Total Divas Recap: Rosa's Eating, Paige's Break Up, Nikki And Brie Argue, More

Rosa is gearing up for her child's birth. She's eating everything in sight. Even the doctor tells her to calm down a little. She says to Bobby "How about we divide the fridge in half? My side you can't touch...and your side I can eat!"

Things get so dire that Bobby—perhaps fearing he may starve to death through lack of available food—even sets up cameras in the kitchen and bedroom to keep track of her eating habits.

I'm not cool with food-shaming a pregnant lady, but in fairness, they did play it mostly for laughs and we weren't meant to take it that seriously.

However, note to readers: setting up cameras to spy on your spouse is definitely not OK if it isn't for the purposes of comedic relief on a lightweight E! reality programme. Otherwise you just seem like a stalker and a restraining order might be necessary.

Paige's flame-haired tattooed pro wrestler mom Saraya comes over to hang out. They wrestle and fight and brutalize each other on trampolines. You know, your typical mother/daughter bonding stuff.

Later, Paige tells her mother she's having problems with Kevin. Yes, again. "We need to talk about Kevin, " Paige sighs, looking a bit like Tilda Swinton. (Oh, come up. I had to get in that joke before the guy was off the show!)

He's ignoring her and being emotionally distant. Saraya, however, compliments Kevin heavily and urges her daughter to make it work. It's possible she likes Kevin more than even Paige does at this point. "Why don't you marry him?" Paige snaps, perhaps giving the producers of this show a future storyline idea.

Anyway, by the end of the episode, Kevin and Paige are finally done. Eh, that's probably for the best. There was just too much arguing there. Dr Shelby couldn't have fixed those two. Besides, we now have Bobby as the show's resident "Moody Bearded Tattooed Musician Guy" so Kevin wasn't really needed. A tired Paige ends the episode by saying she's "done" with guys for a while.

No, Paige. No. You have to start dating Dolph Ziggler now, so he can be on this show more. You're the only single girl in the cast now, so you're going to have to make this sacrifice for the purpose of entertainment value. (Note: Look at him. It won't be much of a sacrifice.)

In other news: Nikki doesn't approve of Brie's plan to get a new scooter. She thinks they're dangerous. Man, wait till she hears about how risky this pro wrestling thing is. She's also not crazy about her sister purchasing one from a mysterious, random Craigslist seller (in a suspicious-looking white van, no less.) Thankfully, Brie doesn't get kidnapped by a serial killer and gets her scooter.

"How could you let her do this?" Nikki demands of Bryan, apparently not getting this whole "marriage is an equal partnership" idea.

The scooter storyline was rather boring and hinted that the writers might be running out of ideas, but it did, however, give us this classic exchange between Nikki and Bryan. "I've been trying to tell you guys how to live for a long time." "Right. And we don't listen. It's why we're so happy!" Oh, Bryan.

On next week's show: Nikki borrows Bobby's cameras and puts them all over Bryan and Brie's house. Just so she can keep an eye on the couple. For their own good, of course. "Someone has to look out for my sister!" Nikki says, with a slightly mad glint in her eye.


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