Impact Wrestling's Throwback Throwdown Results: The International Commonwealth Title Is On The Line

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Tonight, we're going back to 1983, where Sally Ride is the first woman in space, Microsoft is released, D.A.R.E. launches, "Billie Jean" is released and McDonalds comes out with the McNuggets. During those cultural events, a promotion called Impact Provincial Wrestling Federation (IPWF) debuted. Their hair is big and the gimmicks are over the top. Witness wrestling's most exciting promotion of all time! Get your hairspray and sunglasses ready, because this show is going to be tubular!

Welcome to IPWF! The first match of the night is announced!

Rip Rayzer (Ace Austin) vs. Rapid Delivery Pete (Rich Swann)

Pete puts the pizzas down and sends Rayzer down on the mat. Rayzer gets up and puts Pete in an arm lock. Pete fights back with a high slam and then the high delivery splash. He goes for the cover and Pete wins the match in 30-minutes or less, well less!

Winner: Rapid Delivery Pete (Rich Swann)

During an Interview: Julian Cumberbun (Ethan Page) and his incredible manager Sonny Sanders (Sami Callihan) talk about how they are the best in the promotion. Downtown Daddy Brown (Willie Mack) disagrees. He issues a challenge for later tonight!

After the break, some tag team action!

"Xcessive Force" (Fallah Bahh and D-Lo Brown) vs. "Hard Workers: Oats & Hall" (Cody and Cousin Jake)

Xcessive Force wastes little time and attacks Hard Workers right when their backs are turned. Brown grabs hold of Cody's (Oats') hair. Oats climbs to his feet and hits Bahh. Brown gets tagged in and throws Oats. Oats crawls over to tag in Hall (Jake). Oats and Hall work together with a double lariat. Hall with several rolling hands. Oats is tagged and he and Hall end the match with a double sunset flip on Brown. They cover Brown and win the match!

Winners: "Hard Workers: Oats & Hall" (Cody and Cousin Jake)

Post-Match: Xcessive Force is not happy that they lost, so they attack Oats & Hall.

After the match, Dave and Jake Crist are surfing their way to IPWF next week!

Back from the break, Johnny Swinger makes his way to the ring.

Johnny Swinger vs. Buck Gunderson

Swinger begins the match with a running lariat on Gunderson. Next, Swinger goes for the running backdrop. He flexes his arms to the audience. As he's doing that, Gunderson sneaks up from behind and attacks him. Swinger reverses it by putting Gunderson in the corner. Swinger ends the match with a Swinger Neckbreaker. He goes for the cover and wins the match!

Winner: Johnny Swinger

After the match, Frank The Butcher (Rhino) cuts a promo and warns the IPWF that he's coming...

Backstage interviewer Iceman calls out The Rough Riders (Tessa Blanchard, Jordynne Grace, Jessicka Havok & Alexia Nicole). They cannot believe that anyone would want to step in the ring with them, especially some local male wrestlers.

Up next, women's single action!

Jazzy Fitbody (Madison Rayne) vs. Agnes Deerheart (Alisha Edwards)

Deerheart goes for an arm submission. Fitbody counters out of it. Sebastian Baker (Jimmy Jacobs) makes his way to the ring to watch the ladies compete. Fitbody and Deerheart collide with arm drags. Fitbody has Deerheart in the fireman's position and goes for a few squats while holding on to Deerheart. Fitbody goes to the top and lands a huge splash. Fitbody goes for the cover and wins the match!

Winner: Jazzy Fitbody (Madison Rayne)

Post-Match: Baker comes into the ring and asks Fitbody if he can be her manager. The fans yell out "No." Baker says if she doesn't, she'll get struck with some bad luck. She signs the contract, low blows him, and rips up the contract.

Up next, an eight-person tag team match!

Tim Burr (Josh Alexander), Mr. Jim Naysium (Dez), Phil Game (Trey) & Ray Strack (Wentz) vs. The Rough Riders (Tessa Blanchard, Jordynne Grace, Jessicka Havok & Alexia Nicole)

Game and Blanchard start the match. Game informs Blanchard that she is not wearing proper attire to wrestle. She goes right for a side headlock. Game takes out his shaver after him and Blanchard go back-and-forth. Blanchard tags in Grace. Game tags in Jim. Grace tells Jim to stop after he runs towards the ropes several times. He rolls her up and pins her. Grace kicks out. Jim tags in Naysium. Grace tags in Blanchard. Naysium does a few jumping jacks, while Blanchard is running towards the ropes. He blows his whistle and tags in Tim. Blanchard tags in Havok. Havok bear hugs Tim. Tim bites her head and gets out of it. He climbs to the top and lands a double-ax handle. He goes for the cover and Havok kicks out. The fans chant "Tim Burr, Tim Burr." Tim chest chops Havok. She goes over and tags in Nicole. Ray is in the ring now and he is speed driving through the ladies. He goes for the pin on Blanchard and she kicks out. Ray climbs to the top, jumps off and Blanchard moves out of the way. She counters with a buzzsaw DDT... goes for the cover... and the ladies win!!

