WWE Raw Results: Punk Vs Bryan + A Huge Return - Sound Off With Your Thoughts
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We open with the regular Raw opening video that plays before every show. After an extended pyro sequence, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us to the show. John Laurinaitis comes out with a big smile on his face, and he shakes hands with a lot of fans at ringside. He makes sure to go all around ringside to acknowledge as many fans as he can, and even Cole, Lawler, Justin Roberts, and the time keeper, Mark Yeaton I believe his name is. As he gets in the ring, the announcers plug Sheamus appearing later tonight. Laurinaitis says he's looking forward to his performance review tonight because he's done a good job. He says it's okay to make mistakes as long as you don't make the same one twice, and he has done that. He says he's confident that he will be named the permanent GM of Raw by the end of the night because the review is being done by one of the greatest superstars of all time, and a good friend of his, Triple H. He says last night at the Royal Rumble he called the match right down the middle just like he said he would. He then plugs the "Elimination PPV," where CM Punk will defend his title in the Chamber match. He then goes on to introduce the competitors, with a graphic for each of them on the screen. They are CM Punk, Kofi Kingston, Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, R-Truth, and Chris Jericho. He then says that tonight Beth Phoenix will defend her Divas Championship against Eve, The Miz will take on Kofi Kingston, and Dolph Ziggler will face Randy Orton. Also tonight, Daniel Bryan will face CM Punk (no this isn't 2003 ROH), for the first time ever with them both being champions.
CM Punk then comes out to a real good pop. He stops on top of the ramp and starts singing "Hey, hey, hey, goodbye." The crowd joins in with him pretty quickly. Oh man, he goes over to King, and lets him sing some, then Justin Roberts, then back around the other side of the ring. Laurinaitis still has a goofy smile as Punk gets in the ring and sings it to his face. He finishes with "Good-bye clown shoes." Laurinaitis says Punk owes him an apology for last night. Punk laughs and says Laurnaitis is a liar because he did try to screw him. Punk says he came out here just to see Laurnaitis's dim-witted face one last time, and since this is the last time they will be seeing each other, he feels the need to say how much enjoyment Laurnaitis has shown him over the last few weeks, how he sucks at talking, and stumble simple words. He says his favorite thing is that Laurnaitis has found out how to suck and blow at the same time. Punk says he's not Triple H's biggest supporter, but he can't wait until Trips fires Big Johnny tonight. Laurnaitis is unfazed, and says he's honest, fair and creative, plus he's taken Raw to new heights, and he would like to put his and Punk's differences aside. He offers his hand to Punk, Punk just stares, and asks if Laurnaitis was sleeping. The World Heavyweight Champion, Daniel Bryan comes out next, and he's still celebrating his victory last night.
Bryan acknowledges that he's still the World Heavyweight Champion, and he gets a very mixed reaction. He says no one cares about Laurinaitis's and Punk's problems, and that he won a Steel Cage match last night against Henry and Big Show. He says he doesn't think everyone appreciates the magnitude of his accomplishment last night. He says no disrespect to Punk, but after what he went through last night, Punk's not much of a challenge. Punk says he's only the best wrestler in the world. Bryan says that's great, but he's more than just a wrestler, he's a role model, a vegan, he doesn't even eat meat! Punk says he knows this that, but this brings up the question, what does Bryan eat? Bryan says if he makes more jokes like that, he'll take his pipe bomb, and shove it where the sun don't shine. Punk says they've known each other for a decade, and Laurnaitis is just trying to stir trouble, so how about tonight they give Kansas City the best wrestling match in the world.
Sheamus then comes out to a real big pop for the 2012 Royal Rumble Winner. Sheamus asks what's the story? He says he hates to break up this, but he just wanted to remind everyone that he won the Royal Rumble last night. He says both of the men will be defending their championships at the Elimination Chamber PPV, and that Laurinaitis could be fired tonight. He also says that with a big of luck from the Irish, he will be the next WWE, or World Heavyweight Champion. He tells both champions good luck, then puts his arm around Laurnaitis, and shares a great Irish saying, which had something to do with Triple H kicking him in the arse, and throwing up undies. Sheamus then leaves up the ramp, and points at the Royal Rumble sign. Back in the ring, Punk and Bryan stare down each other. Punk offers his hand, and Bryan shakes it. Cole plugs Randy Orton vs Dolph Ziggler, which is next. We go to commercial.
