Any time you see the word "Paige" in anything relating to the WWE, you know there's going to be trouble. Good, bad, or indifferent, however, Paige is someone who brings news headlines and ratings to any show she's on, so it makes sense that she's returning to the Total Divas cast.
The show, along with its sister show Total Bellas, suffered record viewership lows last season -- the latter show, of course, suffered the most because of the kayfabe Nikki Bella/John Cena storyline that many felt was a "work" -- so they needed something to boost their numbers.
Thanks to a variety of factors, the women have never been a more important part of the WWE. We've come a long way from the days of Miss Elizabeth (RIP), and this period -- which seems to be forming as "The Women's Evolution" in real time -- means that if you want to be a woman wrestler in the WWE, now's the time to get in.
Unfortunately, Paige is suffering from a debilitating neck injury that's going to force her into an early retirement, and no one -- at this point in the story -- knows that but her.
And this couldn't come at a worse time for poor Paige -- the season premiere opens just about a week prior to WrestleMania 34, and some of the matches are going to be considered career-defining for many of the women on this show.
The Diva under the most pressure, of course, is none other than Nia "The Rock's Cousin" Jax, who's competing for the Raw Women's Title.
So while many of the women have no time for anything, Paige has the curse of too much time on her hands.
To fill up her boring days and nights, Paige books some touristy activities, and hopes that Nia will join along, since the two have bonded in a sisterly type way. Unfortunately, Nia is busy preparing for her match, so she misses out on the crocs'n'swamps (though, in fairness to Nia, there are perhaps a million and one other things one can do that sound infinitely more fun than crocodile watching).
Paige gets in her feelings, and thinks that Nia doesn't want to be friends anymore because Paige is hurt. Nia, of course, thinks Paige is nuts for thinking as much.
WWE (@WWE) September 19, 2018
Meanwhile, Natalya is promoting the Birdiebee line to any and everyone who will listen, and even promises personal appearances by the Bella twins (Brie, of course, is the company's CEO) to those who buy the Birdiebee wares.
This, naturally, creates a PR nightmare, and Brie ends up having to tell her friend to take several chill pills.
At the end of it all, though, all's well that ends well: Nia and Paige make amends, and Paige decides to buy herself a voodoo doll to remind herself that everything will, in fact, be okay after all. Not sure how that works, at the end of the day, but whatever.
Total Divas airs every Wednesday night at 9:00 p.m. EST on E! Check your local listings.