The Ascension vs. Damien Sandow and Fandango
Fandango gets some early offense on Viktor with a sunset flip and an enziguri. Sandow is tagged in to a huge pop, where he hits a neckbreaker and his signature elbow. Sandow walks right into a flapjack and eats Fall of Man. Ascension wins.
Winners: The Ascension via pinfall (Fall of Man)
Welcome back, Damien.
Zack Ryder vs. Stardust
Stardust knocks Zack Ryder down, and inexplicably starts gyrating his dong at the crowd. Ryder conjures up a big "woo woo woo" chant and dropkicks Stardust before applying a standing armbar and hitting a running blockbuster for a two count.
Ryder sends Stardust to the outside and hits a suicide dropkick. Back inside the ring, Stardust dodges Ryder and the Internet champion falls to the outside. We come back from a commercial to see Stardust using a double chickenwing on Ryder. Zack comes back wit a dropkick and a Broski Boot for two.
Stardust reverses a Ryder tornado DDT, and ends up landing a Side Effect. Ryder lands a weird reverse hotshot, and both men end up on the top rope, where Stardust gets a superplex for two. Ryder dodges the Disaster Kick and gets the Rough Ryder for the win.
Winner: Zack Ryder via pinfall (Rough Ryder)
That was the best Superstars match I've seen in a long time.