TNA Victory Road 2011: Retro 3 Things We Hated And 3 Things We Loved

Total Nonstop Action Wrestling might be experiencing something of a resurgence today, but when fans consider the promotion's past, the first thing to come to mind likely isn't one of the great moments, like Elix Skipper walking the cage or AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Samoa Joe. No, the first thought that generally comes to mind about TNA of old is something bad and easily mockable. The reverse battle royal, Jenna vs. Sharmell, Aces & Eights — any of these could take first place when it comes to things that have made TNA infamous. But for many, the standout of suck, "The Godfather Part III" of TNA is none other than Victory Road 2011.

Fifteen years ago this month, TNA put on a show so full of nonsense that it's impossible to fit all of it into this piece. Among the things you won't read about in great detail from this show are a Knockouts Tag Team Championship match where the future Zelina Vega teases a belt shot for what feels like five years, the blandest tag title match to ever feature two mohawked individuals and Beer Money Inc., and Jeff and Karen Jarrett's honeymoon. All of that happened, all of it was wacky, and it was still a distant second to the other stuff we are going to discuss — some of it actually tolerable! With that setup done, here are three things I loved (well, liked at least) and three things I hated about the atrocity that is TNA Victory Road 2011!

Okay, this one I did truly love, which is saying something because the rest of this "BUSTED OPEN CO-HOSTS EXPLODE!" street fight did nothing for me. That may just me being fickle, but in a world where AEW is having Texas Death Matches like they have, Bully Ray and Tommy Dreamer doing tame hardcore spots that lead to Bully 69'ing a blowup doll just doesn't really hit home all that much.

But there is one moment of sheer stupid brilliance here, where Dreamer is using weapons fans brought to attack Bully and comes across a giant Minion plushy. Does he use it? You better believe it! Does Bully bump for it like Darby Allin being thrown off the ring apron by Rush? You better believe he does! Did I laugh? Hell, I'm still laughing. Call it comedic brilliance, call it unintentional comedic brilliance, I don't care; it was funny and easily the best thing on the show. And also evidence that can be used to blackmail Bully when he has a take about how wrestling needs to be serious. Didn't need to be when you were bumping for the Minion, Bully!

The second "hardcore" match of the show was very much like the first, except there was no moment of joy like with the Minion plushy. In fairness, this was always going to be a tough sell. Matt Morgan, at least in my opinion, was on his best day limited and on his worst day downright awful. Hernandez was good ... a few years later in "Lucha Underground," when Ricochet/Prince Puma managed to make him look like a monster. That wasn't here though, so we're treated to what feels like 20 minutes (but was really only eight and a half) of generic brawling before the finish.

And what was the finish? Hernandez winning the match because he squirted fake blood/ketchup/whatever onto Morgan, and the referee Jackson James (aka Garrett Bischoff) somehow falling for it! Ladies and gentlemen, I have seen time limit draws, I have seen nonsensical run in finishes; hell I've even seen a DQ in a Hell in a Cell. But this finish has to be among the laziest, dumbest, and just plain worst you'll ever see in wrestling. Combine it with the lumbering seven minutes leading up to it, and this would be the worst thing on the show if not for ... you know.

As I hinted towards earlier, this is really more of a "liked" than a "loved." Given the history of Ultimate X, we all know that it can reach some very high heights, and this match never seems to come close to hitting those. That being said, it's the only match on this show that I would say easily crosses the "good" mark, which is no surprise because it features the likes of Kazarian, the Young Bucks (doing their dumb Generation Me gimmick) and future "NXT" GM Robert Stone during his Jersey Shore Robbie E days.

That's a lot of talent there, and they make it work; Robbie provides the character, the Bucks provide the flash, and Kazarian is the workhorse that's helped make him one of the more underrated talents of the last few decades. In a field full of "Mortal Kombat: Annihilations," this is a solid "Mortal Kombat" style match.

You can tell from the entrances, and the way Mr. Anderson is giving a stare that would make 1970s Roy Scheider impressed, that TNA wants this match to be SOMETHING IMPORTANT. After all, these are two big stars trying to earn the right to become #1 contender for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship; in theory, it is important, and in theory, two guys like Anderson and RVD should make it work. Then the bell rings, and these two prove to have the chemistry of Anne Hathaway and James Franco hosting the Academy Awards.

They quickly mess up a leap frog spot (no, Mr. Anderson, I don't believe you were doing that intentionally), they later get so lost that RVD has to put a headlock on (imagine reading RVD and headlock in the same sentence), and the rest of the time they seem to be going either way too fast or way too slow with no direction. And then, to make things worse, they top the Hernandez-Morgan finish by going to a Double Countout, a finish presumably designed to make people want to see the match again, only the match was so bad that you instead get the hilarious "Restart the match!" "NO!" duel chant. Only in TNA! Much like with Hernandez and Morgan, this would've been the big disaster of any other show. Alas, an even bigger one awaited.

Again, this is very much a "liked" instead of a "loved," and frankly, "liked" may be pushing it. This is how bad the show was; I have to grasp at straws to fill out this third part. But I'll give it up for this match because, while Matt Hardy provides almost next to nothing in my view, AJ Styles is, as per usual, working his tail off.

Sure, it may be a semi-tame Styles in comparison to some of his greater matches, but you cannot say the guy doesn't give an effort; he's flying around, he's doing things like sliding under the guardrail to position himself for a Springboard Phenomenal Forearm, and he's even breaking out the Spiral Tap to put Hardy away. And he only used that move every once in awhile, so you knew he was feeling himself when he took it out here. There's still only so much he can do because this version of Matt Hardy is just so much lesser than the others, not to mention the match is filled with Ric Flair interference that brings it down. But overall, it still winds up being the second-best thing on the show thanks to AJ, so thus it gets this honor.

Part of me is almost of the mind that there's nothing more that can be said about this match; we've all probably seen it by now, we all know it was a disgrace. Does it really bear repeating that point again? After further review, YES!

This match is a failure on almost every level, from Jeff Hardy being obviously impaired during his entrance to Eric Bischoff vamping to Sting literally pinning Hardy down for the three-count to end an 88-second world title match, even though Hardy clearly tried to kick out. Sting and referee Brian Hebner are the only ones here that I would say showed any professionalism. All credit to Jeff Hardy for owning his behavior over the years, but it doesn't change the fact that he certainly didn't act professional by coming out for this match in no condition to perform. The TNA executives who allowed him to go out there, who allowed him to get into this state by not keeping a closer eye on him during the day, and who were so clueless to this that they couldn't put together a proper replacement match in time, were somehow even less professional. And by the way, they continued to be that way in the years since, all trying to pass the buck of blame from themselves. That, dear readers, is how you wind up with this match, one of the most embarrassing things to ever occur in a wrestling ring. You would think I don't need to tell you it's a total disgrace, but then again, we should probably all be reminded how terrible this was, just to make sure it never happens again.

Fifteen years later, we all agree with Sting, who agreed with the fans. "That was bulls***," indeed.