Winners: The Rough Riders (Tessa Blanchard, Jordynne Grace, Jessicka Havok & Alexia Nicole)

Last week, Ali just couldn't bodyslam The 300,000 Dollar Man (Kongo Kong). His challenge was worth $2,000. This week, the Body Slam challenge is up to $3,000. A man named Mr. Atlantis steps up this week. He just didn't make it. Someone else comes out. It's Muscles McGee (Brian Cage). Kong's manager says that the challenge is over for the week. McGee says he didn't come out for the money, he came out for the fans. He wants to represent his Canadian fans. The challenge is granted. McGee bodyslams Kong. He wins $3,000!

Tommy Dreamer is angry that he was stripped the IPWF title. In two weeks, he will get what's rightfully his!

And now, some singles action!

DJ 2 Large (Moose) vs. Captain Joystick (Joey Ryan) w/ Miss Mile High (Kiera Hogan)

Large hypes up the crowd with some clapping. Joystick cannot stand his positive mindset and how the fans are following with the claps. Joystick puts Miss Mile High out in front of him. Large just kisses her hand. Large hand chops Joystick's private member. Joystick's member is so strong that Large's hand hurts after hitting it. Large puts a chair around his neck and implicates that Joystick did it. The referee talks to Joystick, trying to understand what happened. Large finishes the match with a spinning clothesline. He goes for the cover and wins the match!

Winner: DJ 2 Large (Moose)

A week after their match, Joystick invites Large to his cockpit. Joystick goes off on Large. He says he's the classiest man in IPWF. He asks Large to discuss his rap career, then interrupts and says that rap is not a music genre. Large spits a rap and it makes Joystick so mad that he hits him.

A month ago, Gamma Singh blew a fireball right into Cowboy Colt McCoy's (Eddie Edwards) eyes. Since his eyes are damaged, he issues a challenge to Singh this week in a blindfold match.

Cowboy Colt McCoy (Eddie Edwards) vs. Gamma Singh (w/Raj Singh) in a blindfold match

Bell rings, and both men are trying to find one another. The fans in the audience are trying to give both men directions on where to go. Singh lands on the ropes. Raj on the outside pokes McCoy, causing him to lose his balance. Gama takes his blindfold off when the referee isn't looking. He puts his blindfold back on and believes he's hip tossing McCoy. Raj is on the apron and McCoy with a big forearm takes Raj off. McCoy finds Gamma, plants a clothesline, pins Gamma, and wins the match!

Winner: Cowboy Colt McCoy (Eddie Edwards)

Post-Match: Iceman goes to the ring and interviews McCoy. During his interview, two Russian wrestlers (Mike Elgin and Madman Fulton) choke him with a chain. Scott D' Amore comes down to the ring to help McCoy. The Russians attack Amore. They put the Russian flag on McCoy and stand tall afterward.

Amore takes his frustrations out on his son (Josh Mathews) on commentary and then tells Iceman how mad he is that the Russians came to IPWF and tried to ruin his show. He says even though he shouldn't compete, he's going to lace up his boots and kick some Commie a** next week.

And now, your main event!

Julian Cumberbun (c.) (Ethan Page) w/Sonny Sanders (Sami Callihan) vs. Downtown Danny Brown (Willie Mack) for the International Commonwealth TV Title. Loser has to leave town!

Both men begin the match in a lockup. Brown pushes Cumberbun in the corner. Cumberbun pushes his way out of the corner. Cumberbun gets sent out of the ring. Sanders on the outside motivates him to get back in the ring. Brown comes out and Sanders yells "I'm just the manager." Cumberbun steals someone's hat in the audience and pretends to be one of the fans, he even starts chanting "Danny Brown." Brown sends him back in the ring. Cumberbun kicks Brown in the lower region. Sanders on the outside takes a whack at Brown with his tennis racket. Brown falls to the outside. While Cumberbun talks to the referee, Sanders sneaks a few kicks on Brown. Brown is back in the ring. Cumberbun puts Brown in the figure four. Brown reverses the submission. Sanders helps Cumberbun grab on to the bottom rope. Both men exchange hits. Brown is about to pin Cumberbun and Sanders grabs hold of Cumberbun's hands. Cumberbun let's go and gets pinned. He kicks out in time. Brown with several elbow strikes follows. Brown goes for the cover and Sanders places Cumberbun's foot on the bottom rope. Sanders is up on the apron distracting the referee. Cumberbun sneaks in the tennis racket and hits Brown with it. Sanders gets pushed off the apron and Brown rolls Cumberbun up in a pin. Brown becomes the new champion!!

Winner and New International Commonwealth TV Champion: Downtown Danny Brown (Willie Mack)

That concludes this week's radical programming! Have a great Thanksgiving!