The WWE Rewind shows Wade Barrett vs Randy Orton from Smackdown last month where Orton fell down the stairs and was injured. We then come back to the show where Josh Matthews is in a skybox with Wade Barrett. Randy Orton comes out for the first match of the night. They're putting an emphasis on Barrett watching from the Skybox. Barrett then says to Josh that he took out Orton the last time they were in a one on one contest, and this Friday on Smackdown the same thing will happen. Dolph Ziggler is out next. In an effort to stay unbiased, I won't mention that this guy is quickly becoming my favorite superstar.
Randy Orton vs Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero)
They lock up, and Ziggler pushes Orton into the corner, and takes some shots to him. Great rope running here by both guys, each getting a leapfrog before Ziggler shows off some. Orton locks on a Side Headlock, and takes him down. Ziggler fights back, but Orton hits a Shoulder Block. Josh Matthews decides now is a good time for that interview with Barrett, and we get dual screens for just a second. Orton hits a Clothesline to take Ziggler down, then methodically starts working over him, but Ziggler is able to take control again with a Dropkick to the back of the head. We take a commercial break.
We come back with Ziggler locking on the Sleeper, but Orton backs him up into the corner. Josh continues his interview as Ziggler gets his feet up in the corner to knock Orton down for a two count. Ziggler misses a Stinger Splash and gets caught with two Clotheslines, but Ziggler blocks Orton's Powerslam and hits a beautiful Dropkick. Ziggler then does some sit-ups as Orton's down. Ziggler goes up to the top rope, but gets caught by Orton, who crotches him on the post. Orton taunts Vickie and punches Ziggler on the turnbuckle before going up top, and hitting a top-rope Superplex. Orton gets a two count after a sick impact. Orton gets fired up and hits two clotheslines again, and this time hits his Powerslam. Orton then goes for his Rope-Hung DDT, but Ziggler reverses, and locks on a Sleeer Hold. Orton flips him over his head, then gets a unique roll up for a two count. Ziggler is able to quickly hit a leg-drop Bulldog for a two count. What a series. Ziggler then goes for the Zig Zag, but Orton reverses and Clotheslines him out of the ring. Orton slams Ziggler into the barricade, and then slides him back in the ring to hit his Rope-hung DDT. Bad camera angle, you could clearly see there was no impact. Orton then hits the RKO for the three count.
Winner: Randy Orton
Orton celebrates after the match as Wade Barrett looks on intently. The announcers plug the Champion vs Champion match later tonight, and a new HOF announcement, who I'm sure we all know. If you don't check the front pages of Yahoo, or WWE.com.
We come back with a WrestleMania promo. 62 days away. We see stills of the brawl between John Cena and Kane last night at the Royal Rumble, then Kane taking out an injured Zack Ryder, then Cena taking the Chokeslam.
Laurinaitis is backstage shaking hands with everyone. He asks William Regal how his son is doing, Regal says he keeps them locked in the attic. This man is golden. Johnny maintains a smile. He then asks Curt Hawkins how he's doing and shakes hands with him. Wait, Curt Hawkins was on Raw? Okay, re-winded it, and yes he was. We go to commercial.
Brodus Clay, accompanied by his dancers comes out next. The funkettes are getting less and less PG as the weeks go by. Once in the ring, Brodus does his usual, and awesome dance moves, including the Booker T-dubbed, Pterodactyl. Tyler Reks is his opponent.
Brodus Clay (with Cameron and Naomi)vs Tyler Reks
Brodus quickly slams down Reks, then jiggles some. Brodus hits a few punches, then a Bionic Elbow. Reks fights back with a running Dropkick, then he grounds Brodus with some more strikes, but Brodus starts jiggling some more, then hits a Belly to Belly, followed by a Club to the back, then he hits What the Funk? for the win.
Winner: Brodus Clay
Brodus dances with the girls after the match. A good way to know who management considers jobbers is to take a look at Brodus's opponents each week.
We go backstage to Punk and Bryan. Punk says he doesn't think people think he's a role model, or know what a vegan is. Punk goes on to describe what a Vegan is. I almost don't want to eat meat now. Bryan says a lot of people probably don't know what straightedge is either, but Punk says he doesn't care because he doesn't claim to be a role model, just the best wrestler in the world. We go to commercial.
