Total Divas Recap: Dolph And Nikki, TJ Gets Hurt, Paige's Relationship Woes, More

This week: Dolph Ziggler still wants Nikki. Don't tell Lana.

So, backstage at Raw, Dolph is flirting outrageously with Nikki. Brie comments on it and says it's a little awkward and perhaps inappropriate. Daniel Bryan doesn't like it either. Come on, guys. Chill. Why are you all up in Nikki's business?

Dolph, you understand, is the exact double of Kurt Russell circa 1982. That would usually be enough to win over any woman with a three-digit-IQ. He has a cheekbone structure that would make Orlando Bloom feel inferior. He's lovely.

So why doesn't Nikki throw aside her spray tan and wine bottles and run off into the sunset with him? Well, uh, she's with John Cena, who has an impressive cheekbone structure too, but doesn't want to get married or have children. Dolph, however, does. So, Nikki is conflicted.

We end with "To be Continued." Man, this is the greatest TV cliffhanger since Jack and Locke opened the hatch or Special Agent Dale Cooper looked into the mirror and asked how Annie was.


In this episode's other main storyline: The show finally covers TJ's neck injury that he suffered in the ring in a match with Samoa Joe in June. Nattie is understandably devastated. The poor thing. She's just finished wondering if he's having an illicit gay affair with Cesaro and now she has to deal with this? It gets to the point she even neglects her own eye injury to deal with his troubles.

On the bright side, TJ remains optimistic and insists he will wrestle again. Well, I imagine that after dealing with Nattie's insane sister, Nattie's random adoption of 20 cats and Nattie's "I am only 32 but am way too old!" mid-life crisis thingy, a broken neck and a near-death experience isn't that much of a big deal. TJ is a survivor.


Paige, meanwhile, has to tell her generic boyfriend Kevin that she doesn't want to marry him. She goes to Alicia Fox, Nattie, Nikki and Rosa Mendes for relationship advice, which is a bit like asking Britney Spears for tips on advanced astrophysics.

And a season-long story arc finishes: Eva Marie's wrestling career is getting started. She heads to NXT for a wrestling match. Credit to the girl: She's trying. And her in-ring outfit is very, very cool. WWE has to (obviously) doctor in some cheers, but other than that, it seems to go OK. She's no Manami Toyota or anything, but she will be fine.

On the next season of Total Divas: Nikki leaves Cena to be with Dolph, TJ divorces Nattie to be with Cesaro and we finally find out whether or not Tony Soprano got shot at the end in that diner.

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