Total Divas Recap: New Diva Mandy Joins The Show, Nikki And Brie Argue, Nattie's Party,More
The show opens with TJ wanting to stay home and watch old wrestling DVDs. Nattie urges him to go out and socialize. TJ is reluctant. Every male wrestling fan in the world can relate to TJ. Anyway, Nattie wants to find a way to cheer him up after his recent neck surgery. Just leave the man alone with his WWE Network subscription, Nat.
In other news: New Total Divas cast member Mandy Rose is making her debut. Mark Carrano introduces her to the girls. All through this, Mandy smiles sweetly and brightly, but still looks highly nervous and terrified of making a mistake or saying the wrong word in case it spells her instant doom. She's a bit like a Miss USA competitor in that respect.
Eva Marie wants her as her tag partner. They are both extraordinarily pretty yet very clueless about the industry. So at least they have some things in common.
Later, Mandy questions why everyone irrationally hates Eva so much. Mandy, honey, I wonder the same thing myself. My current working theory is they are all really jealous of her impossibly cool Run Lola, Run-style hair.
Anyway: Mandy is fine. I'm not convinced she's interesting enough to warrant a major spot on this show, but we'll see. I'd rather have Summer Rae back, to be honest. At least she occasionally assaulted people and that was fun to watch.
Meanwhile: Brie and Nikki are arguing over a fitness endorsement. Brie and Nikki are always arguing. If this TV show has taught me anything, it's that being a twin essentially means being in a never-ending, existentialist lifelong argument with someone who looks exactly like you. Thank God I wasn't a twin.
Nikki gets some advice from John. Like, seriously: Everyone on this show gets advice from John. Doesn't he ever get tired of being an unpaid therapist? It's like if Dr. Phil were a multi-time WrestleMania eventer. John, man. I'll give you advice: You don't have to deal with everyone else's problems. At least not without charging $70 an hour.
Back to the point: John sensibly tells his girlfriend she has to let her sister have her own life and make her own personal and professional choices. Nikki seems to get that she's being unreasonable.
While this is going on, Nattie holds a surprise cat party for TJ. Or, rather, surprise cat purrty. Jenni (Nattie's sister and the bane of TJ's existence) and Big E are both there. They dated for a whole episode once, so things are a bit awkward.
Nattie's army of cats run amok, so R-truth?he also snagged an invitation?gets ridiculously scared. He jumps on a kitchen counter to escape them. Then he barricades the doors. Um, they're cats, bro. Not alligators. It's not like Chairman Meow is secretly plotting your death or anything.
TJ, meanwhile, just looks desperate to get back to watching New Japan DVDs with Cesaro as they both gorge on junk food and compliment each other's workrates.
Later on, Paige, Mandy, Eva, Rosa and Alicia all get stuck on a long car ride together. Instead of this ending up like some Cinemax-type adult movie lesbian scenario?which would at least bring up the male viewing demographic?they all get bored and mad and argue with each other over petty stuff. Frustrated men everywhere sigh.
On next week's episode: R-Truth goes to John Cena for advice on overcoming his fear of cats. Mandy Rose goes to John Cena for advice on fitting in with the divas. John Cena goes to Yoda for advice on everyone asking him for advice.