CM Punk comes out to a great reaction for the Champion vs Champion match. Man, this crowd has been great tonight. Bryan is out next, and ironically right after my last comment, he doesn't get much of a reaction.
Champion vs Champion: CM Punk vs Daniel Bryan
We start with both men shaking hands, and Punk taking control with a Shoulder Block, but Bryan hits a Dropkick after leapfrog. Bryan looks to be locking on a Surfboard, but instead just jumps down, killing Punk's legs. Punk fights back with a mule kick, followed by a Snapmare and a stiff kick to the back for a two count. Punk locks on a Sleeper next, but quickly breaks it to hit a knee to the back. Punk with a Scoop Slam, but he misses a leg drop, and Bryan hits a knee to the face of Punk. Bryan, with his knee on Punk's head still, looks like he about broke Punk's wrist with a unique kick. Bryan gets launched out of the ring by Punk as a counter to Bryan running, and Punk hits a double sledge from the apron on Bryan. They trade European Uppercuts outside the ring, and Bryan slams Punk into the barricade, which sends him over the top of it, and Punk lands where the time keeper usually is.
We replay that as Punk slides into the ring. Bryan hits some stiff kicks to the gut and locks on a Side Headlock. Punk fights out with a Back Suplex and rolls to the apron. Punk Springboards off with a Clothesline for a two count. Punk then hits a Backbreaker, and this gets another two count. Punk hits some chops to Punk's chest, prompting some "woos" from the crowd. Bryan reverses and sends Punk in the other corner. Bryan misses a corner Dropkick and lands awkwardly, but this only gets Punk a two count. Bryan backflips off the turnbuckle over Punk, and runs to the ropes. Punk runs after him and they both go for Crossbodies, and collide in the middle of the ring. We go to commercial.
We are back with Bryan locking on an arm submission. We seem a replay of Bryan working over Punk's arm during the break. Bryan is putting some big pressure on Punk's arm. Bryan hits a DDT, but focuses more on the shoulder than the head, then goes up top. Punk catches him up top though, and hits some chops on Bryan from the ground. Punk climbs up, screams best in the world, then hits a Super Hurricanrana. Bryan goes for some kicks, but Punk stays on control with a jumping leg kick, then a spinning Neckbreaker. Punk's arm is still bothering him, but he still hits his Running High Knee, then a Bulldog, but had to pause to switch arms. He signals for the GTS, but Bryan slides out of the ring after Punk lifted him up. Punk hits a Baseball Slide, but Bryan hits him with a Forearm before he can Suicide Dive out of the ring. Bryan hits a Missile Dropkick from the top rope for a two count. Bryan hits some stiff kicks to the chest of Punk now, but Punk dodges one of them and gets a roll up for two. They go back and forth so fast that I can't keep up, and Bryan ends up with the sickest head kick I've ever seen. It made a guy wearing a burger king crown in the crowd jump up and scream. Bryan somehow only gets a two count after this though. Bryan with some more kicks on Punk, then he lifts him up on the top rope. He tries for a Superplex, but Punk fights out, and he headbutts him off. This crowd is electric as Punk goes up top, and hits a Diving Elbow Drop for another two count. Punk goes for the GTS again, but Bryan counters with a roll up for two. Bryan goes for the LaBelle Lock, but Punk fights out and Slingshots him into the turnbuckle, then a huge headkick. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, Chris Jericho comes out, takes out Bryan, then hits a Codebreaker on an unsuspecting CM Punk.
Winner: Daniel Bryan by disqualification
Bryan actually celebrates this victory like he won the lottery, and we replay what happened towards the end of the match. Punk looks confused and in pain in the middle of the ring, and Jericho smiles at the top of the ramp.
The announcers then lead us into the next HOF announcement. We see a video of some highlights of Mike Tyson's boxing career, then him appearing on some Raw's in 1998, plus WrestleMania XIV. He really did play a big part in Austin's first title win. After the video package, WWE shows some news sites covering Tyson's inductions. Why isn't WrestlingInc a part of that? :)
R-Truth comes out, and the announcers look for Little Jimmy as we go to commercial.
