Total Divas Recap: Nikki And Daniel Fight, Paige And Alicia Clash, Cats, More

Last week: WrestleMania festivities and backstage drama. This week: Cats, strip clubs and more backstage drama.

Bryan and Brie are having drinks with Nikki. Bryan is lightly teasing Nikki about her intelligence and tumultuous love life. "I wonder where I'll be a year from now." "Alone." Bryan gets an A+ for passive aggressive acerbic wit aimed at his wife's sister. Nikki is disgruntled. Her response is to drink more wine, which is basically her response to everything. This is why Nikki is cool.

In her attempts to aid a local animal rescue group, Nattie ends up coming into possession of 18 cats. Last time I saw that many animals in a house, Cruella De Vil was planning to kill them all and steal their fur.

Tyson isn't thrilled that his home has turned into a cat shelter. Does he think they will murder him in his sleep? This is a valid concern. I suspect those cats will be good company for Nattie when Tyson finally gets fed up with her babysitting for PETA and divorces her.

Nikki invades Bryan's home. His response is to hang up all her expensive designer clothes in his barn. Bryan thinks Nikki is hugely materialistic. Probably because she is, in fact, hugely materialistic. This whole storyline is like a bland CBS sitcom. I assume a wacky neighbor shows up at some point and someone learns the true meaning of Christmas.

We see Paige tell Alicia she is moving in with her boyfriend, Kevin. Kevin has tattoos and is in a rock band and wears his baseball cap backwards so, you know, he is definitely cool. Alicia tells her not to make the same mistakes she made with Bradley. I miss Bradley. It seems Alicia doesn't like Kevin. The backwards baseball cap does not win her over, shockingly.

Adam Rose, Titus and Heath Slater go on a road trip with Nattie and Tyson. Titus farts. Nattie isn't keen on it, possibly because it brings up bad memories of that terrible gimmick she once had. So who is taking care of these 18 cats while all this is going on? Later on, they all go to a strip club. Nattie shakes the strippers' hands and hugs them. This is the most Canadian thing ever. Tyson seems kind of unhappy with all this. He just wants to go home and watch Japanese wrestling videos and be free of Nattie's craziness and erratic behavior.

"I said 'I love you to the moon' and you said 'I love you to the stop sign.'" Despite this Jon and Trinity still have the best and most stable marriage on this show.

Alicia thinks Kevin will break Paige's heart. Paige is angry and thinks she is being unsupportive. Paige is right. Kevin is a rock star! And we all know they make the best, stable and most loyal romantic partners. Later on, Paige and Alicia get into a fight while Jon tapes them. I am expecting a swerve here where Alicia reveals she wants Paige for herself and that's the real reason she has it in for Kevin.

All through this, we see Emma hanging around. Someone tell her if she wants a permanent spot on this show she's going to have to buy some more designer handbags, date a terrible musician and/or allow an army of kittens to take over her house.

Another subplot is that Alicia hasn't truly moved on from Wade Barrett. Which is funny because the bookers moved on from Wade Barrett ages ago.

Bryan apologizes to Nikki. He tells her he doesn't hate her and she's family. He tells her he loves her. She still seems mad about her clothes being in the barn though.

Next week: Kevin and his generic rock band team up with the cats to take over planet Earth. Only Bryan can stop them.