Total Divas Recap: Season 4 Debuts, Eva Gets Heat, Nattie's New Gimmick, More

We open with a recap of the previous season's antics. Nikki is the champion, Eva is facing health issues and the Bellas have some serious talking to do about their future in wrestling!

We open with the oh-so-wise quote "A Lion Does Not Worry Herself with the Opinion of Sheep." Well, yeah. Presumably the lion would be too busy killing and eating the sheep to really care about their world views and whatnot.

Paige and Naomi are meeting Nattie and Alicia for brunch. They discuss the Bellas possibly leaving. They are supportive of whatever the siblings decide. But it's not all niceness: Paige acknowledges it could open up spots on the roster and give her a bigger chance to shine.

The twins arrive soon after. Nikki shows off her Louis Vuitton bag. This isn't terribly impressive since it seems like every other woman on the show has a Louis Vuitton bag. Anyway, Nikki gets annoyed when Nattie and Alicia start talking about their careers once she leaves. She feels like they've sent her off already. As they exit the cafe, Nikki admits to her sister the competitive nature of her group of friends is wearing her down. She says: "I'm not going to miss the brunches at all."

No, not the brunches.

Brie tries to be diplomatic about things, but Nikki is annoyed that they're already trying to take her spot and vows to protect it. House of Cards, Diva-style.

We see footage of AJ Lee vs. Nikki match on Raw a few months back. Nikki talks about her in-ring style and psychology. Nikki wonders how she can leave when it took her eight years to get here. Bryan jokes about who will take care of his beard hair if Brie departs. Brie, knowing that is a task beyond even the most hard-working WWE hairdresser, says no one will be able to do it.

Nikki and Natalya meet in the parking lot and compliment each other's Louis Vuitton hand bags and Louboutin shoes. Natalya then wanders off and takes a selfie with Summer Rae and Emma before going to talk to Mark Carano about her career now that Nikki looks be leaving.

She pitches a cat-lady dominatrix character. Carrano doesn't think a cat-lady dominatrix character is exactly consistent with the current PG creative direction. Shocker. Nattie is also dismayed to hear that management are apparently training Eva to replace the Bellas so they're taking her off the road and keeping her in California. Carrano notes there is a high demand for Eva and they've had multiple requests for her to act on various television shows.

We see Eva training with Brian Kendrick. Mr Eva is there taking photos. He no doubt has a name, but I can't remember it, so I'll stick with 'Mr Eva' for now.

Nattie complains to the divas about Eva lying to everyone about going to the performance center when she's really been in LA with her own private coach. Brie is annoyed that she's not paying her dues. Really. Brie said that. I hope that line was scripted for her.

Nikki and Brie complain backstage to Mark Carrano about Eva's special treatment. Nikki doesn't think she's a good enough wrestler. Nikki says it makes her want to stay since it will "destroy" the Divas division. That's not dramatic at all. Carrano tries to explain that Eva has stuff going on and this is how the company wants to use her.

Nikki says WWE offered her and Brie a great counter-offer, but she's still not convinced she'll sign it. So I guess Eva is just going to destroy the divas division. Oh, well.

Eva, meanwhile, is chilling at home with Mr Eva. She laments about her physical state. He tries to motivate her, DDP-style.

Nattie goes with Jon and Trinity to a sex store to prepare for her Cat Lady Dominatrix character. Nattie plays around with a whip and hints she has a dominatrix inside of her. Honestly, Cat Lady Dominatrix character sounds like something Russo would come up with in the dying days of WCW.

Brie and Nikki goes for lunch with their mother. They discuss their future. Nikki seems to have more doubts about going.

Nattie invites a professional dominatrix to her house. TJ looks bemused. The cats are indifferent as cats usually are. As if being a professional dominatrix wasn't interesting enough, the lady can apparently lip reads too. TJ looks like he wants to call the cops on this woman. The dominatrix lady suggests "Cat" should be their safe word. The dominatrix lady orders TJ to get on his knees and both women treat him like, well, a cat.

Meanwhile the actual cats are two feet away and look embarrassed for everyone involved in this.

TJ storms off in a mood after dominatrix lady whips him. Possibly he's off to find the number of a good divorce lawyer. Nattie realizes she's upset him. Later in the afternoon, Nattie and the dominatrix lady play around on their own when, sitcom style, Nattie's mom just happens to drops by. Man, she didn't even knock or anything. Dominatrix woman ties up Nattie's mom because, well, she's a dominatrix lady and that's what they do. Nattie seems to be having second thoughts about her new character direction.

The girls meet for drinks and complain about Eva. Paige complains that Eva doesn't care about wrestling and puts her hair first. In fairness, she does have really cool hair. I'd prioritize it too. Naomi points out they're all just jealous and need to give Eva a fair shot.

Eva talks to Kendrick about the physical toll wrestling is taking. She's very depressed. Mr Eva takes her outside and asks what's going on. She says wrestling is hard work and she doesn't think she's cut out for it. Mr Eva points out that The Rock probably didn't pick up wrestling right away. Eva mentions that the b—hiness from the other girls is getting to her. Mr Eva says not to think about them and concentrate on her career. Eva gets back in the ring and has a good training session. I like Mr Eva. He reminds me of a minor league nondescript Bellator fighter.

Nikki admits to Brie she's having second thoughts about leaving. She says Brie should wait a few years before having a baby. Nikki says they have the potential to be stars like John Cena or The Rock. Brie, amazingly, manages not to laugh. Brie still seems intent on leaving.

Lillian confronts Brie about the girls bullying Eva. Brie is mad. She claims Eva doesn't care about wrestling and just cares about fame. "WWE is not a stepping stone for Hollywood!" she fumes. Hey, tell that to The Rock. Or Batista. Or Steve Austin. God forbid a woman does it too.

Don't know if this intended to come across in the script, but it's hard not to feel Eva and her amazing hair are too good for this company. She is trying hard but everyone else seems out to get her just because she'd had some great opportunities. They might be trying to push it as a "two sides to everything" storyline but Eva seems to be 100% the victim here.

Nattie shows off her new dominatrix outfit. No word if Tyson got that divorce. In the next scene, Eva resolves to address everyone and will hopefully tell them to stop being awful people.

We see Paige fight Nikki on Raw for the Divas title. Nikki seems even more determined to stay after realizing how much she loves performing. She makes it official later on. Brie says she still intends to leave.

Eva confronts everyone backstage. She looks nervous. If only Mr Eva were here. After a pause, she tells them she has a right to be upset because they're ganging up her. Paige looks massively offended, as if they have not, in fact, been ganging up on her. Paige denies they've been negative about her. You lie! It's on tape! We saw it 20 minutes ago!

Brie then points out they work harder than Eva does. Eva says being a WWE diva is meant to be about empowering women but all they want to do is drag her down. Paige calls her "lazy" and says she shouldn't have a personal trainer. Naomi seems to have abandoned Eva and isn't really supporting her much at all here. That's friends in wrestling for you. Alicia and Brie get mad that Eva even has the nerve to defend herself. Brie tells Eva she is "tearing down the division because she sucks at wrestling." Irony goes to hang itself. Eva leaves, like any normal, self-respecting woman would. None of the ladies came off well here, especially Paige. It's weird WWE is scripting her to be so obnoxious when she's meant to be a face.

We get a preview of some upcoming episodes. Naomi gets a drink thrown at her. Eva is finding a finisher. TJ hurts his neck. Bryan is having medical issues too. Someone proposes. Eva does something cool with her hair. Dolph is telling Nikki he can marry her and give her kids (and she's going to refuse? The fool!). Oh, and we'll presumably see more Louis Vuitton handbags.