We come back, and R-Truth is on commentary...hehe. R-Truth yells at Cole when he mentions Little Jimmy, heel turn again already? Kofi Kingston comes out for his match against The Miz. Both these men fresh off amazing Royal Rumble performances. Miz has a microphone, and acknowledges that Kofi got a huge ovation for his amazing handstand to avoid elimination. The Miz puts over that he lasted longer than any other superstar in the Rumble. He says he will beat Kofi, and every other superstar in the Elimination match because he's awesome.
Kofi Kingston vs The Miz
They lock up, and they get some good chains going at the start. Kofi gets caught and Miz violently attacks him. Truth is hilarious on commentary. Miz is killing Kofi here with some strikes. I really don't think I've seen him like this before. Kofi starts fighting back, but misses a Stinger Splash. Miz catches him with a high knee, but gets caught with a roll up after being distracted by Truth. Miz hits his patented corner clothesline on Kofi as Cole and Truth argue over Little Jimmy, this is great. Miz hits a Diving Double Axe Handle for a two count. Kofi starts fighting back, and catches Miz with a roll up for another two count, but Miz quickly takes him down with a Snap DDT for a two count. I can't stress enough how awesome Truth is on commentary. Miz goes for another Clothesline, but Kofi catches him and goes up top to hit a nice five star crossbody for a two count. Miz still fights back, and goes for the Reality Check. Kofi reverses and tries the SOS, kinda botches, and Miz reverses, but can't hit the Skull Crushing Finale, and Kofi literally hits Trouble in Paradise out of nowhere for the win. I think he only had 15 percent of the offense during that match.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
Kofi celebrates in the ring, and we go to some stills of Kofi handstanding at the Rumble last night. I think that should be their exception, and they should have played the whole clip.
Backstage, John Laurinaitis is with David Otunga. Otunga says he's done everything possible to influence the decision tonight, and Laurinaitis thinks he's after his job. Otunga quickly dispels that though. We go to commercial.
We come back, and we get a special look at The Rock. It's the same video package that they played last night at Royal Rumble. After the promo, we get a plug for Beth Phoenix defending her Divas Championship against Eve after this commercial break.
We come back with a plug for WWE's new YouTube channel. This is cutting edge technology people. We now go down to the ring for the Divas Championship match. Eve comes out first, looking scared and upset. Beth Phoenix comes out next. With only 20 minutes left on the show, anyone think this will be the actual main event match?
WWE Divas Championship: Eve vs Beth Phoenix (c)
They match starts and a visibly upset Eve quickly goes crazy on Beth. Beth takes her out real quick with a Clothesline, then lifts her up and hits the Glam Slam for the win.
Winner: Beth Phoenix
Beth Phoenix celebrates after the match, and the announcers put over that Eve is an emotional reck. Kane's music plays as Eve is in the middle of the ring. Kane appears on the titantron and asks how it feels to know that everything that's happened to Ryder could have been avoided if Cena would have embraced the hate. Kane says instead Cena looks pass Kane, but until Cena embraces hate, he can't beat Kane, or the Rock, so he will continue to finish as much pain on Ryder until Cena embraces the hate. Tonight, he's going to use Eve as a conduit to pass the message. Eve looks scared in the ring, and Kane's pyro and music start. Kane appears on the apron behind her, and Eve falls to the ground.
Cena's music plays, and him and Kane start throwing hands. Cena follows Kane out of the ring. This crowd is going crazy. Kane taks control as they make their way up the ramp, but Cena starts fighting back also, and back down the ramp we go. Kane slams Cena into the barricade, but Cena reverses an Irish Whip and sends Kane into the steps. Cena slams Kane into the steps over and over, and gets cheers from the crowd because of it. Cena takes off his shirt, and picks up the top part of the steps. He slams then right into Kane's shoulder, and Cena has a sadistic smile on his face as he yells for Kane to get back up, and he hits him again, this time, right on the head. Cena screams at Kane to get up again, and hits him with the steps again. Cena is getting cheered more here than he has in years. He's going crazy. He starts stripping the announce table as Kane gets up. He takes microphone from Justin Roberts and hits Kane upside the head with it. Cena says we're about to party and he's really enjoying this. Cena picks up Kane and goes for the AA through the table, but Kane is able to get off and retreats through the crowd. Cena gets in the ring and is still going crazy in the ring. This crowd is going nuts for him. What the hell just happened?
Backstage, we see Laurnaitis walking to the ring for his job evaluation. Cole struggles to get in "Triple H will be here next" before the break, but you can only faintly here it.
