? vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger attacks at the bell, and locks in a top wristlock. Kofi to his feet, counters out, back elbow to Swagger. Off the ropes and leaps into the arms of Swagger. Kofi escapes, but eats a big boot. Mis is out, steals the US Title once again, and runs away. Swagger now lays chase, and clotheslines him in the back of the head. Swagger takes the title, and HE leaves with it. Count out.

Winner: Kofi Kingston @ 1:30 via count out

-Cedric The Entertainer w/Santino vs. Chavo Guerrero is next.

Cedric The Entertainer w/The Bellas vs. Chavo Guerrero Santino Marella, Special Guest Referee

Cedric comes out with a cape, crown shirt and Jerry Lawler looking trunks. Cedric then puts on a lucha mask, and here we go. Chavo rolls around, they kind of lock up and Chavo mocks him and takes his hat. He then steps on it. Cedric is pissed, and Chavo slaps him. Cedric to the floor, and under the ring. Chavo thinks better of following, goes to the other side and to the floor. He waits on him, and then a LARGER man appears, dressed like Cedric. Chavo hugs the man, and wants to shake, and then slaps him. He chases Chavo, who falls and begs off. Super Cedric press slams Chavo back into the ring. Chavo yells that the man is not Cedric. Clothesline to Chavo. A huge backdrop follows, and Santino is amazed at "Cedric". Super Cedric rolls to the floor, and regular Hornswoggle dressed as Cedric is in, tadpole splash, and back under the ring. Real Cedric is back out, and covers for the win.

Winner: Cedric The Entertainer @ 4:00 via pin

-Hornswoggle joins him in the ring, as does the other masked man. They dance.

-Cedric tells Kely Kelly how he beat Chavo, and Chris Jericho appears and says that they have to talk. Cedric tells him to get a mint, and starts to talk to Kelly again. Big Show then says that they have to talk, and Cedric agrees.

-Jerry Lawler now has the mic and says that tonight is Lilian Garcia's final night with the WWE. He thanks her for her 10-years of service Lilian says thank you, and says that she never knew what adventure this would be. She has traveled the world, met great people, and sing the national anthem each week. She also loved performing for the military. It has been a privilege to work for WWE for such amazing people. She puts over the WWE Superstars, and says it has been an honor to announce such great matches, and says the biggest honor has been to entertain the people. She will miss us all, but her heart will always be in the ring. She loves us and thanks us.

-Randy Orton, Chris Jericho and The Big Show are in the ring. Jericho has the mic and says that he wants to remind Randy that they hate Cena as much as he does. He talked to Cedric, and the ante has been upped. If they lose, then next week, Orton has to face Cena, MVP and Henry in a gauntlet match. Show says if they win, then Cena has to face Orton, Jericho and Show.

Cena's music hits. Lots of double teaming on Cena early. He finally makes the tag and MVP has some fire offense. They eventually gang up on MVP and now he is taking a beating, with a lot of double-teaming. Big clusterf–k ending that sees Orton finally hit the RKO on Mark Henry for the pinfall victory. That means John Cena must run the gauntlet next week on RAW from Albany, NY.

Winners: Randy Orton, Chris Jericho & Big Show