Total Divas Recap: Paige Gets A Marriage Proposal, Daniel Bryan's Career, Jimmy Uso, More

Paige and Emma are hanging out with Paige's roommate, Steven. There is a very, very cool painting of a naked woman in Paige's living room. Emma should totally steal it. They start speculating on whether or not Kevin intends to propose because he took Paige to a jewelry store to look for her ring size and is telling everyone she's the love of his life. Well, yeah, you don't have to be Nancy Drew to work that one out.

Naturally, the trio start rummaging through all Kevin's stuff and make fun of his beloved coin collection. Invasion of privacy much? Sure enough, Paige finds what she's looking for.

Later, Kevin wants to go to go a tattoo parlor. Apparently he doesn't have enough generic tattoos and wants one more. Oh, but wait, no: This is all just a ploy because—yes—he's going to propose marriage! With writing scrawled on his arm. In the middle of a tattoo parlor while a strange man with the world's oddest facial hair ever looks on curiously. On national TV. With a big gothic-style ring that looks like something a doomed Edgar Allan Poe heroine would wear. This is all a bit weird.

Despite knowing this was coming, Paige seems a bit taken aback but eventually manages to churn out something resembling a "Yes." Her reasoning? "He knows me well, at least." Oh, dear. This is as doomed as a Ric Flair marriage. I think Paige is just after his coin collection. Get a pre-nup, Kevin!

Meanwhile, Brie and Nikki discuss Daniel Bryan's health concerns while they have wine. Or maybe Nikki just looks for any excuse for some wine-drinking, I don't know. Brie feels Bryan has to accept his career might be done and it's time to move on. Perhaps he can start his own composting toilet line?

Bryan tells Brie the doctors and WWE officials don't want him back in the ring yet. He doesn't know if he'll ever get cleared but he is determined to wrestle again. Brie's main concern is still his heath. She thinks he's too busy living in the moment and doesn't care about the future. Brie is actually spot on here: There's no point having a couple more years in the main event scene if it means being in agony and a physical wreck heading into your middle age. Ask Mick Foley. Or Kurt Angle. Or Hulk Hogan.

In other news from this episode: Jimmy Uso decides to pursue a career in stand up comedy. Dolph Ziggler gets him a spot at the Laugh Factory in LA. Jimmy tries his act out in front of Naomi and her dad. Eh, let's just say Chris Rock has nothing to worry about. This is as entertaining as watching an Eva Marie promo. Naomi gets mad because so much of his act is childish remarks about her personal hygiene. Oh, Jimmy. You should have just stuck to asking what the deal with airline food is.


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