Back from the break, Justin Roberts introduces John Laurinaitis, who comes out to...is that cheers? It's definitely a mixed reaction, but they then start chanting the goodbye song. Laurinaitis says he's been looking forward to this moment all week, and he'd like to take this opportunity to say a few things. He says he's not nervous because he knows everyone has appreciated him. The facts are that ratings have been up since he's been GM (HAHAHAHAHAHA, no). He says also every employee now has to grade themselves on different areas. He says when he took it, he gave himself a five on a lot of categories because he's done a lot of things well. Funkhauser is interrupted by Triple H, who gets a huge pop wearing his little suit.
Once in the ring, Triple H says that Laurinaitis gave himself a lot of five, but does he realize that that's a bigger number than three or four? Triple H says he's been watching him for a while, ever since Ace backstabbed him and took the job. He says he was wrong about Laurinaitis because he was no different, and even worse than the past GMs. He says Laurinaitis didn't just grab the power, but he tried to use it to make himself a start. Laurnaitis says Hunter's got it all wrong. Triple H says not to lie and make it worse because Laurnaitis has personally involved him in a lot of things, such as last night in the Royal Rumble, only to serve his own personal agenda. Triple H says when Vince ran Raw, he let personal decision cloud his judgements and had to be replaced. The same thing happened when himself, Triple H ran Raw, and now Laurinaitis is doing the same. Laurinaitis says he'd do anything to keep his job. Triple H takes that comment and says how big it is. He says he can make Ace do anything right now after the comment, even letting Ace apologize to the WWE Universe, and if they appreciate it, he may change his mind. Laurinaitis tries to apologize, but I can hardly hear him over the boos.
This is some pretty heavy heat as Laurinaitis finishes. Triple H asks them what they think, and there's a resounding, "No." Triple H says he couldn't really hear him over the crowd, but he's pretty sure he was lying. Triple H says Ace wants to be a Superstar pretty badly, so how about he lets him. Maybe it's be a gauntlet like Punk had to do a few weeks ago. Triple H says, nope that's probably isn't fair, but then gets a better idea. He says this is one of those things where he thinks his father in law is a genius. He says when Vince was in charge, and he needed to see where someone's loyalty lies, he would have that person become a member of a certain club. We all know what he's referring too. Ace says he doesn't have to prove his loyalty, but Hunter says he does. Ace then takes out some chap stick, applies it, and gets on his knees. Cole struggles no to laugh on commentary, but can't help it. Hunter calls him a freak because he was really going to do it. Hunter asks if he honestly thought he would let Laurinaitis kiss him anywhere, and that he should get some help from that. Hunter says he's not going to do any of this silly stuff, he's just going to do what needs to be done. He says the board sees that he's put his personal problems behind him, and that they've said he can run Raw whenever he feels like it, so at this time, it truly warms his heart that he wishes him well in all his...and my God a bell just tolled. The lights go out and the crowd goes nuts.
Flames are going up and bells continue to toll. The blue smoke comes up, and the lights go blue as the eerie music plays. Then standing at the top of the ramp, the Phenom, The Undertaker is here! Undertaker slowly walks down the ramp. He looks kinda' different, but it has been almost a year since we've seen him. Wow, I just looked at the clock, and Raw's going over pretty bad tonight. I'm not complaining. Undertaker stops at the top of the steel steps as Triple H looks on intently. I have no idea where Laurinaitis just went, but he was indeed saved by the bell, or gong in this case. Undertaker gets in the ring and walks around in a circle as Triple H follows him intently with his caveman look. The music stops and the crowd chants Undertaker's name. I just realized what's different, he's got to be wearing a wig, he was bald just a few months ago. Undertaker just looks up at the WrestleMania XXVIII sign, then does his signature taunt directed toward Triple H. Without a word spoken, Triple H pats Undertaker on the shoulder and leaves the ring, receiving a chorus of boos. Triple H leaves back up the ramp as Undertaker looks on at the WrestleMania sign, then back to the stage, where Triple H is nowhere to be seen. The crowd chants 'Taker's name and his music plays as we go off air, almost 15 minutes later than normal with the last picture of Raw the Undertaker's face, covered in his signature blue hue.
What did you think of tonight's show? Sound off with your thoughts below.