WWE Total Divas Recap: Paige Sexes Up Natalya, Eva Marie Goes Under The Knife, More

This week's show begins with a look at Brie and Summer Rae in the ring as group of Divas watches tape of the match. Next up, it's all of the flashbacks and dramatic flair you'd expect?nay, demand?from your favorite E! "reality show." Time to get right down to brass tacks?

John Cena and Nikki hit the gym and John joshes Nikki, saying she's not very strong and then he chucks an empty barbell weight at her in good fun. We discover that they're very competitive and that they tease each other a lot. Ah, young love. They're going to have some kind of contest officiated by John's best friend. Appraently one of the phases in their throwdown will be to see who gets hard nipples first.

We cut to Eva and her beau and she tells him she suspects she's having trouble with her implants. Eva says she's right where she wants to be in her career and she can't afford a problem like this right now.

Then we head to Monday Night Raw. Big Show jokes with Cameron backstage and then we take a gander at Paige and Nattie in the ring. Paige is doing some sexy-time stuff with Natalya and after the match, Nattie seeks her out backstage and complains. Paige isn't really apologetic but says she won't do it any more. Yeah, right.

Eva and Jonathan go to the doctor and Eva shares her concerns. Dr. Kim says there might be a small leak. He says they should come out sooner rather than later. He also says she'll need to be out of the ring for a while. The doctor takes some blood to see if there's silicone in her system. Commercial sign.

When we return to the show, Natalya, Eva Marie and Cameron are together at a restaurant and Natalya complains about all of Paige's sex-filled shenanigans. She kind of bashes Rosa in the process, saying it'd have been fine if Paige did that kind of thing with her. Rosa, Alicia and Paige join the klatch and Eva steps away to take a call from her doctor's office who confirms that she needs to take action regarding her leaking implants. She is understandably upset but decides she's going to keep the news to herself for the moment.

In the next scene, Nikki is hanging out with Natalya and Naomi. Nikki clues her pals in on her contest with John and they just don't see the point.

Then we see some footage of Eva Marie throwing down with AJ Lee. Eva gets the win in that one. In the Total Divas confessional, Eva repeats that she's in a good place in her career and she doesn't want to go through these health problems.

John and Nikki talk smack in the car as they drive to a go-cart track. Cena dresses up in a racing suit and helmet for their race. He crashes into Nikki to put her out of the race and grabs the win for this round. Those crazy kids!

After another break, Nikki and John go to Goofy Golf. Cena dresses in golf togs and spikes. He beats her on the course and then they go to the batting cages and Nikki fares poorly again. The same thing happens in skee-ball. Turns out John is a really bad sport, too. Who knew? Everybody but Nikki, that's who?

Back at Eva's house, she tells her hubby that she has cancelled her surgery because she doesn't want to interfere with her push. Here comes a big fight. Jonathan points out that WWE wouldn't be putting her into matches if they only knew what's going on with her right now. But what about the camera crew and production team in your living room, Jonathan?

For some reason, John and Nikki decide to end their competition with a game of beer bong. Makes about as much sense as everything up to this point in the storyline, really. Nikki pretty much smokes John but he's still acting like Mark Gastineau at this point. She almost has him beaten but then he kicks out at two. Okay, that last part didn't actually happen. John catches up and ends up beating her, so she pours the last cup on him. Turns out Nikki's better than John at one thing ? and that's being a bad sport.

Commercials roll and then we're back with Nikki and John. These are troubled times in the kingdom. Nikki is really upset with John and he says it was all in good fun. But he does apologize and that counts for something. Probably. At least they make up at the end of it. Nikki admits that she has "major issues."

Eva Marie and Cameron are out for a drive and Eva gets a call from Mark Carrano who says that Jonathan called and left message for him. She's way mad and calls her hubby to ask what's up. When they see each other at home later, it goes badly. They get into another argument and Eva Marie says she's an adult and it's her decision to make as to how she handles the situation.

Nikki, Brie and Eva Marie get together over dinner and serious girl talk ensues. Nikki makes some crude jokes about having sex with John. Then Eva Marie spills the beans about her implants. Nikki is a little freaked out because apparently she has implants, too. Both Bellas tell Eva that she needs to take care of the problem for the sake of her health as well as for the safety of those who she's in the ring with. This time, Eva Marie gets it. Hard cheese, Jonathan.

Natalya and Paige talk backstage before their next match at Raw and Nattie reminds Paige to keep it simple and "PG." Then Paige licks Natalya right in the middle of the match. Backstage, the other Divas are watching and they totally freak out. The fur will fly after a commercial?

We get to see most of the rest of that match and afterwards, Nattie hunts her down and curses her out. Paige doesn't see what the big deal is. She thinks that it gets the crowd going and Natalya works harder because of that stuff. Nattie says she'll tolerate a happy medium that includes a "gentle humping." Then they celebrate their newfound common ground as Natalya spanks Paige and grabs her boobs. All of that actually happened.

Eva Marie goes in for surgery, explaining that she has smoothed everything out with WWE. Afterwards, Eva, her mother and Jonathan head to a hotel so she can recover. She talks with Nikki and Brie by phone while she's still a little groggy from the anesthesia. After some coming attractions for next week's show, that's a wrap.

A mere 60 minutes later, this one is in the can and we're already counting the days until the next big episode of Total Divas.